


Memoirs of the Destined

by katriona_subasa



Series: Memoirs of Jugdral [4]
Category: Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
Genre: Gen, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-06-17 18:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 44,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15467037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katriona_subasa/pseuds/katriona_subasa
Summary: Some stories slip through the cracks. Some stories burn when war and chaos sweep across the lands. But there are always those who remember, and tell them to those wanting to know more about the heroes destiny led down a dark and tragic path. (FE4 First Gen; Oneshot Collection)





	1. Knight and Healer

Knight and Healer

_Sigurd POV - Gran 757_

* * *

Jungby had always been a second home to me. Father had been friends with Ring since they were young boys hitting each other with sticks, they were the Best Men at each other's weddings, and even in their old age, they were always there for each other with barbed words that hid how much they loved each other. As such, I'd spent almost as much time in Jungby as I did in my own Chalphy, playing with Brigid and Aideen, teasing Andrei, and riding through the vast and colorful fields. Of course, this visit wasn't nearly as pleasurable. I was in Jungby now because we heard Verdanites had crossed the border and struck, killing many of the knights left behind and kidnapping Aideen, my oldest friend. We had driven them out, thanks to Father leaving me behind with some of our knights on Arvis's advice, but it was clear that this would be a much more drawn out conflict than expected. Grannvale, essentially, was fighting two wars, enough to make even the fiercest and most foolhardy quake in their boots.

At the moment, though, I was quaking for a far different reason. Ethlyn, my dearest and darlingest little sister, had been injured in the battle. Already a thing to shake my heart, but Quan was fussier than a mother hen. And Ethlyn _hated_ being fussed over. Meaning I was quaking because I desperately was trying to keep my sister from murdering my brother-in-law out of sheer exasperation.

"Look, look, how about I see if there's a healer available?" I suggested, bringing my hands up slightly in a hopefully placating gesture. Some part of me, probably the part of me that held onto what little sense I had, screamed that I should just run and keep out of the married couple's spat. The rest continued to stay exactly where I was, right between the two in the tent Finn had set up for Ethlyn to rest in. "I'm heading into town to check on the wounded _anyway_." Particularly Midir. Midir had been _horribly_ injured in the assault, to the point that I was surprised he was still alive when we found him. "And I'm sure the healer will confirm exactly what you say, Ethlyn, but you _did_ get hit with an arrow."

"That was only because _you_ were reckless!" Ethlyn snapped, focusing her ire on me. I sighed, and Quan shot me a sympathetic, and thankful, smile. "Jumping over me with a horse of all things!"

"In my defense, you were _not_ in my line of sight when I first charged that enemy." And when I couldn't stop in time… well, jumping was the obvious choice. "I do acknowledge that the shock was why you got hit with the arrow in the first place." And then she dodged an axe, which knocked the arrow loose. "And your worry for me, which is what brought you all the way up here in the first place."

"I wasn't worried about you." She scowled, huffing. "I just knew you would have some trouble without a healer, and Father said that he was taking all of ours with him, including Bishop Palmark. And, besides, when was the last time people were in trouble and you _didn't_ leap straight in? Someone had to save you from yourself."

"Well…" I wished I had a good retort to that, but I didn't really. She was right. If someone needed help, my sense tended to run, and if involved people I cared about… "Wow, been a while since I got this lecture. Yet you give it like it was only yesterday."

"Probably because I had to yell at you so much that it's engraved on my soul. I'll probably be saying it when I'm dead." Which hopefully wouldn't be for a very, very long time and after me. She was one of my most 'precious' people, after all.

But that didn't mean I couldn't tease her. "Such a lecturer. I feel sorry for Quan!" I laughed and laughed even harder when Quan threw up his hands in a clear 'oh, no. I am not getting in the middle of this'.

"It's your fault, dummy!" She picked up a pillow from the cot she was on and threw it at me. I, of course, ducked, and Quan caught it before it went sailing out the entrance. "Ugh… regardless, I learned how to heal so that I could help and save lives. I've gotten lots of practice in Leonster as well, so I knew I could be useful."

"I'm sure." Though it did hurt my heart. My only 'complaint' about her marrying Quan had been her going to Leonster, which was in a constant 'unofficial' war with Thracia. But she knew the dangers, and coddling her wouldn't do anything but make everyone miserable. "Still, dragging Quan all the way out here..."

"Like Quan wasn't already packing as soon as we heard about Isaach."

"Well, of course I was," Quan confirmed, not hesitating in the slightest. He even frowned at the implication that he wouldn't have done that. "Sigurd is every bit as important to me as he is to you, my love. We were brothers in all but blood even before you and I married." That was true. He, Eldigan, and me… we had been friends for quite some time. I couldn't imagine my life without either and, hopefully, I never would have to. "Took a while to argue Father into letting me come."

"I think he only agreed because you were planning on sneaking out," Ethlyn pointed out. She did smile sweetly when he tucked the pillow behind her. "But if anything, I'd say you dragged me."

"I think between you and me, it was a mutual dragging. With poor Finn behind us. Still, I think the experience will be good for him." Quan shook his head. "Regardless, dear, please let Sigurd…"

"All right, all right!" Ethlyn threw her hands up in surrender. "I give! But if they're busy, Sigurd…!"

"Like I'm going to _order_ a healer," I deadpanned. I knew better that to do that; I liked having my head not bitten off. "Gods, how low of an opinion do you have of me?" I smiled to let her know I was joking and crouched down a little to give her a hug. "Thank you very much for coming, by the way, as I've missed you greatly." I kissed her forehead. "I will be right back with a healer, just in case. You just rest and try not to strangle Quan, okay?"

"Okay, brother," she murmured with a smile. She then returned the hug, giggling. "I've missed you greatly too. Let's catch up as soon as Aideen is safe."

"Sounds good." I ruffled her hair as I pulled away and winked at Quan. "Try not to fret her to death, dear friend. Otherwise, she's going to make herself a widow!"

That time, Quan was the one who threw the pillow, but I dodged and escaped, laughing. Then, keeping that smile, I looked over our very small group. Emphasis on 'very small'. Naoise, Alec, Arden… my dear and brave knights who fought beside me… Originally, I had wanted them to stay back, not wanting to risk their lives for what I knew was a foolhardy course. But Naoise chastised me, reminding me that he was a knight in my service, and proud to risk dying to fight in my name. And, of course, how disgraceful it would be if they let me risk my life alone in battle. It was good that he had argued with me, since the three made up for my shortcomings so easily.

Despite being a lord and knight, I hyper-focused on saving Aideen, and it was Alec who reminded me that we had to ensure the safety of the villages as well. A very good thing as many were already under assault, since Verdane's attack was far more widespread than I could've ever expected. Though, to be fair, it had been Oifeye's idea. Oifeye had simply been hesitant to bring it up, while Alec had no qualms reminding me when my fervor outrode my sense. He never had.

Of course, the battle would not have been possible without Arden guarding our backs. Due to being thrown from a horse as a page, Arden couldn't ride, but his strength allowed him to wear much heavier armor and his sturdiness made him perfectly ideal for guarding. Though he didn't like being reminded of how 'slow' he was, compared to the rest of us. Still, he was the only reason I allowed Oifeye to come along with us. I knew no harm would come to Oifeye if Arden was near to guard him.

The thought of Oifeye made me hunt for him, and I smiled when I saw him tending to my horse, while Finn did the same with Quan's. The two were talking shyly, smiling at each other, and it gladdened my heart. Between his grief at losing his parents so abruptly and his social awkwardness, he was horribly isolated. I'd done what I could for him, and thankfully, it seemed to be working, but it was good to see him with a friend his own age, especially one who was a squire much like himself. I could only hope that it would be a friendship that lasted. I knew well about how vital friendships could be for a knight. How vital they could be for anyone, really.

"Whoa, watch it!" However, woolgathering in the middle of a pathway wasn't exactly the brightest of ideas, particularly when people were moving things. "You okay, Sigurd?" Lex asked, setting down the boxes he'd been carrying, all three of them. Though Neir's blood wasn't known for strength, as Hezul's was, the weight of their armor and axes meant that such strength was _required_ and Lex had no qualms showing it off. "Staring off into space like that isn't exactly the best of ideas."

"I think the boxes that almost collided with my thick skull proved that," I joked, laughing a little. Behind him, I saw Azel carrying a basket of much lighter things. I thought about making another joke, but then I noticed how much he was fidgeting, so instead, decided to simply be concerned. "Is everything all right, Azel?"

"Hmm? Y-yeah!" Azel replied, voice going a little squeaky. Lex facepalmed. "Just… well, this is the farthest I've ever been from home."

"Really?" For a split-second, that surprised me, but then I remembered Arvis had once told me that Azel often became ill while riding. We often spoke when we were at formal events at the same time, both because we adored our little siblings and because we both rolled our eyes at all the matchmakers. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm well." Azel's smile calmed. "So long as I ride the horse, and not ride in a carriage, I don't get sick anymore."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." However, that reminder made me _very_ curious about something. Very. Curious. "I forgot to ask this earlier, Azel, but is Arvis okay with you being here?"

"Er… well…" Azel smiled nervously; Lex chuckled. That was all the answer I needed.

"Something tells me you're in for _quite_ the scolding later." I swore I could hear it even now. And the lecture _I_ was going to get for being adjacent to this issue.

"Yeah…" Azel winced and looked down, fussing with the items in the basket. They looked to be cloths. "I'm quite the nuisance for him…"

"I highly doubt that is the case." I thought of how Arvis's expression would light up when talking about his little brother. Sometimes, it felt like Azel was one of Arvis's very few joys. It made me worry and wish I had more time to spend in the north, so that I could better befriend him. "However, no matter what I think, that doesn't change how you feel. And, no matter your reasons, I am thankful for your assistance."

"You sure? Because you were just staring down the whole Verdanite army with only a handful of people," Lex pointed out. I tried not to sigh, because in retrospect, that had been very, very reckless. I could hear Eldigan scolding the living hell out of me. "But, whatever. I just can't 'no' to this twerp." Lex sighed, though his smile showed he didn't mind at all. "Man, I can't believe I let you drag me into another mess, Azel."

"Well, what else could we do? Most of our forces are warring with Isaach, with Jungby and Chalphy on a skeleton force!" Azel protested with a frown. He set the basket on top of the boxes Lex had been carrying. "We must do our part to help. We have a responsibility to the people, as both nobles and descendents of the Crusaders."

"You're parroting Arvis there." Lex grinned and slung his arm around Azel's shoulder. "Come on! We've been friends for how long now? You can just admit the reason is to help out Aideen and look all cool for her."

"Of course not, you dolt!" Azel, however, began turning as red as his hair, and I couldn't help but snicker. "Sigurd, ignore him!"

"Of course, of course," I replied, doing my best to not burst into laughter. Or wincing sympathetically. While I had never been interested in romances, I had heard Quan and Eldigan both talk about unrequited love and how painful it was. And I knew Azel's feelings were unrequited, because Aideen had been in love with Midir for _years_. "I suppose we can change the subject for your sake." I focused on Lex. "So, I'm going to assume that your father has no idea you're here, Lex."

"Oh, hell no!" Lex yelped, shaking his head. For a split-second, I saw raw pain and even rawer hatred in his eyes. Then it was gone. "You kidding? With how much my father hates yours?"

"I figured as much." I wasn't quite sure why, but Duke Langbalt of Dozel absolutely loathed Father. Father never explained why, but also never thought much about it, or Duke Langbalt. Sometimes, I wondered if that was the problem. "I imagine I shall receive a very angry messenger from Dozel, then."

"Doubt he cares." Lex rolled his eyes, and then half-scowled at me. "Just to be clear, though. I'm not here for you. I'm here for Azel. He's my best friend and I owe him more than I can ever hope to repay." Again, there was a flash of pain. Something had happened and it was something that _hadn't_ entered the gossips. Which hinted it was very, very bad. "He wanted to help."

"Then I am extra-appreciative of your assistance, Lex." I smiled as warmly as I could, and Lex softened pretty quickly. Azel, however, looked at him worriedly, hinting there was much more going on. And if they were going to talk about it, then I needed to not be near. "Ah, but here I am being distracted when I've a task. I'll talk to you both later."

I left them behind then and quickly made my way back to town. While the people had offered to let us stay in the castle, due to the amount of cleaning and repairing, I honestly felt it was safer for us to remain outside. Not to mention how… strange… it felt to be inside the walls and not chatting happily with Aideen over something. It wasn't like we camped far from the town, though, and I very quickly found Elder Reisin, the de facto leader of the townspeople given everything, not far from the church that was being used as the infirmary. In between his profuse thanks, I learned that Midir, to my surprise and utter delight, would actually survive. A healer by the name of 'Alicia' had saved him and, even better, he was expected to make a full recovery.

However, Elder Reisin was so insistent on thanking me, each time louder than the last, that it took me forever to finally ask, "How many have perished?"

"Forty-eight." Strangely, the answer didn't come from Elder Reisin. It came, instead, from the young woman stepping out from the church. Patches of dried blood marred her simple, colorless dress as well as her skin and hair. Red hair the same shade as Azel's, hinting to some Velthomer heritage. Her expression was serene and unreadable, from the calm smile to the gentle green eyes, and she held herself with near-perfect poise. "Ah, no, my apologies. It's forty-nine now," she corrected, her voice and tone perfectly neutral. I'd seen it in other healers, and knew from Aideen that healers trained to be this way, but she seemed to take it a step further. "I suspect that we'll reach fifty-two or fifty-three before the night is done, though."

Elder Reisin immediately turned to scold her for the blunt words, but I didn't care. Instead, I focused on the name he'd called her. 'Alicia'. This, then, was the woman who saved Midir's life. So, when she tried to apologize for the 'blunt words', I waved it away. I owed her, after all. Still, it was a surprise to learn that she was the _leader_ of the healers here.

"You must be quite skilled, to have such responsibilities at your age," I murmured, hoping to pay her a compliment. Though, looking her over a second time, I guessed she was _barely_ older than Azel.

"I am only moderately skilled, my lord," Miss Alicia replied, deftly turning the compliment away. Her voice was soft and low, and perfectly even, barely changing at all. It was soothing, truthfully, which I suspected was on purpose. "The more skilled ones were conscripted into the forces for war."

The conversation turned to Aideen and how she was missing. Elder Reisin quietly left to tend to whatever other duties he had, leaving me to talk to Miss Alicia alone. She stated the dangers to Aideen with blunt honesty, but softened the words with a serene smile and apologies for said bluntness. Not that, of course, I hadn't thought about that sort of danger. In fact, I'd argued against Aideen leaving knight training to take up a healer's path, because she'd have less training in defending herself. So, I was terrified for her, and terrified that I'd be too late to help her. Eventually, though, the topic grew too heavy on my heart and I had to change subject.

"Ah, I'm off topic," I murmured, shaking my head. I just had to hope that the famous Ullur luck would help Aideen. "I came here to find a healer and to check on the wounded."

"Well, my lord, you are looking at one," Miss Alicia reminded me. She even brought up her staff for emphasis. "What do you need of me?"

"Are you so certain? I'm sure you're exhausted." For some reason, my words caused her to laugh and the sound brightened her expression considerably. The change was so starting that it was almost enough to make me forget my worry. With so few healers, she had to have been healing for literally hours. "I do not wish to ask too much."

"Well, so long as you don't expect me to change my clothes and give myself more than a cursory wash, I believe I can find the energy to assist you." She laughed again, but her expression became serious and neutral again. Save for her eyes. Her eyes held a spark of purpose to them. "What say you?"

"I say 'thank you kindly'." Because that spark told me one thing important. Keeping her from healing was as 'disgraceful' as trying to keep my knights from following me. Just as they were my knights, she was a healer. Healing was what she did.

So, she followed me back to camp and, at her prompting, we talked a bit about my forces. I explained how Ethlyn was the one injured, and had hoped that complaining about the ever-fretting Quan would get her to at least smile, but she maintained that poise with perfect ease. She even held it even when I teased Quan and Ethlyn about the possibility walking in on them kissing. I thought it might've dropped a little when I dragged Quan out by the collar, but it was too quick to really catch.

"While I am appreciative, how skilled is this healer?" Quan asked, looking back worriedly. If I wasn't maintaining my grip on his shirt, I was sure he'd charge right back in. "I mean no disrespect, of course, but…"

"You're fretting so much that I'm tempted to chuck you into the river, Quan," I teased, continuing to lead him away. I knew the words held weight because I _had_ done that once to get him to stop worrying. Eldigan had done it twice. "Relax. Miss Alicia saved Midir's life."

"She did?" Quan's eyes lit up with relief, and I knew it wasn't just because of the reassurance that she was skilled. He'd been worried about Midir as well. "That speaks of quite a bit of talent."

"It does." I thought it also spoke quite a bit on how lonely she must be, though. Even if you had a talent for something, you did have to work at it in order to truly 'master' it. And, as all those with Holy Blood knew, that required time. It was for that reason that I chose against training as a Master Knight as Father did, because I knew I wanted to focus more on ruling, and still have time to spend with my friends. "So, how about you stop fighting me?"

"Er… right…" Quan coughed and looked away in embarrassment. But soon he was smiling again. "Ah, I missed such banter. It's been much too long, Sigurd."

"It has." That, however, reminded me of just _why_ it had been so long. Not just distance, but also because of… "Are you sure things are okay, though, Quan?" I couldn't help but worry. "I know Thracia…"

"That's why Finn is the only one I brought along with me. Though, don't fret, he's skilled." Quan grinned. "He's got a natural talent and a determination few have."

"I'm sure." Still, I couldn't help but look down, unable to keep his gaze. "I'm sorry for pulling you into this mess." While I never _regretted_ helping people, I always felt guilty over dragging everyone with me. "I know you've got your hands full, and Altena isn't even a year old and-"

"Sigurd, you wound me!" Quan even playfully looked hurt. "Yes, things are difficult in Leonster and yes, I miss Altena, but how could I not keep my part of the pledge we swore?"

"Ah…" I remembered that pledge. We had been talking about our hopes and dreams of the future, of the changes we wished to make, and then Eldigan had suggested that we make an oath, sealed with blood as the ancient oaths of Agustria were. So that it would endure for as long as we and our lines did. "Always to help each other. Come to each other's aid."

"Precisely." Quan grinned. "I am here for you, now and forever. Besides, someone has to help you with these savages, yes? It must get tiring to kill them all on your own!"

"Hey, hey, it wasn't _all_ on my own!" I smiled again, touched. I was truly blessed having him and Eldigan as my friends. "Ah, never mind that. Let's discuss tactics for the next battle, shall we?"

However, even as we talked, I was remembering Miss Alicia and wondered if she might join our cause. We could use a dedicated healer, and… well, she saved Midir and was tending to Ethlyn, despite how tired she had to be. I wanted to repay her for that. And it was likely arrogant to think this, but I thought the best way to repay that was to help her not be so lonely anymore. Help her laugh and smile freely. And our small 'army' was so varied that I was sure that we could help. Though, again, it was probably arrogant and me being a busybody.

Still, I'd just need to think of how to ask. Maybe tomorrow. Today had been far too long for me to continue thinking tactfully.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Welcome to _Memoirs of the Destined_. Yes, it's yet another Memoirs thing. I know; I know. There's a lot. However, because of just how long, timeline wise, the first generation is (5 years), I just couldn't shake the feeling that despite _Memoirs of the Holy War_ completing the first generation (and me quite happy with how it turned out), the first gen chars' stories weren't quite done yet. So, after talking it over with trusted friends, I decided to do this, a oneshot collection much like _Memoirs of the Lost_ , but focused on the First Generation during the years of the game itself. Not all of the oneshots will be in Sigurd's POV, and not all of them will have a focus on Alicia or anything; it just felt right to start off this collection with Sigurd's view of that very important first meeting.
> 
> So, this will work much like _Memoirs of the Lost_. Collection of oneshots, and I will updated whenever I feel like. Stories aren't necessarily going to be in chronological order. You are free to make suggestions, but final say in what appears and whose POV shows up are mine and mine alone and I will go ahead and state that there will likely be no POVs depicting the Belhalla massacre in this particular collection (I feel like things related to that are better suited towards _Memoirs of the Lost_ ). Each story will have a title, with the POV and year listed underneath. Game-Chapter (and _Memoirs of the Holy War_ chapter) will/should show up in the author's notes to help piece together the timeline. Think that's about it… oh, yes, it's 'Destined' because of the 'doors of destiny' phrase that shows up twice in the First Generation (and it was less depressing than my other ideas, which included 'Doomed' and 'Tragic' and 'Fallen').
> 
> Sigurd being left behind in Chalphy at Arvis's advice is mentioned in _Memoirs of Velthomer_. Sigurd leaping over Ethlyn on a horse is from the Oosawa manga. The talks with Azel and Lex are based off of the ingame conversations, both the ones they have with Sigurd and their 'intro' conversations when they first appear on the map. Same for the conversations with Ethlyn and Quan. The paragraphs about Sigurd's knights are based off of the intro scene for the chapter. Aideen once being in training as a knight comes from a conversation she has with Sigurd… I want to say Game-Chapter 1, but don't quote me on that on. Palmark is an NPC that appears in Game-Chapter 10, mentioned to have served Chalphy for quite some time. And, for the sake of clarity, this chapter takes place during the game's prologue, and chapter one of _Memoirs of the Holy War_.


	2. Fairy Tale

Fairy Tale

_Aiden POV - Gran 757_

* * *

I had been in a nice room, if I had to be objective, but I wasn't inclined to be such. I supposed I should be grateful that my captor, Prince Gandolf, hadn't raped me at the first opportunity. Of course, he planned on forcing me into marriage and _then_ raping me, since I would never consent, so I wasn't sure… well, no, I really should be grateful that hadn't happened to be, even if there was a 'yet' at the end of the sentence. I was just being irritable. My 'being irritable' is actually what caused me to be taken from that objectively-nice room and thrown into the dungeons. I supposed they assumed that being down here would break me into submission or something. Though, since I had heard someone was visiting, it could have simply been to hide me. It was impossible to know; it wasn't like anyone told a prisoner anything. I had been left alone after being thrown in.

I sighed, and drew my knees further into my chest, hugging them as I struggled to not cry. I tried to focus on my lessons, the tricks a healer could use to maintain their calm, but I was so miserable that I just couldn't quite manage it. My people were suffering. My knights had perished. I was now a 'distressed damsel', which I hated. Midir was…

My breath caught in my throat at the thought of Midir. He had tried to get me to escape ahead of the assault. He had tried to convince me to run to Sigurd, so that I would be safe. But stupid me had been stubborn. I had refused to leave behind the knights dying to protect me, and I had refused to leave him. Now look at everything that had happened. My knights and Midir were _dead_ and some of them might have… Midir might have survived if he hadn't had to focus on protecting helpless me. Helpless, stupid me...

Once, I trained to be a knight. But a few years ago, I had chosen to leave to become a healer instead, believing that the path would lead me to Brigid, my twin sister, my other half. I believed that I could be a beacon of comfort to my people, and a guiding light for her. So, when it came to battle, I was all but helpless because I no longer quite remembered the training I'd been through. I had focused so much on learning how to heal, from staves to medicines, that I had no room in my head for the tricks and drills. My people paid for that selfishness. My knights and dear Midir had paid for it.

So, all I could do was cry. I had no way to escape from here. Even if I did somehow break out of this cell and slip out of the castle, I had no idea where I was, really. I didn't know Verdane's geography at all. There were no knights left in Grannvale who could stage a rescue for helpless, idiotic, pathetic me. Well, Sigurd might try, but I hoped he wouldn't. Chalphy had even less soldiers than Jungby stationed there at the moment. He'd just get himself killed. And if I caused Sigurd's death… gods, just take my life as well so that I wouldn't have to live with such guilt.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" A gentle voice made me look up, very confused at the sudden noise. It took a moment to find the source, mostly because the source was outside the tiny little window that let light and air through was high above my head. "You… probably didn't want anyone to see you crying," the person continued, smiling hesitantly. The woman, really. She was beautiful with amethyst eyes and silver hair. I half-wondered if she could be a fairy, like from those stories Ethlyn loved so much. "This is a cramped room, though."

"Well, it's not intended to be comfortable," I replied slowly, thrown out of my self-pity spiral. It was like she didn't realize this was a dungeon. "What… are you doing?"

"Oh, I sneak into the castle grounds often to pick apples from the tree near here. They're quite good and they always have far too many." She brought one up by her face to show me, and I did have to admit that it looked good. "Do you want one?"

"I… sure?" I made myself stand up and I walked under the window. It was barely large enough to slip something through. "Um…"

"Okay, here!" She reached her arm in and dropped it, giggling when I caught it. "They're very good. Always cheer me up."

"I see." Cautiously, I took a bit, and I had to admit that she was right. It was _very_ good. "I suppose my crying was loud."

"It wasn't loud, but the best apple tree is right by here." She pointed to the side to something completely out of sight. "Hey, would you like a story, miss?"

"I… yes." This was absolutely bizarre, and yet, I couldn't help but smile. "Yes, I would."

"Let's see… oh, I'll tell you my favorite."

As I ate the apple, slowly so that I could enjoy it, the woman (fairy? spirit?) told me a very beautiful story. It talked of a princess who was fair and wise, beloved by all. Yet one day, and evil sorcerer appeared, cursing the lands and threatening to kill the people if the princess was not given to him. Reluctantly, the princess gave herself up, unable to think of any other way to protect her people and so remained trapped within a tall, dark tower until the day of her forced wedding. But before that could happen, a knightly prince from a foreign land rode forth, declaring that he would defeat the sorcerer and save the princess. After countless trials, the prince did succeed, saving the princess from her tragic fate. The two were wed, properly, and they lived happily ever after. It was the normal sort of fairy tale, but there was something heartwarming about it, even though the way she told the story… she just seemed lonely. It would explain why she would talk so much with a total stranger trapped in a dungeon.

So, when she finished, I made sure to smile. "Thank you," I told her. The apple had been fully devoured, and I wiped my hands on my dress in an attempt to clean them. "Those remind me to tales from my home."

"Oh, where are you from?" she asked, almost eager. It was like she was desperate for interaction. "Is it pretty?"

"Jungby is beautiful." I smiled sadly as I thought of how much damage it had likely suffered. Yet, I couldn't help but be happy, thinking of my home. "It is very, very beautiful."

So, I told her about it. I told her of how hard our farmers worked. I babbled about how dedicated our knights were. I talked about my family and friends. I ended up focusing on Sigurd a lot. I didn't have any sad or frustrated memories associated with him, as I did with my family, and I didn't want to tell this girl anything sad. She had told me a story with a happy ending, and it didn't escape me how I could easily have been the 'princess' in the story could be me. So, I told her some of my happiest, and silliest, memories.

"I'm sure your friend will come and save you," the girl told me when I had to stop. My throat was dry and there was no water. "He sounds like the prince in my story!"

"He does, doesn't he?" I laughed, feeling a bit better. Though, Sigurd had never fit the word 'prince' to me. Perhaps it was because I associated the word with Prince Kurth, but Sigurd was too reckless, too open, to be a prince. "He's more of a knight, though."

"Your knight in shining armor?"

"...Not just mine." I closed my eyes, easily imagining him. "He's a knight of the people, driving forward with a light that pierces the fiercest of darkness." When my mother died… when my stepmother died… when Brigid disappeared on the ship… no matter what sort of tragedy hit me, big or small… always, Sigurd was right there with a smile, ready to lend me a shoulder or make me laugh, depending on what I wanted. He had actually been the first to suggest that Brigid might've survived. 'Just think of how lucky Ullur's blood is!', he had said. That had given me the hope I had needed, the hope I still hold onto. "I'm always fretting over him because he just leaps into trouble."

"Then I am definitely sure he'll come and save you." She squeaked then, and scrambled to her feet. "Ah, there's a guard, so I need to leave."

"Yes, please, stay safe!" I couldn't bear it if yet another person was hurt because of me and my selfishness. "Thank you."

"For what?" She sounded genuinely confused. "Here, I'll drop you a couple more apples."

She dropped them quickly and then escaped. I listened fearfully for any sound that would hint she had been discovered. But there was only silence. So, I prayed that she had escaped. Surely the gods would bless such a kind woman. ...They were probably cross with me for being so rude, though. I forgot to ask her name, or give her mine. So, I also prayed I would see her again, so that I could thank her a little more properly.

* * *

I remained in the dungeons for many days, though now I knew it was because Prince Jamke, Prince Gandolf's younger brother, was visiting and he feared Prince Jamke would take me away. I sighed at the thought, not looking forward to the idea of going from one forced marriage to another. Life wasn't a fairy tale, after all, where the 'princess' fell in love with her 'rescuer' and lived happily ever after with them. So, instead, I simply did my best to maintain what dignity I could hold onto. Speaking with that girl had helped me greatly with steeling my nerves. I knew I would need it, as soon as Prince Gandolf got his hands on me.

That wasn't to say my time in the dungeon was completely terrible. It was dry and clean, and a couple days after I was thrown in here, a sweet young boy by the name of Dew was thrown into the cell across from me, for stealing some trinkets from Prince Gandolf.

"So, seriously, someone needs to redecorate the entire place," Dew babbled. He would talk about the most random things, all to make me laugh. "It's all 'oh, look at me, I am a big strong warrior who thinks crying is for sissies and that my ability to kill things is special and important'. Congratulations, you have the same ability as a rock. Or a tree. Or a particularly dedicated duck."

"A duck?" I repeated, unable to keep from laughing. Dew grew up here in Marpha, so he knew the city and people well. This was also, apparently, not his first time stealing from the castle. It just happened to be the first time he was caught. I couldn't approve of stealing, or the danger he put himself in, but… "Seriously?"

"Have you not met a duck? They're vicious ba… buggers." He grinned at me, and I giggled, trying to imagine it. They always seemed so peaceful on the lakes. "That's a pretty smile! I was a bit worried. You were crying when you woke up."

"Oh, no, did I wake you?" That was embarrassing. "I'm sorry."

"No, you didn't wake me, but hey, I'd rather you did than cry alone. Is that a noble thing, thinking you should cry alone?" He crossed his legs and leaned forward as much as the bars would allow. "So, what's wrong?"

"It's… it's nothing, Dew." Still, my eyes pricked with tears. "I just dreamed of Midir."

"Midir?"

"My… my bodyguard." Midir had been officially my bodyguard for five years. I had known him for a bit longer, about seven, since Father had wanted us to get to know each other and make sure there was no conflict in personalities. I had been in love with him for six years. "He died."

"Did he?"

"I'm sure he did." I closed my eyes, tears trickling down my face as I remembered the last time I had seen him. Gandolf had ripped through him, and still, Midir had tried to reach me. Bleeding profusely, he had tried to stand and grab me as Gandolf dragged me away, before collapsing in a pool of his own blood. Even then, he had reached for me. The sight of his hand falling to the ground, coated in his own blood, haunted my nightmares. "Those wounds…"

"But did you see the body? Did you check for his pulse?" Dew smiled warmly, as bright as the sun. It was, honestly, almost as bright as Sigurd's smile. "If such a nice lady like you cares so much about him, then I'm sure he's still alive. Won't leave you behind to cry and all."

"That's… that's sweet of you to say." But I was a healer, and I knew Father had taken the most skilled healers with him. There was supposed to be a skilled one in town, but skilled enough to save Midir? Perhaps if she had Vala blood or something to boost her magical strength, but the thought was ridiculous. Things wouldn't be that convenient. This wasn't a story, where everything _had_ to make sense and go 'right'. "I suppose it won't matter anyway. Once Prince Gandolf…"

"Man, I wish I had a better angle. I'd pick these locks easy and get you out of here." Dew scowled and then tilted his head. "Oh, lovely. People."

"Oh?" I moved closer to the bars and peered down the hall to see Dew was correct. Perhaps more importantly, it was a young man I didn't know, wearing a bandana and leather armor that was deceptive in how good it was. I only recognized its quality because it was an archer's armor, and despite not using one, I _was_ of Jungby. But the quality just meant this was someone very high up… "Uh oh." That meant trouble. So, I quickly pushed myself as far back into the darkest corner as I could, hoping that perhaps the man wouldn't see me.

It was, of course, a fool's hope. The man walked right up to my cell, ignoring Dew completely, and looked right at me. He studied me closely before holding up a set of keys. "Well, miss, you have two options," he explained. "You can marry my brother in two hours or you can escape. Which would you like?"

"Pardon?" I asked, startled. That… hadn't been what I expected. "And who, exactly, are you to even offer such a choice?"

"Jamke." ...He was Prince Gandolf's youngest brother? Clearly, he took after a different parent than Prince Gandolf. "So?"

"I…" I almost leapt at the chance, but I looked past him at Dew. Dew grinned and mouthed 'go on! Get away!', but that only steeled my resolve. "I won't leave without Dew."

"Who?"

"Dew." I pointed to Dew, and was amused by his stunned look. "He's my friend, and I do not know the layout of the land at all. I will need help even after leaving the castle grounds."

"That… all right, fine." Prince Jamke sighed, but unlocked us both. "Okay, thief-boy. You'll escort her east, okay?"

"East?" Dew repeated, jumping to his feet. After a split-second of thought, he snapped his fingers and nodded. "Oh, right, there were rumors about some Sigurd fellow leading an army from that direction. I heard something about him trying to save a friend? Which is ridiculous, but you know..."

All sound washed away at the name. Sigurd. Sigurd was leading an army. He was leading an army to save me. It was one of the most reckless things he'd ever done, right up there with running into a burning building to save Ethlyn and Lachesis, and I was so, _so_ angry at him. Yet I was also so, so _relieved_ because he really was coming to help me, just like that girl had said. I was happy because if we made it, I'd get to see my best friend again, and I'd get to cry on his shoulder about the living hell that this has been, and about Midir.

It was only after that rush of emotion that I started paying attention again, just as Prince Jamke was sighing. "Yes, yes, and this Sigurd is strong," he noted, his tone somewhere between admiring and irritated. "He's killed one of my brothers and is apparently marching on Genoa as we speak. If he hasn't already taken it." I wondered how Sigurd managed that. He had only three knights with him, last that I recalled. "So…"

"Prince Jamke, can you not speak to your father or your brothers?" I asked, looking at him as beseechingly as I could. It was rude to interrupt, but if Sigurd truly was near, then… "I promise Sigurd will gladly hear any peace talk."

"That's a bold thing to promise," Prince Jamke replied, turning to focus on me. Dew winked, grinning about something. "Not something to lightly-"

"Sigurd is my best friend. I have known him all of my life. He is reckless, foolish, passionate, yet he is also the kindest and gentlest person I have _ever_ met." I half-glared, annoyed at the (unintentional) insult at Sigurd. "So, I know that Sigurd will work through any peace talks. He's only fighting because I'm here. So, if you can convince your family and army to stand down, I know this will end quickly and quietly."

"...Wait, so we really are dealing with a man who's fighting a _war_ , and winning, to…" Prince Jamke looked so confused before sighing again. "I yield to you. But first, we need to actually get you out of here. Dew, you can help by listening and scouting ahead."

"Thank you!" I smiled as brightly as I could, relieved. I also had to keep from laughing at how much of a 'fairy tale ending' this became. "Let's go, Dew!" The 'princess' would be rescued after all.

I really hoped I could meet that girl again, so that I could tell her she was right. I'd like to thank her with tea and sweets, and talk a little more. It would be fun.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, here's Aideen's POV mostly during the events of Game-Chapter 1 (Chapters… we'll say between Chapters 2 and 3 in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ or thereabouts). I mentioned in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ that Aideen had a brief encounter with Deirdre, so I thought it would be fun to show that, as well as the start of her friendship with Dew. Dew cheering Aideen up is inspired by a similar scene in the Fujimori manga, as is Aideen being in a 'nice room' before being thrown into the dungeons.


	3. Songs of War

Songs of War

_Quan POV - Gran 757_

* * *

There was a saying in Manster District, derived from the 'Tale of Diarmuid'. 'When the songs of war ring out, the winds shall be heavy.' It was part of a well-known speech, one that many of Leonster could recite by heart. 'When the songs of war ring out, the winds shall be heavy. Heavy with the souls of the dead. Heavy with the dreams of the fallen. Heavy with the screams of the living. Yet the wind shall carry its burden stoically, as it always will, to lead the songs of war away and let peace reign again.' It was said by the hero Diarmuid right before the final battle, as a means of steeling his resolve. It was one of my favorite parts of the story, and often, I would whisper the full speech before riding out to battle as a means of reassuring myself. Leonster was constantly fighting, but with luck, the songs of war would fade and the Thracian peninsula would be unified. It was my dream to make that happen, to help that happen in some small way.

But today, I didn't whisper the speech before I battled. Instead, I whispered it as I watched farmers train to be soldiers, all too aware that they had absolutely no idea what they were getting into. None at all.

Grannvale… I wouldn't say it was _peaceful_ , but its battles were more often fought with words and manipulations than actual blades. Aside from the occasional bandit attack, most of its people never saw fighting. Eldigan and I once talked about it, noting that Grannvale 'fought' nature more than it 'fought' man. It was so abnormal to both of us. Leonster, of course, fought Thracia near constantly and Agustria, being a country of warlords held together only through oaths of loyalty to the line of Hezul, frequently had territorial disputes. As such, we were exposed to warfare and the whole 'political manipulations' thing was foreign to us. Perhaps that was why the two of us bonded so easily with Sigurd, who was too straightforward to play such games. Then again, that could've just been because of how Sigurd was a force of nature and always had been.

Sigurd and I had been friends ever since our first year at the military academy in Belhalla. I had insisted on attending, to learn foreign tactics in the hopes of it helping our people in the constant battles against Thracia. So, when I had arrived, I'd been very serious, not inclined to make friends and uncaring at what they thought about me. If anything, I had hated them for taking things so lightly, so I had ignored their insults and refused to acknowledge their shunning and their bullying.

But Sigurd had. Sigurd had noticed, and Sigurd had been offended on my behalf. So, he had devised a counter-attack which went… slightly out of control. So he'd grabbed me and run, laughing all the while. He'd dragged me all the way to the market, and showed me around, happily greeting people by name. He had been unlike anyone or anything I had ever seen before. It was almost like he was light itself, incarnated in a human form to experience and enjoy life. That day, I had assumed it would be a one day thing, just a whim he'd had and would discard before long. But that hadn't happened. Sigurd had sought my company out often after that day, and soon, dragged Eldigan into our group. From then on, we were a trio, inseparable, and I learned what it actually _meant_ to be happy. I learned what it meant to have fun. I truly learned, thanks to Sigurd, just what kind of life I wanted my people to experience.

That friendship was everything for me. I would protect it, and my friends, with everything I had, and do all that I could for both of them. Which was why I was all the way up here, getting involved in another country's war, training farmers into soldiers.

Suddenly, something pulled my arm, and my thoughts, and when I turned to look, I found myself drawn into a very warm, very sweet kiss. Literally sweet.

"Did you just eat some candy or something, darling?" I asked, amused once I processed what my wife had done. Ethlyn smiled and licked her lips, giggling. "You did."

"Are you complaining?" she asked, still giggling. She clasped her hands behind her back and gently bumped her shoulder against me. "You were being all scowly. I thought I'd cheer you up. Did it work?"

"You _always_ cheer me up." I smiled softly at her, relaxing automatically. Her presence had always been a balm to my spirit, especially as we both got older. "I would've thought you'd be bothering Sigurd, though. It's been a while since you got to annoy him."

"Sigurd is too happy to see me to be bothered!" She sulked for half of a second before giggling, beaming. She and Sigurd were very close, though I had been told that they once hadn't. I couldn't imagine it, really. For all that I have known them, they had been practically the ideal siblings. "So, I thought I would check in on you! A good thing too. I think you're scaring the recruits with your scowly-scowl."

"Once again, you remind me of how blessed I am to have you as my wife." I caressed her cheek, playing with the strands of hair by her face, and grinned at her blush. "How are you holding up?"

"Quan, you know I'm no fragile flower." She held my hand against her face with both of hers, and I was struck by how small she was. Thanks to her vibrant personality, she often came off as larger than she was. "I mean; I survived a pregnancy. Bring on a war. I'm ready."

"I'll take your word for that." I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose, just to hear her squeak. "But you're making me fall for you all over again with lines like that."

"Good. Because I fall in love with you again and again every day." She said the words easily, and laughed when I immediately looked away in a desperate attempt to hide my blush. "You are _so_ easy to tease."

"Don't you have others to try and embarrass?"

"Mmm… no, but I did want to visit the villages with Alicia, so I think I shall go bug her!" She hopped up to kiss me again and skipped off, winking at me over her shoulder. I smiled softly at her, watching her leave, and then attempted to be serious again so that I could properly train these farmers.

However, that was when I noticed Finn standing nearby, patiently waiting for me to acknowledge him. My squire… Finn wasn't the typical squire by any means. For one thing, the Prince of Leonster didn't normally take squires. For another, Finn was a commoner and the rules were clear. Knights were nobility, training since childhood as pages, and commoners became soldiers, beginning their training at age fifteen. Each year, we had a new batch of recruits, and normally, I paid no attention to the new faces on the castle's grounds. However, on a whim, I decided to watch the soldiers' first practice session, and almost immediately, Finn caught my eye. And held it.

It wasn't necessarily his fighting or anything. He had a natural talent to be certain, but that alone wouldn't have held my attention. Many in Leonster had a natural talent, and truthfully, the 'normal' thing to have done was recommend he apprentice to a similarly skilled soldier, like Xavier. However, his stance, his bearing… the spark in his eyes… all of it had reminded me of Sigurd and Eldigan. Someone with the heart and spirit of a knight, someone who would protect people with everything he had… _that_ had held my attention, and before I could think twice, I asked if he wanted to train as a knight instead. I had to fight so many to make it happen, even my father, but I had no regrets at all about it. Given a few more years, and a bit more experience, and Finn would likely become the greatest of Leonster's knights. And, on a personal level, Finn's presence brought me joy and gave Ethlyn comfort.

Of course, dragging him all the way out here was a gamble. Dorias had asked why I was doing so, and offered to train Finn for me if teacher-obligation was the only reason. It was highly atypical for a squire to leave Leonster's borders; it wasn't typical for Leonster knights to _leave_ at all. But I had multiple reasons, really. Chief among them… well, Finn was always alone. In terms of friends, he had Glade, the son of a duke, and Selfina, Dorias's daughter. In terms of family, he had Ethlyn, Altena, and myself. And that was it. But I knew any army Sigurd gathered would be friendly. I knew any army Sigurd lead would welcome people, and let them not be alone. So, I hoped Finn would find more friends here, and so far, I had been right. He and Oifeye bonded well, and I had frequently seen Sigurd's personal knights (Naoise, Alec, and Arden) drag both squires into their antics, answering their questions with easy cheer. Finn smiled more as well.

"You asked to see me, my lord?" Though, Finn wasn't smiling now. He regarded me with an impassive expression, similar to the expression he'd had when I first made my offer. "I apologize for being late," he murmured, bowing slightly. "I was helping Miss Alicia clean the infirmary."

"Again?" I asked, a bit startled. It seemed like she cleaned every morning. That is, when she wasn't mending or making medicines. It was almost like she looked for excuses to not interact with people. "Really?"

"It is _very_ important to keep the infirmary clean, my lord." Finn looked up at me seriously. "The healers in Leonster were the same."

"That's what I get for not paying attention." My personal philosophy with healers tended to just let them do what they wanted. Though I did make stupid comments in front of them once or twice. Or more. "Ah, no matter, I wanted to apologize for dragging you into this, Finn."

"Whatever do you mean?" He frowned, genuinely confused. It did make me feel a bit better, since I did feel bad about taking a gamble, even if it seemed to be working. "I am but your humble servant, my lord. I go where you will."

"Thank you, Finn." I smiled at him, relaxing. If I had heard the words from anyone else, I might've rolled my eyes, but it was just another similarity he had with Sigurd and Eldigan. Being able to say such things with a gentle sincerity and be believed. "It's a relief to hear that."

"I am honored by your confidence, my lord." Finn hesitated a bit and looked down. "Though I doubt I'll be of use to you."

"You've already been quite helpful." Still, I had to fight off a laugh, because this was just like Finn as well. He was humble to a flaw, truly. I hoped that his time with this army would also help him find his confidence. "If you're truly so worried, though, we can scale up your practice sessions. For now, will you help me turn these villagers into soldiers?"

"Of course, my lord." Finn bowed and immediately headed over to one villager in particular, helping them with their grip. I smiled, and closed my eyes, whispering the speech again to settle my nerves and steel my resolve.

I wondered how many of these villagers would be alive when the songs of war faded away. Sadly, I knew we'd find out long before I wanted.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Have a Quan. Timeline-wise, this is set between the 'Prologue' and 'Game-Chapter one in FE4, during 'Interlude - Evans' in _Memoirs of the Holy War_. Finn's past was briefly mentioned in his oneshot in _Memoirs of the Lost_. How Quan met Sigurd is briefly mentioned in Chapter 3 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_. Finn and Quan's conversation is based on their convo in Game-Chapter 1, which gives Finn some boosts to his stats (+1 to str, skl, and def iirc). The whole 'Tale of Diarmuid' thing is something I made up and mentioned in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ for fun.


	4. Lions

Lions

_Ethlyn POV - Gran 757_

* * *

When the scouts told me there were visitors, I wasn't sure who exactly I was expecting. I suppose messengers from Belhalla, again, and sent the scouts to fetch Sigurd and Quan while I went to the main hall to play hostess. But, to my joy, I was wrong. The visitors weren't anyone so… stuffy. They were Lachesis and Eldigan, who I hadn't seen since my wedding and who I had missed _terribly_.

"Ethlyn!" Eldigan was the first to reach me, thanks to his longer stride, and he picked me up and spun me in a hug, making me laugh. He had first done it when we were children, to demonstrate Hezul's strength when I'd asked, and now, it was a running joke. "What a wonderful surprise to see you," he continued, setting me down. He studied me with a soft smile, nodding. "You look well."

"So do you!" I laughed, giving him another hug. And he did. Fatherhood seemed to suit him as much as it suited Quan, and taking over Nordion hadn't hurt his health too much. I was glad, since Agustria's political climate was turbulent even in the best of times. "I forgot Nordion was so close to the Verdanite border."

"Indeed it is…" Eldigan's expression became conflicted, but it soon softened for fondness instead. "Ah, but I'd better get out of the way before Lachesis shoves me."

"I love hugging people I love, and anyone who gets in my way gets removed!" Lachesis laughed, popping out from behind Eldigan. I had to blink a few times to keep from being dazzled; Lachesis had always been easily one of the most beautiful women I had ever known and this past year had just made her more so. "Even you, Eldigan!" Lachesis kept on giggling and hugged me tightly. A bit too tightly, truthfully, but Lachesis was always a bit overly enthusiastic with her hugs. Always had been. "Oh, Ethlyn, I've missed you _soooo_ much!"

"I've missed you too!" I replied, hugging her back. I noted, with delight, that she was wearing the dress I'd sent her for her birthday. "A year is much too long."

"It really is." Lachesis pulled away, beaming. I glanced to the side, wondering where Sigurd and Quan were. "I didn't expect to see you here. We're a long way from Leonster."

"We are." However, my brother needed my help. So, here I was. Because Sigurd always raced to help _me_. Always.

Not that, of course, I believed that when I was really young. When Sigurd and I were itty-bitty little, Sigurd never showed any affection. Trying to be like Father, who was so-often stoic, but forgetting the soft moments that let tiny-me understand that he really did care. We also argued often, and… one day, when I was five and Sigurd was eleven, it was bad. I couldn't even remember what it was about, but I had screamed at him, said I'd hated him, and ran off in tears. And, because I had been so young, I hadn't paid attention to where I was going, and ended up far outside of the castle. Worse, I ended up falling down some gap or something, too far below to climb up and trapped by the fast-moving river with jagged rocks.

I had tried to get myself out, of course. But I had only succeeded in getting soaked, bruised, scraped, and covered in mud. So, I had hidden, sniffling, wondering how I was going to get home. Wondering if I'd be trapped there forever, especially as the hours crawled by and the sun slowly began setting. But then I'd heard someone shouting my name. I had shouted back, and was surprised to see Sigurd lean over the edge above, blood trickling down his face from a scrape. He told me to stay right where I was, that he'd be right there, and disappeared briefly. Only to reappear in the actual river with far too sharp rocks, wading his way over to me despite how battered his legs were getting. Of course, looking back, it could just have been that he didn't notice. His hands and arms had been covered in scratches and scrapes, his legs had already been bruised, and he was scuffed up with dirt. I knew, even back then, that he'd been searching desperately for me.

I had cried and he had hugged me before getting me up on his back and carrying me back to the castle, where our parents were beside themselves with worry. That was the first time I realized how much Sigurd cared about me, but it wasn't the last. After that incident, Sigurd was much more open in how much he loved me, and our relationship improved significantly. But that incident wasn't the last time he'd saved me, helped me. From reassuring me that a snake that bit me wasn't poisonous to rushing into a burning building because he knew I was stuck inside… he had always been there for me. So, how could I do anything less now? I loved him just as much as he loved me, after all. Though, I did miss Altena terribly. Once things calmed down a bit, I'd have to send for her so that Sigurd could meet her.

"Eldigan!" During my reminiscing, Sigurd and Quan finally arrived, and immediately rushed over to greet Eldigan with warm hugs. Lachesis and I stepped off to the side, partly because Lachesis wanted to ambush them later with hugs, and partly so that we could gossip without anyone noticing.

However, I quickly noticed they weren't the only ones who had arrived. Finn was here and, surprisingly, so was Alicia. I half-wondered who got her out and how, since Alicia really only left the infirmary when you dragged her out. Literally.

"Oh, who's the cute one over there?" Lachesis asked, poking my shoulder. She was looking right at Finn and Alicia. "Well, both are cute. But the one who is more adorable-cute, not 'I am made of ice' cute."

"Sad that I know exactly who is who with just that," I muttered, smiling. They were accurate descriptions. "Why?"

"Because he is cute, and I like admiring, even though I'm certain he won't meet my standards."

"You set your standards near impossibly high." Of course, I couldn't talk, since my own standards were high. It was just that Quan exceeded every single one~! "Still, I'm not so sure you should write him off."

"Oh?" Lachesis raised an eyebrow, intrigued. Nearby, I noticed Eldigan, Sigurd, and Quan had become serious about something. "Well, well… now I _really_ want to know who he is. But I suppose that can wait." She grinned. "Tell me about Altena! Life in Leonster! Life as a newlywed~!"

"Lachesis!" I laughed, though, and began answering her questions. After all, I had missed the two 'lions' of our very extended family forged from bonds and blood. There was so much to catch up on.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: I warned you all that these chars' stories weren't done. Anyway, have an Ethlyn. I wanted to focus on the friendships here, especially since Eldigan's friendship with Sigurd and Quan plays a bit of a role in the main plot. Timeline wise, this is Ethlyn's pov of the opening scene in Chapter 3 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_.   
>  Oh, and I mentioned this before, but seriously, if you've got a suggestion, go ahead and say something. ^^ While I've an idea of what I want to write for these one shots (to the point that I have a list all the way through Game-Chapter 2 written down), there's likely a lot to cover.


	5. Soothe

Soothe

_Azel POV - Gran 757_

* * *

"Thank you, Sir Midir," I mumbled, doing my best to not trip. I was still a little woozy from overworking, even after the ride back to Evans Castle. Though, being the passenger on the ride hadn't helped either. It wasn't as bad as a carriage, of course, but it was still enough to make my stomach turn. "Sorry for this."

"It's not like I would've been much help without arrows," Sir Midir reassured, supporting my back without the slightest bit of hesitation. He was a very kind and gentle person. I hadn't known that, since I'd just seen him as Lady Aideen's stoic bodyguard in the past. "We should go to the infirmary to get you checked. You used quite a bit of magic."

"Mmm… okay…" I didn't want to bother Alicia when she was no doubt busy, but I also couldn't pass up the easy excuse to see her. "I was helpful, though, right?"

"Extremely."

"Good…" I couldn't help but smile. It was childish to seek such validation, but it was just so… so _nice_ to be able to help…

Back in Velthomer, I was just a burden. I couldn't really do anything to help out Arvis at all. Arvis had to rule Velthomer and manage the Royal Guard, and I just stood on the side, helpless while he overworked. It was how it had always been, really. Often, it terrified me, just how serious and focused he could be. It really made me feel like I was weighing him down. Then, of course, there was how he was always alone. And I hated that. He had exactly one friend, Aida, and Arvis always claimed it was enough, but I… even I had more than one friend. And I was useless. Though if I said that, Lex and Tailtiu would immediately scold me. I could even imagine the lectures easily…

"I wonder where Sir Finn is," Sir Midir murmured, looking around curiously. Drawn out of my meandering thoughts, I looked around as well, noticing how empty everything felt. There were people, sure, but… not as many as I would've thought. "He did come back before us, yes?"

"He did," I confirmed, now a bit uneasy. As I listened, I thought I heard screams and sobbing echoing down the hall, but that had to be my imagination. "He pulled a muscle, and opted to fall back instead of push forward and sustain a worse injury." I would've thought he'd be patrolling or something, and therefore come to greet us, but… "Also, am I hallucinating the noise?"

"No." Sir Midir's eyes were grim. "No, we're just near the infirmary."

"Why would that noise have anything to do with…?"

Then we reached the infirmary, and I understood. The sounds were from all the wounded. Blood was everywhere, saturating the towels put down. The dead were piled in another room, only somewhat neat. The conscious were sobbing from pain, begging for something to knock them out. The unconscious laid limply, like ragdolls. Every single bed was occupied, and there were places set up on the floor for more.

In a haze, I looked for people _not_ hurt, and found Lady Lachesis and Sir Finn in the back corner. Lady Lachesis held down a screaming, sobbing patient and I wondered why, until I saw Sir Finn was sawing off their arm. Both of them were coated in blood, and there was a bin by Sir Finn's feet that already had other limbs inside, from other amputations. I quickly looked away, stomach turning, and I found Alicia by a bed, stitching up someone's insides with a calm that felt almost unnatural given the noise and sight.

"There we go," Alicia murmured, smiling gently at the person. For a second, I feared they were awake, but no, it was just an automatic response. "Now to…" She reached for something, but then shook her head. "Drat. Lady Lachesis? Sir Finn? I need another healing staff." However, since Sir Finn and Lady lachesis were still in the middle of amputating the screaming soldier's arm (and gods above and below, why weren't they unconscious?! Why not give them something for the pain?!), Sir Midir fetched the staff for her. "Ah, thank you, Sir Midir." She began healing up the soldier's outsides, glancing up briefly to see me standing there awkwardly. I had seen the infirmary in the church, briefly, but this went far… far, far beyond… "Azel, can you fetch some fresh bandages for me?"

Automatically, I did as she asked, just because what else was I supposed to do? Sir Midir helped as well, and Alicia gave us orders as if we had been there the entire time. When Lady Lachesis and Sir Finn were finally done, they got another soldier who needed an amputation. However, that one ended up dying on the table, from what I saw. Lady Lachesis looked ready to cry, and Sir Finn grimaced, but Alicia simply had the body moved and another one was given. _That_ one I cauterized the wound for, using the power I inherited from Vala to do so. It was messy and smelled horrible, but it at least kept them from bleeding out. Or something. I wasn't sure. After a while, everything just blended together.

But, eventually, things settled down. Sir Midir went on a patrol, and I began mopping up the blood that had pooled on the floor. I thought about asking Sir Finn or Lady Lachesis for help, but both had passed out on the corner, leaning on each other as they slept. Alicia, of course, went around checking all the patients again before she regarded the two nappers. Wearing a fond smile, she draped a blanket over both of them and then turned to me. I tried to not bounce when her smile softened even further.

"I love spending time with you, little brother," she murmured then. As before, she was a beacon of serenity in the middle of the mess. "But I am confused

"Are you, Lady Sister? I didn't notice," I replied honestly. I was too exhausted by this point to even think about lying. "Sir Sigurd's strategy…"

With that, I rambled about the strategy and my part in it. Alicia began fretting, both over how I was and how close I possibly got to accidentally using a Final Strike. But as we talked, I felt quite a bit of my exhaustion lift away. I was still tired as all hell, but it didn't feel quite as overwhelming. Arvis had always told me that Alicia was soothing to be around, like a warm fire during a cold night. I could see what he meant, though he never mentioned how she held herself apart. Then again, Arvis was also like that, so he probably just didn't notice. Rather like he didn't notice how he could never describe people, because he was so used to people disappearing that he never bothered to remember anymore.

I thought about asking her about it, wondering if she tried to project such a presence on purpose, but then Sir Midir appeared, stating that there were civilians being chased by soldiers. So, of course, we went after them, with Alicia trailing behind. Outside, I saw the two civilians were a young boy and Lady Aideen, and I couldn't help but be ecstatic. So, I fought the enemies alongside the other soldiers, showing off a little bit on accident, and then eagerly headed for where everyone was grouping up so that I could talk to her. However, I only got there in time to see Lady Aideen throw herself at Sir Midir, sobbing. I felt frozen as I watched her cry, watched as Sir Midir wiped away the tears, watched as Lady Aideen hugged him again and, this time, he hugged her back…

I winced, feeling like my heart had just been ripped out of my chest. I knew I shouldn't be surprised. Lady Aideen was… she was amazing, really. Like a goddess, or a muse… and goddesses and muses didn't get with 'normal' people, much less people like me. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't be _angry_ or anything. I mean… maybe in a different life, I'd be the one who greeted and talked to her. Maybe in a different life, that conversation would spark more and more, and she'd fall in love with me. But this wasn't a 'different life'. It was 'this life', and I loved it. And I loved that she was safe and happy. Even if my heart ached so much that I half-thought I'd need a healing staff to make it better.

While I tried to figure out how to react, Alicia hesitantly reached out to me. I took the offered hug, and when I started crying, she ran her hand through my hair to soothe me. She didn't say a word, just quietly comforted me and continued to project that soothing presence that just made everything feel… feel like everything would be okay. I'd have to figure out a way to thank her for that.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: And here's an Azel. This takes place during chapter 3 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_ , and I wanted to showcase Azel's emotions at seeing Aideen again, and having it definitely shown that she won't return his feelings (I think both mangas also addressed it). Azel actually has a talk with Aideen here that boosts their love points, but it's mutually exclusive with Midir's own talk.


	6. Shining Star

Shining Star

_Ayra POV - Gran 757_

* * *

This was… well, it wasn't the worst. Unless you wanted to add it to the hell that was my life right now. That… that bastard Neria married killing innocent people in Darna… and then Grannvale just killing Father… now here I was, far from my home, in exile, under guard because I had stupidly let myself be baited away from the castle. My weapon had been confiscated, and there were too many for me to try and brute-force my way through all the knights and soldiers. Meaning all I could do was sit here, glaring, hunting for some sort of weakness that I could exploit to rush to Shanan's side and get him out of here. Marricle would be so disappointed in me. And the less I thought about Father's reaction, the better.

Ah, I should've run to Agustria. Or Thracia. Or even Miletos. But I had wanted to get as far away from Isaach, and the war, as possible, and Verdane was it, being in the southwest while Isaach was in the northeast. And after weeks hiding in a caravan under blankets and other bits of cargo (thanks to sympathetic merchants helping smuggle us through Yied and into Grannvale), the idea of trees and fresh air had been lovely. And while Verdane had a peace treaty with Grannvale, their king had been known as peaceful. I had thought we could hide. But I was wrong. We had arrived here within days of the first attack, and because we hadn't known of the tensions, I had been too relaxed and Shanan had been captured by Kinbaith, forcing me to work for him. Now, Kinbaith was dead, good riddance, but now I was captured by _Grannvale knights_. It was like I had jumped out of a burning building, only to fall into hell itself.

I shook my head and looked around again, wondering if there was a weakness _now_ , since it had been… I wasn't even sure how long it had been. I knew people had infiltrated the castle before it officially fell. Was Shanan even here? Had he been shipped off to Grannvale as a hostage? Had he been killed? Marricle asked one thing of me, _one thing_ , and I couldn't manage it. Couldn't save Rivough, couldn't save Galzus, couldn't save Father, couldn't save Marricle, couldn't keep Shanan safe, couldn't keep _Isaach_ safe… gods, how Odo must be rolling in his grave at having a descendant like me… and how the Fairy of the Skies must weep to have blessed the royal line with Astra. I couldn't even _use_ it against that green-haired knight!

Reminded of the fight, I twisted to glare at the two knights being tended by a pink-haired girl not far from me. The green-haired one with a towel wrapped around his head who had somehow disrupted all my attempts to use Astra, and the obnoxious blue-haired one who was arrogant enough to fight a sword with a damn axe… the ones who successfully baited me... I had almost gotten the blue-haired one's head, but he'd somehow blocked it with his arm and then began taunting me. Which, of course, just led me to be further and further baited… gods, I hated him. I hated both of them. Mostly because I couldn't hate myself more if I tried and that was my only other option.

Growling to myself, I glared at them one more time, just to please my own ego, and glanced around again, hoping that there was some sort of weakness _this_ time. I got a bit hopeful when I saw a commotion near the entrance, but quickly dismissed it when I saw it was just someone arriving. Two people, a person I couldn't see well and a lady with deep-red hair, wearing a dress startlingly simple compared to everyone else's garb. A young boy wearing green and a startlingly solemn expression for his youthful face… he met her by the horse and quickly led her inside the castle, too fast for me to even think about studying either more.

"Your turn!" And then I had the girl with pink-hair and far too much energy right in my face. My life was complete. "Let's get you healed up!" she laughed, smiling brightly. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and moved away as far as I could. "Hmm? What's wrong?"

"I'm your enemy!" I spat at her, venom creeping into it. I had just been trying to kill her comrades. Her comrades had tried to kill me. Her country was _slaughtering my people_ right now! "The hell are you doing?"

"Er… making sure you don't have internal bleeding?" She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. "You were captured, you're a prisoner, and so, I need to make sure you don't die."

"If you want information, get from somewhere else because I won't know anything you want to know." I bristled at the word 'prisoner'. It just reminded me all too well just how bad my predicament was. "Where's Shanan?"

"Who?" She sighed, shaking her head. "Quan? Lex? Can you two help me?"

"Don't touch me!" Seeing the blue-haired knight moving towards me, as well as a man with brown hair, I tried to get up, but couldn't. My legs hurt. I had overdone it, trying to keep up with damn horses. I'd been played so easily, damn it all, and now… and now…! "I refuse your healing, you-!"

"Ethlyn, are you being pushy again?" A gentle voice chided the pink-haired girl, and all three turned to face the… well, he had blue hair, but a different shade of blue, and he wore white and had a sword at his hip. "You do have a bad habit of 'I am doing what is best and I won't explain it to you'," he teased, smiling at the girl. The girl smiled back sheepishly. "What is the issue?"

"Well, she's no doubt got muscle strain and it looked like she had a hard fall when Lex knocked her off her feet," the pink-haired girl explained. I glared, remembering that. I had sincerely thought I'd spit up blood from the blow, especially since he'd gotten my unarmored abdomen. "And since last time Lex did that, the person was puking blood…" She sighed. "I suppose I should've explained before asking for help. I'm tired."

"And you're always cranky and bossy when tired. Well, you're always bossy." The man in white grinned and the girl swatted at his shoulder. My heart keened because it reminded me of how I was with Marricle and Neria, before Neria died years ago and before Marricle... "But I'm being rude." He turned to face me, back to smiling warmly. Startling warm. "You are Ayra, yes?" I froze, wondering how he knew my name. "I am Sigurd, the leader of this army. I'm assuming you're worried about your nephew?" The words made me freeze again, this time for an entirely different reason. Shanan. He knew Shanan. He had Shanan. "He's being treated right now by Miss Alicia."

"How can I trust that?!" I immediately snapped, all my rage and desperation bleeding through. It was embarrassing, really. I should keep calm. You had to be calm, and skillful, to call upon Astra's power. Father was always scolding me for my anger. "After _everything_ …!" Even worse was the pricking and burning in my eyes. I refused to cry in front of these people, but everything was just too much! Why was this happening to my family, my people? What did we _do_?!

"You've clearly been through a trying time." And the man in white just let me yell. When I looked at the others, the pink-haired girl and brown-haired man both seemed fondly exasperated. The obnoxious blue-haired one facepalmed. "Let's see… ah, I know!" Then the man-in-white did something completely and utterly unexpected. He unbuckled his own sword from his belt and handed it to me. "Here, you can hold onto this." All of my own thoughts stopped. Again. Giving me a weapon… when he had no idea if I was friend or foe…? Not only that, but giving me his _own_ weapon, leaving him unarmed? Even if he was surrounded by friends, I was fast. I was desperate. What sort of naive idiot was this man? How had he won so many victories with a mentality like this? "Does that help?"

"Well, now I'm wondering how many times you were dropped on your head as a child!" The sword had a good weight. I popped it out of the sheathe briefly and saw it was a silver sword. Expensive, even for a noble. "I could kill you, you know."

"You can. However, I'd rather choose to be kind and to trust. The world has enough cruelty." He still continued to smile. Maybe he was insane. "If you're feeling better, though, I'd like to make sure Miss Alicia has everything she needs for your nephew and reassure him that you are, in fact, alive and well. My bossy sister here will tend to you. She only _seems_ mean and bratty."

And then he left. He just freaking left. And while that could've been to avoid the pink-haired girl's protests, I was so startled by it all that I ended up holding still as the pink-haired girl tending to me, laughing and chatting with the nearby soldiers. I clutched the sword tightly, debating. I had to get Shanan. I had to protect Shanan. I could kill the people here. Get to him. Escape. I could. Yet, at the very thought, what was left of my pride keened and what remained of my honor screamed. I had damaged both already. It wouldn't take much more to shatter them. To protect Shanan… I could… I should… and yet, I couldn't. I wouldn't. Because my honor and pride were intrinsic parts of me, and how could I protect Shanan if I lost myself? Besides, it wasn't some random, strong, pragmatic swordsman who Marricle entrusted. It was _me_. For whatever reason.

"Alicia," I whispered. The pink-haired girl jumped at my voice; I'd startled her. "Who is this Alicia?"

"She's the chief healer for the army!" the pink-haired girl explained with a bright smile and peppy voice. She was entirely too cheerful. "She's better trained than me, and more like a healer-healer. You'll meet her later and she'll be very visible since she's got red hair and all. You're all clear, by the way, so-"

Those were the magic words. I tossed the silver sword at her and rushed off, pushing straight through the soldiers as I made my way inside the castle. I found that young solemn boy from before and demanded to know where Shanan was. The boy looked at me in confusion, but upon confirming my identity as 'Ayra', he directed me to where 'Lord Sigurd' and 'Miss Alicia' were. And as soon as I learned, I turned the air blue with the most vile and vicious curses I could think of, straight from the little old women who gossiped in the market. Because Shanan was in the dungeons. _The dungeons_. Marricle entrusted Shanan's safety to me, and where did I get him? A damn dungeon! I _told_ him I was the worst person for the job, damn it!

I jumped down the steps, nearly falling flat on my face when I caught the edge of one, but managing to catch myself in time. From there, I ran again, this time hunting for a cell that was occupied. A handy torch down the way gave me a clue as to where they were, and when I swung around that corner and into the cell itself, I saw that I was right. I also saw a few other things. One, there was blood. Two, Shanan had been crying. Three, Shanan are horribly thin. Four, his Holy Mark was visible. But I would deal with the last two at a later time. Instead, I fell to my knees, hard enough to bruise, and pulled him into my arms, reassuring myself that he was still here, still alive. Almost immediately, he began crying again, and I struggled to think of what to do. I didn't really know what to do when people cried, except hold them, and I didn't know how to make anything of this situation. How did I fix it? How did I protect him? I had no idea. I was lost. I wanted to go home. I wanted my father back. I wanted my brother. I wanted them to hug me and tell me things would be okay, like when Sophara fell and Holyn was lost along with his family.

But that would never happen again. Father was dead. Marricle would be dead before long. As far as I knew, Shanan and I were the last members of Isaach's royal family, _and_ the last of Odo's lineage. We only had each other. And I couldn't take care of him. But a quick check of Shanan's injuries showed that he had been tended to with care. So, I glanced back at the other two, seeing them in conversation. And, then I turned to face them fully, because if they had done this much… and if this man really was so insane… then maybe, just maybe...

"My name is Ayra," I began, speaking as clearly as I could. I would not show my fear. I would _not_. "I am Shanan's aunt, Minor Odo." I almost winced at the phrasing, because it sounded like 'Minor Odo' was my name, but neither reacted. They both just watched me closely. "What do you plan on doing with us?"

"My plan is to either grant you sanctuary among my army, or to help you to a place you believe is safe, Princess Ayra," Sigurd answered without a single moment of hesitation. He even bowed respectfully to me. "Whichever you wish."

"Is that so?" I couldn't believe it. After everything I had suffered, everything my people and my family had suffered… it was hard to believe it. Yet there was something unbelievable about the man anyway. And he had already been kind… Shanan… I needed to only look at him to know that Shanan couldn't take this pace much longer. "You." I focused on the red-haired woman, this 'Alicia'. "You're a healer, yes? The pink-haired girl said you were."

"I am," she confirmed, expression both serene and impassive. She crossed her arms, studying me just as I studied her. "I'm assuming you wish for a healer's opinion on your nephew's condition?"

"Yes." I clung a little to Shanan, who watched us all curiously. It had been a while since he'd seen people be cordial to us. "Things were rough before…" I struggled for the words I wanted and came up vague. "All of this."

"He is in very bad shape." Her expression didn't change, and they gave a strange sort of… well, it wasn't gentleness, because it was still no-nonsense. But they didn't feel like a slap to the face or anything, and they should've. Maybe that was the exhaustion creeping in. "He's underfed, so much so that I hesitate at giving him solid foods for some time." That made sense. I didn't know how to cook, and I didn't know how to forage. And while I had brought some things to sell, it never seemed to be enough. "He is suffering from injuries, both physical and mental." That didn't surprise me, given the blood I saw and given what we endured. However, I hadn't met a healer who focused on _mental_ health before. You had to go to someone special for that, in Isaach. "It would not surprise me if he caught some sort of illness from all the mold around here."

"In short, suck up my pride or he will die." I sighed, grinding my teeth. Gods, I needed to expand my vocabulary in order to properly convey how much I'd messed up. And now I was in the worst of positions. Not only did I have to plead, but I had to plead to someone from Grannvale. The very nation that _caused_ all this… trouble. "I was tasked with keeping him safe and, more to the point, he is my nephew and the only family I have left." Unless Galzus survived, but considering everything, I doubted that. "So, please… I know Gran-"

"I am a healer, my lady." Her words were quietly fierce, like a fire that warmed from afar. "I heal people. I leave the politics to the politicians and the fighting to the soldiers." She looked up at Sigurd, leaving me free to gawk. I was so certain… so certain that I would've had to have said more. Certain I would've had to bargain, plea… "The first order of business is to get him out of this cell. I want to give him a bath, and a good scrubbing." But, instead, they simply… they simply helped…? "I thought I saw signs of lice, and I was not kidding when I said I think he might've caught something from the mold."

"Of course," Sigurd replied, with a slight, easy smile. He offered his hand to me, and I had to stare. These people couldn't be real. This had to be some fever dream. That was the only explanation I had… except his hand was solid, warm, and callused when I eventually took it. Too solid for a dream. "It is an honor to meet you. I shall do everything in my power to ensure you're both safe. You have my word."

"...I'm not sure how much I trust that word…" I mumbled, mostly because I almost felt dizzy from this. So, I used his hand as a lever to pull both Shanan and myself up and I tucked Shanan against my side. Then I bowed, to hide how confused I felt. "However, you didn't slay Shanan out of hand. For that kindness alone, I will take that leap of faith."

"And I shall endeavor to never prove unworthy of that faith." His voice was warm, and when I glanced up, I saw that his smile was even warmer. "Miss Alicia? Should he get a bath in… whatever room best serves as an infirmary? Or a place he can use as his room?"

"For the time being, his room _is_ going to be the infirmary," Alicia replied, in a voice that said she _would_ be obeyed. I almost bristled, automatic reaction, but her smile was kind when she looked at Shanan. "I'm afraid it won't be the most relaxing bath, but you can have a relaxing one once I'm sure you don't have lice."

"Might need to check the rest of the army. Lice are annoying. We had an infestation at the academy and it was a nightmare."

"Your soldiers can bathe themselves, Lord Sigurd."

The two began discussing treatment options for both Shanan and the army, and they led Shanan and I out of the cells, and the dungeons. With each step, more and more exhaustion fogged my mind and more and more pain spiked through my arms, legs, and back. Both told me that this really was no dream. These people… these very weird people were equally real. And, for the first time since Marricle and I saw Father's corpse… for the first time, I didn't feel like the world was dark. I felt like there was a glimmer of light. Just a glimmer. But it was enough. It would be enough to get me through this.

I promised Marricle, after all. Until Shanan could stand on his own, I had to guard him. Shanan was Isaach's future, and my precious nephew. I would… I would make it. And I would see where this light took me.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: And here's Ayra. There's nothing in-game about how exactly Ayra ended up in Verdane (which literally is on the other side of the map, and meant she and Shanan traveled through Yied and all of Grannvale, and in Kinbaith's service, so I made something up. This is Ayra's POV of the final scene of Chapter 3 in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ , her recruitment and all. Felt like it was important. Also, Alec is actually a decent person to use to bait Ayra away from the castle, because Alec's Nihil prevents Ayra from activating Astra (meaning he can actually survive a couple of hits, but only a couple). Lex also being there is based off the Oosawa Manga. I don't think I ever used Ayra's sister's name before this point. She's not named in canon, so I went with 'Neria'. Galzus, briefly mentioned here, is a char from FE5. The 'Fairy' thing is from something _very_ briefly mentioned in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ (Chapter 7, I want to say?).


	7. Comfort

Comfort

_Aideen POV - Gran 757_

* * *

When we got word that Genoa was 'officially' captured, everyone moved. Lady Lachesis returned to Nordion, and the rest of us arranged for the wounded and their safe passage to Genoa. Once that was settled, Midir, Azel, Sir Finn, Dew, and myself all rode for Genoa. Dew rode with Azel, babbling about this and that, while I rode with Midir. Officially, it was because he was my guard, and we were not certain if the road was safe. Truly, it was because I liked having the excuse to lean against him, and hear his heartbeat. I still couldn't believe he was alive. I knew I would have to say a prayer of thanks as soon as things were a little calmer, and I half-wondered if my 'Ullur Luck' protected him as it seemed to have protected me. I mean; I considered myself very _lucky_ to have not lost him.

As soon as we arrived, and Midir helped me down, Oifeye led me inside and through the winding hallways with startling ease. I followed him as quickly as I could, and tried to not lose the shoes Dew got for me. They were a bit big, but they were certainly better than being barefoot, especially since my feet were still recovering. But I did wish Oifeye wouldn't walk so quickly. I knew it was a sign of his eagerness and nervousness, but he often forgot not everyone could keep up! Still, I managed to at least keep him within sight until he showed me into the study where Sigurd was working on something no doubt important.

"Aideen!" However, he promptly threw whatever it was to the side to greet me with that ever-bright smile of his, as well as his warm, secure hug. "I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered, sweeping me off my feet in his enthusiasm. But he quickly put me back down because he knew I didn't like that and then he studied my face. "You _are_ okay, right? The message said you were."

"Yes, I'm fine, Sigurd," I reassured him, smiling as warmly as I could. He smiled back again, relieved. "I'm so sorry, though."

"For…?" He frowned, clearly trying to think of what I could be apologizing for. "Did I miss an important date?"

"No, no, it's not like when you forgot your birthday. Again." It was amusing, really. Sigurd could remember everyone's birthdays with ease, but always forgot his. "No, I'm apologizing for all of this. I've put you and the people of Chalphy through nothing but trouble."

"With me as their heir, my people are used to trouble." He waved the apology away, just as I I knew he would. "And it's about time you paid me back for all the trouble I've caused you over the years." He grinned, making it all a joke to make me feel better. It worked, of course. It typically did. I just wished he'd stop downplaying the risks he took to keep people safe. "The road back to Jungby is secure, though. So, I'm surprised you're here."

"I wish to stay and help." I put on my best 'stubborn' look. "Injuries are inevitable in a war, and more healers are better." I also wanted to help him, for once.

"Well, I certainly can't deny that." He pretended to mull it over before shrugging. "Ring is going to give me a lecture from hell, but I know better than to argue with you. You win more arguments than Ethlyn!" That was because Sigurd gave up arguments fairly quickly, either going along with the other person or doing what he wanted, damn the consequences. "So, instead, I'm going to rejoice in having plenty of opportunities to tease you about Midir." He laughed and I made a face. "It's been days since I've teased you. _Days_!"

"Some days, Sigurd, I'm certain the only way you won't tease me about anything is if you were dead." The word reminded me of my earlier fears and worries and I lightly hit his shoulder, ducking my head. "Honestly, though, what were you _thinking_? Going up against an army with a handful of knights? Do you know how _reckless_ that was? You could've died."

"I didn't exactly charge them, Aideen."

"You still could've died. You…" My voice cracked and all those fears I'd had bubbled up to the surface. All the terror I felt during the attack, during my capture… all my sorrow and guilt over the wounds inflicted and the dead strewn about… "Why must you be so reckless? Don't you know how many people would be hurt if you died? If you had died because of my stupidity, I…"

"I'm right here, Aideen." Sigurd hugged me, gentler than before, and though I tried to hold strong, I couldn't help but cry. "I'm right here. I'm sorry for worrying you, but I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"You better not." I leaned into him, still crying. "That was so… I need to say a prayer thanking the gods for protecting you."

"I'll come with you, since they kept you safe too." He stroked my hair. "It's okay, Aideen. We are all safe and, with luck, we'll be back home soon."

I simply nodded, and kept on crying. He let me, of course, because that was just how he was. He was the one who teased me relentlessly, made me laugh with a few words, and let me cry on his shoulder. That's how we had been since we were toddlers exploring the world, and that's how we would be until our dying days. Always.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: The conversation between Aideen and Sigurd takes some nods from their in-game conversation, though it's a bit more playful. It's fun developing their relationship, especially since it wasn't common (and, honestly, probably _still_ isn't common) for the hero to go rushing off to save his female best friend… and then she's _not_ the love interest. Pretty nifty, imo.


	8. Tears

Tears

_Sigurd POV - Gran 757_

* * *

"Argh, so annoying!" Ethlyn complained, startling me from the utterly fascinating world of reports and inventory supplies. So enthralling. I had to fight to keep my eyes open from the excitement of it all. "You and Quan both are so careless!" She stomped her foot and reached down to fix… whatever she had decided needing fixing with my clothes. "Honestly! Have some pride in your appearance! You'd think you'd be better now that you've a squire."

"I give Oifeye enough to do, especially with this campaign," I replied, smiling slightly now that I knew what was going on. She had noticed something off about how I'd looked and it had bothered her. Sadly, I couldn't remember what it was. I mean; I did do it on purpose, and had Oifeye play along. It was just so much fun messing with her and her neatly tendencies. Was pretty certain she knew I did a lot of it on purpose, which does frustrated her further. "And I am sitting down in the comfort of my own study."

"Where people can come in at any time and don't need to see their glorious leader looking slovenly." She huffed, hands on her hips, and then she was right back to poking my clothes, specifically my shoulder. "Oh, the seam has come undone." She plucked at an errant thread, frowning at it like it had just spit up wine. "I'll fix it later, okay?"

"Surprised we have _anything_ that still needs to be mended with Miss Alicia in the infirmary." I shouldn't tease, but if she wasn't making medicines or tending to patients, then she was mending clothes. Or blankets. Or bandages. Really, if you walked into the infirmary, nine times out of ten, she was mending. "You dragged her out into the market with you and Aideen a few days ago, didn't you?"

"Dragged being accurate." She sighed and leaned against my desk. I set the absolutely-fascinating report on… whatever it was… and leaned back in my chair to better look up at her. "I never had to deal with someone who kept up formalities for so long before. Well, I suppose you have Finn, but…" She trailed off, trying to think. I waited, not wanting to interrupt. "With Finn, the titles don't feel like a boundary? They feel more like…"

"Almost like a term of endearment and definitely a form of respect." I had noticed it myself. It was clearest with Quan, but there was a warmth and sincerity to the titles. Quan, for instance, was his lord, the one he had _chosen_ to give his loyalty to. Ethlyn was his lady. I was the best friend to his lord, brother to his lady, so I would be given that same warm respect. "It's like it's part of your name, and while you might wish for him to drop the title, he doesn't feel distant."

"Right, but with Alicia, it feels like a wall. Much like how she's always wearing that 'healer's mask'." She grumbled something I didn't quite catch. "It's like it _is_ her face. But I'm sure it's not, you know?" She sighed, though, shoulders drooping as frustration left her. "I… though, I do suppose that could just be me being bossy and pushy again. I mean; I had thought the market trip was fun, as did Aideen, but..."

"I see." And I did. I remembered how I had teased her in the arena, shortly before Ayra and Lex had their argument, and how she had been perfectly polite. "Well, perhaps one should have patience, Ethlyn. It took a while for Quan and Eldigan to warm up to me."

"And now look at you three!" She giggled, mood brightening at the reminder. "The best of friends forever and ever."

"Indeed." However, my own mood dropped when I thought of that vow and how much trouble it had caused Quan and Eldigan both. And not only them, but their families and their people and... "I'm sorry, Ethlyn."

"For…?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Did you ruin my favorite dress again?"

"I _never_ did that. It was Quan. That's why he bought you that new one." I shook my head, and smiled wryly up at her. "No, I'm just… I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess."

"Oh, Sigurd…" She laughed, though she quickly muffled it. "You know you're irreplaceable to me. You, Quan, Altena… why, I just have to think of your smiles and I know I can endure anything." She smiled brightly. "Risking my life doesn't scare me. Though, I'll admit that I am terrified of never seeing you again. Any of you."

"Ethlyn…" I sighed, shaking my head. She had said something similar when we had a serious talk about her relationship with Quan. "You're like me. When your mind is set, you won't back down."

"Nope!" She poked my nose, this time not hiding her laughter. "So, give up, mister!"

"So long as you remember one thing." I caught her hand and held it tightly, not quite looking at her. "You're irreplaceable to me as well, Ethlyn. You and Quan both." Ethlyn, Aideen, Quan, Eldigan, Lachesis… all of them were my most precious people. I'd do anything for them without the slightest hesitation, and I'd defy the Crusader and gods both if it meant they'd stay safe and happy. "So, please, continue to show the sense you got from Father and not be as reckless as I am?"

"Oh, Sigurd…" She hugged me, sitting on the arm of the chair so that she didn't have to bend too awkwardly. "Of course, my dearest brother. And I know I can't curb your recklessness, since you just wouldn't be you, but try to stay safe. You know how I worry."

"Of course."

"My lord!" Naoise burst into the study, and I was on my feet in an instance, almost knocking Ethlyn to the ground. Not that she complained, since she knew as well as I did that Naoise wouldn't be so impolite unless it was important. "Gandolf is razing the nearby villages!" he reported, saluting. Both Ethlyn and I froze. "Orders?"

"Assist, of course!" I replied, already moving. Ethlyn was on my heels. "Gather everyone, split into groups… which villages? All of them?"

"Alec has more information, my lord."

"Thank you!"

We moved so quickly that I honestly wasn't sure if everyone knew or not. Based Alec's information, I went to the worst hit, the first one, riding with Aideen. Ethlyn and Quan went with the second worst. I hoped someone made sure that Miss Alicia knew what was going on. I should've made sure before I left, but I panicked. How could Gandolf hurt his own people? If he was going to refuse, then why not just strike us, the 'invaders'? Why…?

And then we arrived, and all questions were replaced with horror. If someone told me I had walked into hell, I would've believed them. Children dying in their parents' arms… children trying to wake their parents… people screaming as they burned alive because they were trapped inside burning rubble… Blood turned the dirt into mud. There wasn't a single intact building. The dead were strewn about like rag dolls. And that was just what I could process. I knew things had to be far, far worse.

I dismounted and ran for one of the nearby piles of rubble, using the bit of of strength Baldur blood gifted to do what others couldn't. My hands were instantly filled with splinters, and blisters, but I didn't care. I didn't care, because lifting the rubble helped some escape. Others needed more help, and I talked to them, encouraged them to hold on just a little longer while my soldiers carefully pulled them out. I talked to those sitting in the mud, reassuring them and learning where others might still be alive. All the wounded went to Aideen, and some were sent with knights back to the castle in the hopes that they could be saved by someone with more training. Aideen cried; I hugged her and kept trying to save people. I think. It honestly all became a blur after a while. A red-brown blur of dead. I think it was my mind's desperate attempt to keep me sane. To keep me moving. Because if I could help just one more… save just one more… I'd do anything…

From my perspective, I blinked and went from moving burning rubble to being led through Genoa Castle by Quan. My hands were bandaged; I didn't know who did that. I wondered where Quan was leading me before realizing we were in an out-of-the-way hall, where I could cry or scream if need be. Because he knew I'd need something like that. But my mind was so numb, and my shattered heart couldn't do anything but ache. So, instead, I just leaned on him heavily, and Quan gathered me up in a reassuring hug.

"Hey, Quan…" I rasped. My throat hurt. Both of us smelled of ash and blood. "Is this…?" No, there was no question about it. This was my fault. I had wanted peace, and yet… I might as well have…

"No," Quan whispered firmly. He held me a little tighter, patting my back. "No, it's not your fault, Sigurd. I'm used to fighting Thracians, and even I didn't guess he'd do something like this. Not so extensively. Believe me, if a sane man could think of it, I would've warned you."

"We should've brought them into the castle. We should've had patrols." Thousands of things I should've done streaked through my head. My fault. This was my fault. "Are all the wounded in the infirmary?"

"Sigurd…"

"I have to see." I needed to see with my own eyes what my foolishness led to. It was the least I could do for the victims, to not look away. "I have to…"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"Actually, if you can get everyone organized for a counterattack? My head is a mess."

"You got it." Quan pulled away and made sure to look me in the eye. "This isn't your fault. I will repeat it as many times as I have to."

He left, no doubt because he knew I couldn't believe the words, especially right then. I took a few breaths to calm myself and then strode to the infirmary with my head held high. Or, so I hoped. When I actually arrived, I wasn't so certain, because the infirmary was another nightmare. An organized nightmare, but a nightmare nonetheless. And it was much the same as what I saw in the ruined villages, though with much less mud. But because they were confined to a single room, the sounds and smells just seemed amplified. There were more tears and sobbing, for instance, and the smell of death was so thick that I swore I needed a blade to cut it so that I could walk. And walk I did, checking on each one, holding the hands of those who needed it, smiling at those who needed it. Anything I could do, I would do freely.

But, strangely, I didn't see Miss Alicia. She wasn't out in the front, tending to the patients. So, I headed to the little side-room where Oifeye and Finn often played with Shanan, wondering if she was there making medicines, since she didn't seem to have any assistants for the moment. When I got there, I heard a quiet sob, though, and I worried that perhaps Shanan had been stuck in there through all of this, unable to get out before the waves of wounded hit. So, I cracked open the door, expecting to see Shanan crying in Miss Alicia's arms. However, I froze, because it _wasn't_ Shanan crying. It was Miss Alicia herself. Her hair and hands dripped water, and small puddles near her showed she had barely managed to clean herself up before collapsing in tears. She covered her mouth to muffle the sound, but what I could hear was heartbreaking.

My instinct was to run over and hug her, but instead, I closed the door and rested my head against it. Because based on how she acted, she would be embarrassed at being caught. She would scold herself. She might even withdraw more. And that wouldn't be good, especially with this _very_ clear sign that she felt more keenly than she showed. She hid her emotions, projected an air of gentle serenity, and hid when that mask wavered.

I wanted to help her. Not just because of all the help she had given me either. I wanted to help her because she was alone. She was used to being alone. She was used to crying alone. And that wasn't right. No one should cry alone. Everyone should have at least one person to give support, even after the tears dried.

I stepped back from the door and talked to a few more of the patients before leaving, steeling my resolve not only for the coming battle but for a vow. I had wanted her to join so that she wouldn't be alone, and had thought her volunteering meant she had wanted to reach out. But that wasn't the case; she must've been so alone that she didn't know how. So, I would have to reach out, but to be careful about it. Be patient. Just as I had been with Quan and Eldigan.

I supposed the first step might be to try and do away with titles. Ethlyn and Aideen hadn't had luck, but maybe I could figure out something. Maybe. ...I'd work out the details later. After making Gandolf pay for hurting so many innocents. It was the only way to atone for what had happened, after all.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: And have another Sigurd. This is set during Chapter 4 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_ (I think the title is 'Cracks'), and I'll admit that this is actually one of the scenes that made me decide that I needed to properly finish the first generation's tales. Also have Ethlyn and Sigurd interacting. Many of Ethlyn's lines come from her Heroes dialogue.


	9. 'Aquire'

'Acquire'

_Dew - Gran 757_

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It was amazing just how much stuff there was to shift through after a battle. Bunches of coin-purses that I stashed in my pockets because the dead didn't need to buy anything. Broken blades could be sold as scrap metal. Whole weapons could be added to extra supplies. Plus there were medical kits and sometimes, some weird looking cane things that were probably staves. Like the one I found underneath a dead guy wearing robes and promptly gave to Aideen. Because she saved me, so I wanted to help her.

"This is a Warp Staff, Dew," Aideen murmured, smiling brightly as she studied the old cane thing. Her smiles were better now that she was free, and knew that her knightly love, Midir, was alive and well. And back with her friends. "These aren't very common. Where did you get this?"

"Er… well…" I began, trying to not fidget. I'd 'promised' to stop stealing, but was it stealing if it was from the dead? And besides, I was a kid. How else could a kid help an _army_? I wasn't stupid crazy smart like Oifeye. But I was actually able to relate to more than one person, so I thought I won in the end. "It was just over there! I betcha the gods left it just for you! Since you're so nice and all."

"Oh, Dew…" She sighed, her smile disappearing. I winced, and looked down. I'd never been ashamed of being a thief. Had to do what you could to survive and all. But I did hate seeing that mildly disappointed look on her face. "Well, this will make it where we can transport the injured much faster, so I'll bite my tongue. But you keep your promise otherwise, yes?"

"Of course!" I made sure to grin, and she smiled again, though this time, it was tired. "You okay? I can get you something, if you need me to."

"It's just been a long few days, Dew. I'll be fine when I can finally rest." She laughed. "Which will be much sooner with this Warp staff. I'm going to go help Ethlyn now."

"Okay! I'll talk to you later!" I rushed off, in a better mood now. While I still felt bad at disappointing her with the thieving stuff, it was overwhelmed by the relief at being able to help her. And help the army who took me in, even knowing my past as a thief. Without even a guard at that!

But Aideen wasn't the only one I had things for, so I ran to the infirmary tent, because if you wanted to talk to Alicia, you had to brave all the blood and guts because she _never_ left the infirmary. I wondered if she was cursed to always remain there or something. But it did make her easy to find, the few times you did need to see her and you weren't bleeding out. I had to wait for her to finish stitching up someone's eye, though, and endure the smell. Piss, poop, sweat… you never got used to it, even when you dealt with it a lot. And when you were a street kid, you _definitely_ dealt with it a lot.

I never knew my parents. My first memory was being kicked by some bigger kids for some piece of molded bread I had. Hunger had been normal. Being dirty had been normal. I became a thief out of necessity, taking advantage of my small size and quick fingers. Aideen was the first person to ever really be kind to me. Jamke had been the first person to trust me. Lord Sigurd had been the first person to tell me that I was welcome. This army was the first 'home' I ever knew. That was why I wanted to help, however I could. Even if it meant 'breaking' a 'promise'.

"Ah, Dew, did you hurt yourself?" Alicia asked, turning to smile at me. Despite the fact that she'd been working for gods knew how long, her smile was gentle and serene. "Come over here. I'll fix you up."

"Actually, I've got stuff for you," I explained, rummaging through my packs to pull out all the medicines I'd 'found'. Seriously, was it stealing if you took from the dead? It wasn't like it was hard or anything. Dead didn't fight back. "I… uh… happened to find these."

"Oh?" She picked up a few, opening them up to smell and inspect them. Her eyes sharpened, and I had a feeling that I needed to get better at lying. However, she didn't look disappointed or anything. Instead, she just… kept on smiling. "Well, isn't that lucky? I was just thinking I needed to make more of these. I ran out."

"I've always been on the lucky side!" Or made my luck. Whichever. "Anyway, I'll keep an eye out."

"Of course, but be careful. They might be things others need." Her eyes were serious, and I saw the hidden meaning. She wouldn't say anything, but she did ask that I not, say, raid the church for medicine or something. "We can always buy it from them."

"True." Having lots of money was a strange thing to me, but I was in an army led by nobles. I wasn't sure they even knew what 'budget' meant. "Oh, right! Hey, I'm good at finding bargains, so would you like me to do some shopping for you?"

"That's kind of you, Dew, but when it comes to medicines, I prefer doing it myself. I need to make sure it's the correct herbs, for one thing, and that they are still viable." She crouched down a bit to look me in the eye and touched my cheek. "But I do appreciate it. I also appreciate you thinking of the infirmary when you acquired these."

"Of course." I grinned at her, and when she smiled back, there was something different to it. More mischievous. "Oh, if I happen to find healing staves, would you want me to bring them?"

"Please. It is rare than an infirmary has enough, especially after a battle." She turned away suddenly, and I saw that one of the soldiers was whimpering, clawing at their chest. "Easy, easy…" She went to tend to them, and I snuck out, since I was done and didn't need to watch her sew things up.

Besides, I had other things to drop off, and more things to sell. There was only one way a thief was going to be useful to an army. And I was determined to do whatever I could.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, have a Dew. The conversation between Dew and Aideen is based on their in-game conversation, where Dew gives Aideen a Warp staff (and gains a love point boost with her, I think? Not sure).


	10. Smile

Smile

_Ayra - Gran 757_

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Shanan wasn't in the infirmary. Not too much of a surprise, since he'd been recovering well, but he still slept there instead of a room of his own and he wasn't there. He wasn't with Finn and I didn't ask because he was occupied by Ethlyn, who doted on him as she did her own brother. I couldn't find Oifeye. Alicia, for once, wasn't in the infirmary either, which meant I had no idea where the hell she was. The only time I'd seen her leave the infirmary had been when she went to the _field_ infirmary! So here I was, rushing about Marpha Castle, desperately trying to figure out where Shanan was, because _no one_ was where I expected they would be!

"If you keep storming about like that, you'll bring a thundercloud inside the walls." And to make matters oh-so-much better, Lex was here. "You're scaring the servants," he noted, casually leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "Not very nice, you know."

"Perhaps I'm not a nice person," I replied automatically. I knew I should feel bad about scaring them, especially since they had to deal with all of our messes, but until I knew where Shanan was, I honestly couldn't care less. I had to take care of him. I had to keep him safe. Mariccle had asked me to, so I… "Don't think it matters either way. Are you just here to prod me?"

"Well, I could just watch you run about like a headless chicken as you have been, but Azel would scold me. Or worse, pout." Lex shrugged, and I barely suppressed the urge to glare. "If you're looking for Shanan, he's out back with Sigurd and Alicia."

"...Thank you…" Didn't like being so easily read, but then again, I was certain that everyone in the damn army knew two things about me. One, I was Isaachian royalty. Two, I took care of Shanan.

"Not a problem. Sigurd seemed to drag both of them out quickly, so I was sure that no one had told you." He shrugged, pushed off the wall, and walked away. "Get some sunshine. We really don't need rain, you know."

"Ah…" I watched him leave, and realized… I realized that he hadn't been there randomly. He had actually been looking for me. Because he knew I'd be scared and frantic. And that just reminded me of something I had needed to say for days. "Um… I'm sorry!" I blurted the words out before my pride slammed my mouth shut to make the words crash into my teeth, and he turned back, looking bewildered. "For what I said in Genoa. At the arena." I looked down at the floor, in the hopes that would make it easier. Because I needed to apologize. I'd known that for a while. No matter how annoyed I was, or how patronized I had felt, as soon as I had accused him of lying… that locked up look on his face was so different, and it told me that I had done more than hit a nerve. I'd gouged it and poured salt on the incision. "I… I appreciate the effort, but I have to work past…"

"Yeah, Alicia reminded me of that, and I logiced my way through once I'd calmed down a bit and all." He spoke softly, and when I glanced up, I saw he was smiling. A very different smile than I had seen before. It was softer, gentler. "But I do mean it. Sigurd is too straightforward to even think about lying."

"I'm learning that." Not just that, but it was how bright he was. It seemed like he simply _couldn't_ be anything other than straightforward and be exactly as he appeared. His own light burned away any shadows where he might have hidden masks and lies. "It's hard. But I am learning." And I was learning the rest of this army was much the same, because they loved their lord. They loved Sigurd, and so, they risked treason to keep Shanan and me safe. All because he had promised me. "You said Shanan was out back?"

"Yep. When you get outside, just follow the laughter." Now he grinned. "You can't miss them."

"Thank you."

I escaped before I got too embarrassed and blurted out something random that would make me seem like a fool. I thought I heard him chuckle, but I decided to ignore him if he was. Instead, I ran outside, circling around until I heard the laughter Lex had told me to use as a guide. Then I came on the courtyard, where Shanan and Sigurd were playing tag or something, Sigurd making sure to keep things fair, and Alicia watched them with a small smile, mending something as she always did. But most of that barely caught my attention because Shanan was laughing. Shanan was smiling. I had seen and heard it before, of course, but it was still a relief to see him so happy. Oifeye, Finn, Sigurd… they had given Shanan back his smile. That was another reason why I was moving past. No matter my feelings for Grannvale, it was hard to hate the people who helped Shanan so. It was hard to distrust them.

"Alicia, you sure you don't want to play?" Shanan asked, rushing over to her. She set her mending to the side so that he could rest his hands on her knees and better look up at her. "It is really fun!"

"I can tell, but I am content in watching," Alicia replied, gently touching his cheek. Her smile was different from the one I was used to her wearing. It was much softer and warmer, not something meant to soothe the looker, but something she truly felt. "Go on, and don't worry about me. I'm having fun too."

"You sure?" Shanan hesitated for a split-second before hugging her and rushing back to Sigurd to continue the game. Which quickly turned into Sigurd picking Shanan up to spin him around, to Shanan's excited shrieks of laughter.

Alicia turned back to her mending, but she looked up and saw me standing there. Her smile turned more into the smile I was used to seeing, and she beckoned me over. "Lord Sigurd wondered if Lord Shanan might want to play outside," she explained as I gingerly sat down next to her. Didn't want to sit on a needle. That hurt. "I worried for his health, and so, Lord Sigurd suggested that I come outside as well to watch."

"I see," I whispered, smiling slightly. I couldn't help but laugh when I looked back to Sigurd and Shanan playing. "I'm glad he's recovering."

"He still has quite a ways to go, but he is doing well." She focused on her mending; I wondered why we had so many people tearing their clothes. "I imagine we can switch him to a more typical diet soon. I am certain he will enjoy having sweets again."

"Oh, of course."

"Ah, Princess Ayra!" Sigurd walked over, with Shanan sitting on his shoulders. Shanan continued laughing, and he beamed at me. "Would you like to join in?" he asked me. Then he paused and looked at Alicia. "Er… Shanan can still play, right?"

"I don't see why he can't, though I do worry about _your_ schedule, Lord Sigurd," Alicia replied, something about her serene expression more playful than normal. I briefly wondered if the two were in those early stages of mutual attraction before dismissing the thought. It wasn't my business at all. "Do you not have meetings?"

"Quan has been badgering me about taking a break, so I pushed things on him." Sigurd grinned and lifted Shanan up to set him back on the ground. Shanan immediately raced for a nearby apple tree, tripping a few times. "Regardless, though, Princess Ayra? Would you like to join?"

"I suppose," I replied, standing up and heading towards the tree. Sigurd quickly fell in step with me. "But you can drop the title, you know." I smiled bitterly at him. "I'm the 'princess' of a country that has fallen, or will fall soon."

"A country is its people more than its rulers, yes?" Sigurd countered easily. "If your people are half as determined as you are, then I don't think even the gods could make Isaach _fall_." The words were firm, even if they were spoken with a warm smile. "However, if you feel more comfortable or safer, then I will gladly drop the title."

"It is… safer, yes." I just did not know how someone like this was raised in Grannvale, much less survived to adulthood. "Besides, with the way Shanan is running, it's a good idea to save your breath."

"Seems so!" Sigurd just grinned. "Race you to him!"

"You're on!" The words were automatic, my competitiveness kicking in, and by the time we reached Shanan at the tree, I found that I was smiling too.

I… I had worried I had made a mistake. But maybe I hadn't. Maybe it was just… oh, philosophizing wasn't like me. I'd just take the days one day at a time, and hopefully, smiles would be more common. I thought they might be, one day.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Another Ayra POV, this time set between Chapter 4 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_ and Interlude - Marpha. Mostly focused on Ayra trying to move past her own trauma.


	11. Bindings

Bindings

_Deirdre - Gran 757_

* * *

I shouldn't be here. Well, I was should _never_ be here, should _never_ leave the Spirit Forest… but this time especially, I shouldn't be here. It had been too soon since I last snuck out of the village to get some apples from the castle's tree. But I had to check in on that kind woman. She had been so sad and so scared. I worried for her. So, here I was, sneaking back into Marpha, wondering how I might make sure she was okay. I liked her. She was the first person to talk to me for so long. She even told me stories of her home… what a wonderful place it sounded, and so different from the village and Marpha, the only places I knew. And the only places I would ever see.

When I arrived in Marpha, though, I was surprised. Everyone was cheerful, far more cheerful than I had ever seen. However, It didn't take long to hear why. 'Lord Sigurd' had liberated it from their horrible prince, and now waited for Prince Jamke to convince his father to negotiate for peace. I couldn't help but smile when I heard that, because I knew of him. He was that woman's dear friend, the princely knight in shining armor. I _knew_ he'd come save her. I was sure he had. So, I should probably return, though I did want to actually see her and make sure she was truly okay… Though, I wasn't sure what _I_ could do if she wasn't…

"Well, aren't you a pretty one?" A trio of men suddenly gathered near me. I looked around, wondering who they were talking to. "Say, how about we spend some time together?" one of the trio asked, looking at me. "Well?"

"Um… I would rather not," I replied, confused. Why would they be talking to me? Most ignored me, even here. Marpha knew of the 'rule' about those of the Spirit Forest; it was why I was able to sneak into the castle's grounds. "In fact, I was just leaving…"

"Don't be so stubborn!" One seized my arm and I flinched. They held too hard. I thought I might bruise. "We just want to show you around, have a bit of fun…"

"Please, I really must be going…" I tried to pull away, but I couldn't. I had to get away, though. I had to. I… "I…"

"You won't regret it!" He pulled me close. I closed my eyes and tried harder to pull away. But I couldn't. I was too weak. "I promise!" Someone… please…!

"I think _you_ are doing something you're going to regret." Someone, words long with exasperation, pried the man's hand off my arm easily. When I opened my eyes, I saw whoever it was had even twisted the arm for good measure. "She doesn't want to go," they continued, speaking firmly. "Leave her alone."

"Oh? And who do you think _you_ are?" the man asked with a sneer. I was curious about who had saved me, but they had moved to stand between me and the trio, so all I could see was his back. Strangely, though, I felt… safe. I felt safe for the first time since I left the village. "We saw her first, buddy!"

"Are you two or something?" My savior continued to sound exasperated. "Just go on. I'm tired already."

"You really think you can-!"

"You know; considering their armor and weapons, it's possible they are from Prince Gandolf's army." A new voice chimed in, words filled with careful innocence. I glanced over and saw this speaker was a beautiful woman, with long red hair and green eyes. She had a sad, lonely look to her, a look I knew well. I had that look often when I checked my reflection. Though this woman hid hers far better than me. "I could be wrong, of course, but…" the woman mused. The trio fled as fast as they could, however, and so, she laughed. "Then again, perhaps I'm not."

I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized I was safe, and I wondered if I should stay or if I should leave. I was surprised they came to assist me, since everyone else ignored me as always, so I should thank them. But the encounter reminded me of the dangers of the world, and the dangers of breaking the taboo...

"Are you okay?" However, my savior asked a question, and I knew it would be rude to simply run at that point, so...

"Ah, yes, I am," I whispered, looking up shyly. Then I froze because I found myself staring at the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were a striking blue, as blue as the sky above or the dancing waters of the lake where fairies made their home. His gentle smile was as bright and warm as the sun above, as reassuring as light magic. My heart warmed and ached in my chest, and I looked down quickly to hide the blush burning on my cheeks. Based on how he looked, how he acted… there was only one person this man could be… "Thank you very much, Lord Sigurd…" The friend of that wonderfully kind woman… the princely knight in shining armor… this had to be him.

"You know my name?" he asked, his smile softening. He was just as I imagined from the stories, and I… I wanted to see him smile more. I loved how it made his eyes light up. "How?"

"Sigurd, you do realize you're rather distinctive," the beautiful woman noted dryly, giving Lord Sigurd a skeptical look. I noted the lack of title and how comfortable they seemed to be with each other, and thought that they must be a couple. It would make sense. Both were incredibly good-looking, and they had coordinated to save me from those men. "Miss, do you require healing?" Plus, she was equally kind, to ask that question of someone like me. Yes, it made sense, but my heart keened bitterly…

"No, I'm fine," I reassured, making sure to laugh. I hoped it would chase away the strange pain digging deep. "Thank you, though. But I'm afraid I don't know…"

"It's Alicia." She nudged Lord Sigurd's leg, but continued looking at me, even smiling. Two people smiling at me today… I'd never had so many do that before. "You know him already, from town gossip, I guess?"

"No, actually." I shook my head, remembering why I had come to Marpha in the first place. "I talked to this lovely woman with beautiful gold hair and a gentle smile last time I was here. She seemed scared, so I told her my favorite story." So, perhaps, they could tell me… "I came to town to see if she was still okay."

"A woman with…" Lady Alicia's smile warmed, reminding me of the gentle fire that warded away the cold during winter. "That was Lady Aideen. She's safe with us."

"Oh, I'm so glad…" I couldn't help but beam. But with that knowledge… and with this odd pain in my chest… I… "I… should get home in that case, though."

"Would you like me… us… to escort you?" Lord Sigurd offered. He still smiled so softly and kindly, and I worried my face would burn off with how fierce my blush was. "I would hate for you to be accosted again."

"I… um…" I stammered, unable to think coherently. I was tempted. I wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to know him. I wanted… but then I remembered the warnings. The catastrophe that would happen if I… "N-no, I'll be fine! Thank you!" Then I ran. Fled, really. As fast as I could. All the way out of town, despite hearing him call after me. I only stopped when I reached the nearby forest, the prelude trees before the 'proper' Spirit Forest. Once there, I collapsed and tucked myself among the roots of the tree, pressing my hands to my chest to calm my pounding heart. I had no idea if it was pounding because of the run… or because of Lord Sigurd.

I closed my eyes and tried to just… forget. Push it to the side. I knew the rules. I was not allowed to leave the Forest. I was not allowed to fall in love. I was not allowed to be with anyone. I was the cursed child, born because my mother broke the law of the village and left. I shouldn't exist. I did, but I shouldn't. So, I wasn't allowed… I wasn't…

I began crying, pulling my knees into my chest so that I could muffle the sound. Because I wanted to be by his side so badly. I wanted to learn everything about him. I wanted… I wanted… but I couldn't. Besides the fact that he had a lover, a beautiful and kind one… there was the catastrophe. The catastrophe that would shatter the world if I broke the taboo. The world… the gods… they could forgive one transgression. But not two… And I didn't want him to bear that. I didn't want…

This was all so confusing. I felt like I was being strangled by chains. And I had no way out. I just had to stay until I suffocated. Because there was no other choice...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: A lot of people requested this one, actually! Sorry it took a bit. But have Deirdre! This is set during Interlude - Marpha of _Memoirs of the Holy War._


	12. Verdane's Hope

Verdane's Hope

_Jamke - Gran 757_

* * *

"Father, you have to stop this madness!" I snapped, not sure if I wanted to scream or bawl. Just a few months ago, I never would've considered yelling at Father. We had always gotten along well, especially after Mother died. But, here I was, in his study, yelling at him. "My brothers have already fallen!" And it was surprising how much that actually hurt. We never really got along. They thought me 'soft' for being kind and a 'coward' for wielding a bow instead of an axe. I thought them both idiots with no impulse control and a childlike mentality. But it hurt. It hurt that they were dead. "It's only a matter of time before Grannvale comes here!"

"You do not need to yell, Jamke," Father sighed. He did his best to sit properly in his chair, but the recent events were taking their toll on him. Never the strongest health-wise, I half feared the stress was going to kill him. "I can hear you just fine."

"Are you sure? Because this is more or less the same damn thing I've _been_ saying for the past few weeks, and you didn't hear me then!" And I was just… done with all of this. I'd promised Aideen and I owed it to my people to keep at it, but this was beyond aggravating. Far beyond. "Their leader, Sir Sigurd, is supposed to be a kind man, and we already know he's treated our people well." Certainly better than my brothers had. "Please, let us end this war before we are completely overrun! Our people don't need more deaths, and our soils don't need more blood and corpses!"

"Grannvale originally was preparing an assault on us. That's why I allowed…" Father closed his eyes, forcing back his own tears. "I didn't think…"

"Everyone stopped thinking when Sadima showed up!"

"Prince Jamke, such cold words…" And, of course, that's when Sadima showed up, a man with a heart as black as his robes. He'd protected Father from some 'Grannvale assassin' a few months ago, and thus earned a place here. I swore that he was the one who sent the assassin in the first place! "But that is neither here nor there, yes?" Sadima continued, voice mockingly polite. "I think that, as _crown_ prince…" And he emphasized that word just to hurt Father and me more. "You have a duty to lead the forces against the enemy, yes?"

"...He's right, Jamke," Father whispered. I tried to not flinch at how he, once again, listened to Sadima over me. "Lead the troops."

"Are you serious?" I asked, letting my head fall. It hurt. He used to listen to me. He always said that I inherited Mother's wisdom. But ever since… "If you won't change your mind, even now, then… then I'll go. But please, Father, consider my words?" However, despite my hurt, I made sure to smile at him, because I knew there was a good chance I'd die before seeing him again, and I didn't want our final words to be so angry. "I'm not just asking as a prince. I'm also asking as a son who has always been proud of his father's path. Who adored the peaceful Verdane his father made. So please, consider it?"

I glared at Sadima one last time before striding out of the room with my head held high. As if I was perfectly certain of this path. As if my heart wasn't keening bitterly. What was I supposed to do? If I stayed true to my convictions… well, Mother always stated that when you had a difficult choice, you should follow your heart. Let it guide you, and it will find the path of least regrets. But if I followed it, then I'd go against Father and Verdane and...

Sadima, if I survived this, I swore I was going to put an arrow through your head. And I'd savor that moment every day for the rest of my life.

* * *

The attack on Marpha went… honestly, if someone had told me it, I would've laughed at how ridiculous and unbelievable the tale was and asked what sort of alcohol they'd been drinking. An army firing arrows at an unarmed woman (by accident… sort of) and yet, only one even grazed her? The leader of the enemy army welcoming all of us with open arms and a warm smile? Nonsense. Complete and utter nonsense. And yet, that was exactly what happened. I wouldn't say the rest of the army was quite so trusting; their Chief Healer's eyes had been cold enough to burn. But even then… even then, she had treated our wounds kindly. And Aideen had happily greeted me, even though she had a bandage on her cheek from my arrow. Dew had even given me a hug, and picked my pockets just because he could. And others had at least been polite to me. It was… what the hell was wrong with these people?!"

"They are the absolute weirdest, huh?" I looked up from tending to my bow to see a strange woman leaning against the doorway with her arms crossed, wearing armor unlike anyone else in the army. "I'm still convinced half of them were dropped on their heads as children," she continued with a sardonic smile. "Repeatedly."

"Certainly would explain a few things," I replied, trying to get a read on her. All I got was 'foreign'. "You are?"

"Ayra. Princess Ayra, of Isaach."

"...Isn't Grannvale at _war_ with Isaach?"

"Yep. And yet, Sigurd has given me sanctuary. As well as my nephew, Shanan. The crown prince of Isaach." Her smile grew, and I sincerely began wondering if these people were just insane. "So, if it makes you feel better, this is Sigurd being himself. Or so I assume. His best friends, his sister, and his knights aren't surprised at all. By any of it."

"How has a madman completely decimated an army?" I tried to remember the counts my scouts had given. We'd outnumbered them. "Seriously, how?"

"I'd say that's my question, but he killed your brother in one strike. He's at least as strong as he is insane."

"Oh, great, that makes me feel so much better."

"Well…"

"So, I heard something about strong and insane, so are you two gossiping about me?" And there was Sigurd, laughing. Ayra jumped in surprise, but he rested a hand on her shoulder. "I am sorry, but I couldn't resist teasing," he explained, still laughing. "Shanan was asking for you, though. I think the fire made him nervous."

"Of course," Ayra murmured, bowing her head slightly. She then narrowed her eyes at me. "By the way, I am sparring you in revenge for the fire. Idiotic tactic."

"Now, now… we can just have him help in the infirmary."

"And spar." She smiled very slightly at him, though. "Thank you." She left quickly, not quite running, but definitely faster than a walk.

"The fire tactic seems to be a bit at odds with how you act," Sigurd noted, focusing on me. He actually stepped into the little room that had been marked off as my 'recovery' room, though he did keep his distance. Giving me room to breathe. "I guess you were really trying to close out your heart to do what you thought needed to be done for your people, huh?"

"Uh… that's…" I began, startled. I hadn't expected him to read me that well. "Um…"

"I'm a reckless idiot, but I do try to watch for people. How they act, and that sort of thing." He smiled. "It's not a 'perfect' ability by any means. My own assumptions color it. But I can often get close."

"Scarily close." I sighed and then made sure to look at him. "I mentioned it earlier, but my father is truly just trying to do what is best for his people. Sadima is the one who told him, and now, he let himself be blind to anything but Verdane."

"Of course." And, just as he had before, Sigurd simply accepted my words. How could he trust me so easily? I tried to kill him! He was alone with me right now, and there were a thousand and one ways I could kill him right now. I had my bow, damn it! Yet he smiled so kindly and gently. "So, we should shift our plan of attack to focus on this Sadima, as well as prioritize rescuing your father." He nodded, thoughtful now. "We'll do everything we can. I'd rather we end this as quickly as possible. But I'm sure you would like to rest. It's been a long day."

"It has, yes." And the next few days would be even longer. "Pleasant sleep?"

"To you as well."

He left as well, closing the door behind him. Curious, I actually opened it back up to peek outside, certain I'd see guards or something. But nope. No guards. Could literally just waltz right on out of here. He really was the most insane person. And yet, that bright kindness… it made me feel like matching it. To be a better version of myself to 'keep up' with him. So, I did leave my room, but it was to go talk to my soldiers and work on minimizing the number of fights in the coming days. Had to assume there would be _some_ trouble, after all. It was two different armies integrating. But if I could keep it from getting violent, that would be good.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, the first scene is based on the in-game scene, which leads to Jamke appearing on the field. The second scene is the "little talk" Sigurd mentioned having with Jamke during Chapter 5 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_.


	13. Help

Help

_Deirdre - Gran 757_

* * *

"So many frightening you today, huh?" I whispered, resting a hand on the tree trunks. Every tree within the Spirit Forest was a resting place for a wandering fairy or a lost ghost because these trees were filled with sacred, quiet power. It was that power, which blended together the mortal realm with others, that made the Forest hard to navigate for strangers. They needed the friendship of the trees, so that the trees would help guide them. "Is it another army?" The leaves rustled above my head and I sighed, smiling bitterly. An army had passed not long ago, marching through the lone 'mortal' path through the forest. "Do not fret. Your home will not be lost." Though I was sure they were not happy that so many new ones would join them in the trees. Particularly since their branches were already sagging from the weight. "I wonder…"

Curious despite myself, I carefully meandered through the various roots and paths, keeping a hand on the trees so that they would guide me. Truthfully, I should've long headed back to the village, but I knew it would be a while before anyone would look for me. Though they were vigilant about making sure I didn't break the taboo, they also did their best to ignore me. I knew many would be happy if the spirits who guarded the forest simply spirited me away. I had overheard them saying it many times. But the Catastrophe that loomed over us also made them keep an eye on me, a strange contradiction that simultaneously left me chained and free. Many times, I wondered why they didn't just kill me. Many times, I wished they would. Surely that would be better than…

The trees and leaves rustled and I smiled sadly at them, knowing they had sensed my thoughts and now worried terribly for me. I had heard tales of 'evil spirits', but the spirits of the Forest weren't like that. They were hesitant, yet kind, always wishing to assist and wishing happiness for the living. Those who were lost were lost simply because the spirits were shy, and because the lost didn't know how to listen for the spirits. So, if not for the spirits, I honestly might have jumped off from something very high a long time ago. But because I knew they would be sad, I didn't.

But such thoughts didn't stem my curiosity over just who was marching through the forest now, so I continued on my way until I reached the lone path, and then I carefully hid among the trees and shrubs to watch them. They were a strangely mixed group, most if not all riding horses. Some wore Verdanite garb. Others wore clothing like Lord Sigurd and Lady Alicia. Still others wore clothing I couldn't recognize, like the beautiful woman with long black hair who argued with the blue-haired rider she rode with. Or the adorable woman with pink hair who flirted and smiled with a man with short brown hair.

I nearly gasped when I saw Lady Alicia, mostly because her being here told me this was Lord Sigurd's army. She seemed more tired than she had in Marpha, which made me worry, but she laughed and smiled with the young man she rode with. The two looked alike, so much alike that I wondered if they might be siblings. I wondered what it was like, having a sibling. I only really knew due to watching the other villagers, but these two seemed to get along _much_ better than the ones I had seen. They weren't screaming at each other, for one thing. The siblings in the village always seemed to be arguing about this and that.

Unbidden, I found myself looking for Lord Sigurd, and he was so easy to find. He was towards the front, talking with a man I vaguely recognized as Prince Jamke, while also pointing out various birds and squirrels to the young boy who rode with him. The young boy's eyes lit up at each one, and he asked all sorts of questions, with Lord Sigurd answered as best as he could, deferring to Prince Jamke when he didn't know. Watching over everyone with a bright and warm smile…

I quickly hid, covering my ears to block out the laughter and closing my eyes to try and dispel the image of that smile. I had tried to push him from my mind over these past few weeks. I truly had. But each time, I remembered his kind smile, his warm eyes, his soothing presence… I couldn't stop. He was all bright and warm, like the sun, and though I knew, _knew_ , I had to be in the shadows… I couldn't help but long to walk in the light. More to the point, I wanted to walk in the light beside him, so that I could see his smile, hear his laugh…

"Stop being stupid," I hissed at myself, digging my nails into my scalp, around my 'protective circlet'. The one gift from the villagers and even though they hated me, I clung to it because it was the only gift I had ever had… "You can't…" But even as I tried to convince myself, I remembered how the other villagers had been worried earlier. Worried about a powerful magic user in Verdane's castle. Lord Sigurd and his army… they were marching towards that person. They could die…!

But I could help them. I had the ability to use the Silence staff, and I was good at resisting magic. I was strong, magically speaking, so I knew I could stop that magic user's power. I could help them. And I wanted to because I didn't want _more_ people dying. I didn't want people to go through all that pain. So, if I could help, even a tiny bit, then I wanted to. It just felt like the right thing to do. If you _had_ the ability to help, then shouldn't you?

Besides, this was Lord Sigurd's army. Based on what I saw, based on what I had heard, I knew his heart would break at the deaths and pain his army endured, which made my own heart keen. And the thought of Lord Sigurd being the victim… of Lady Alicia, who smiled so kindly… of Aideen, who told me so many stories… the pain was indescribable. They were such warm people. They deserved only good things, bright things… and if I could help them, if I could keep them safe… then I…

Hesitantly, I returned to the village to get my Silence Staff and my Aura tome. While I didn't know if I would… I did want to help, but what was 'helping'? Directly? Or hiding so that the Catastrophe didn't destroy them? I didn't know. I didn't know! But I… I...

* * *

Things were… a bit of a whirlwind, truthfully. But while I had been walking towards the army, still debating whether or not I should offer my assistance, I had actually run into Sigurd and Alicia. And the resulting conversation… I swore I was dreaming. Or that the villagers had finally killed me and I was in heaven. But learning that Sigurd and Alicia _weren't_ romantically involved (and, in fact, found the idea so ridiculous that they laughed themselves to tears)? Learning that Sigurd, bright and wonderful Sigurd, felt the same for me as I did for him? Being invited and welcomed into the army? The very large army, where everyone smiled and laughed. Smiled at _me_. Seemed happy to meet _me_. That had never happened before. And I… uh… I really didn't know what to do!

"I swear I am going to collapse," I mumbled to myself, wandering the quieter portions of the camp. I found it hard to breath and I felt more than a little nauseous. There were so many people! So many! And their reactions to me were so different than what I was used to! "Okay, where would Alicia be…?" Sigurd was busy with army things, and… while I did want to try and find Aideen, I was at my limit. Oh, how was I going to get through this? And there was the ever-present fear of the Catastrophe… all these kind people… did I condemn them? By seizing my own happiness, did I kill them? I…

"Oh, hello!" A bright, young voice nearly made me scream, but I simply jumped back and blinked a few times. "Ah, I'm sorry!" The voice belonged to the little boy I had seen riding with Sigurd, and he smiled sweetly, and apologetically, at me. "My name is Shanan," he greeted, bouncing a bit. "You're Deirdre, right? Sigurd's fiance?"

"I… yes, I am." Fiance… that was right. I couldn't believe it, but hearing the word from someone else did make everything feel a little more 'real'. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too!" He grinned now, and it was such a warm expression. "Glad I found you. Everyone in the camp is super nice, but it can be _really weird_ if you're not used to it. My auntie is still trying to adapt, and I tend to stick close to a few people."

"Hee… it is surprising how kind everyone is." I relaxed, glad that there was at least one person who understood. Even if that person was a child. "Though, perhaps it isn't so surprising, given how brightly Sigurd shines…"

"That's true. He's like a bright light in the dark and makes people want to match him. Or so I've heard. I think he's fun, though. Super fun and super nice." He laughed and I couldn't help but giggle. "Anyway, were you looking for someone? I know Sigurd is busy with leadership stuff."

"Ah, yes!" And Shanan wasn't too overwhelming to be around while alone… "I was actually trying to find Alicia."

"Alicia? She's in the infirmary." He grinned and took my hand. I nearly jumped because so few people had done that before. "Pretty much if you're looking for her, that's the first place to check! She's always working, because she takes her healer job _super_ seriously. But she's really nice too and explains why she does the things she does when I ask."

Shanan continued to babble while we walked, hand in hand, and he pointed out other locations in the camp, such as the 'cooking tent' and the 'storage'. He also shared bits of gossip he had overheard while wandering the camp, and telling me more about the various bonds he saw. It was quite a bit of information, especially from someone so young, but it was clear he paid close attention to the world around him. Eventually, though, we came upon an area where people were quiet, and it was soon obvious just why that was. The infirmary tents were set up here, and people respectfully let the wounded and ill within rest.

Someone called for Shanan as we arrived, and Shanan raced off to help whoever it was. So, cautiously, I stepped into one of the tents, afraid that I would be interrupting something. But it didn't seem to be that way. Instead, the inside seemed perfectly… well, not quite 'calm'. There were people whimpering and sobbing from pain. Others growling in frustration. But I didn't feel like an _intruder_ here, even as I stayed back and lingered by the entrance. Perhaps it was because of how calm and serene Alicia was as she checked on each of her patients, talking kindly and respectfully to the conscious, and checking the unconscious thoroughly. I honestly would've thought her too busy to notice me being there, but as soon as she checked the last one, she washed her hands and then came straight over to me, like she had seen me there the whole time.

"Were you overwhelmed?" she asked, smiling slightly. I could only smile sheepishly in return and nodded. "I knew I should've stayed with you. Sigurd had to deal with scouting reports and the like, yes?"

"Something like that, yes," I murmured, relaxing now. It was easy to relax around her, and not just because she understood what it was like to be _tolerated_. It was how she had declared firmly and with quiet yet fiery conviction, that she was _certain_ that I was simply being used as a 'scapegoat' for the Catastrophe. I wasn't quite so sure, but to hear her say that and to see that she fully believed it… it had helped me so much. Between her words and Sigurd's, it gave me the courage to seize the chance for happiness. "Everyone is so bright. I fear they'll blind me."

"I think that once you're a little more adjusted, you'll shine along with them." Her smile softened further and I couldn't help but beam. I never really had a friend before, much less a 'best friend', like I had seen others in the village have. It was so much fun, and reassuring! I couldn't be happier! "Ah, here, I'll-"

"Hey, Alicia, sorry to bother, but have you seen… oh!" It took a bit of blinking to adjust to the new person in the entrance, but I had to smile when I saw it was Aideen. She looked much happier than before, and I was glad for it. "I knew it was you," she noted, smiling so brilliantly at me that I stepped a little behind Alicia to 'shield' my eyes. "Ethlyn was happily telling me about you and as soon as she told me what you looked like, I knew it had to be you." She giggled, perfectly delighted, and I tentatively smiled back. "Ah, I'm so glad… now I get to thank you properly for the apples. _And_ Sigurd smiles so happily because of you, which just makes everything better." She clapped, stopping her own ramble, and I wasn't sure how to react. Save blushing and smiling because I was so glad he was happy, even if I found it so strange that _I_ was the cause. "Ah, I'm going on and on and on. Would you like to have tea with me?" The answer was, of course, that I wanted to, but I was still feeling overwhelmed and everything.

Hesitantly, and hopefully furtively, I glanced at Alicia for some sort of assistance, and Alicia smiled softly at me. "Aideen, would you mind terribly if I joined you two?" she asked. Aideen was surprised for a split-second before she beamed, brighter than even the sun! "It might do the army well to see me _not_ hovering over the ones hit with the spell."

"I'd be delighted! You've refused my last few invitations, after all!" Aideen laughed, clapping her hands again. I smiled thankfully at Alicia, glad she would help me. "Here, follow me! I know we don't have _much_ time, but it should be fun nonetheless!"

It was actually a lot of fun. I never knew that something as simple as drinking tea would become fun when you did it with so many people. I was glad… so glad… that I had decided to help. It led me to the happiness I had always, always wanted. I just hoped… I just hoped that I could keep them safe and that the Catastrophe didn't...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, have another Deirdre. The first scene is set during Chapter 6) The Spirit Forest and the second scene is set between scenes in Chapter 7) Silence.


	14. Missing

Missing

_Ethlyn - Gran 757_

* * *

"Quan, put me down!" I kicked and struggled, but Quan kept a firm grip on me as he carried me into our tent. "Quan!"

"It's too dark to keep looking," Quan refused firmly. He set me down on the bed, but quickly blocked the entrance when I tried to rush for it. "Ethlyn, it's too dark."

"But they're not back yet!" And that was the crux of the matter, or whatever the hell the phrase was. After dealing with the aftermath of… that damn spell… Sigurd had walked off to think, and Miss Alicia had followed him. And now? Both were _missing._ "We need to find them! You'd think with-!" And I bit my tongue to stop the words born from venom and anger. And bit a… uh… a little too hard. "Ow..."

"Are you okay?!"

"Yeah…" I sighed and pulled off my boots before pulling my knees to my chest. This was just pathetic. I knew Quan was quietly freaking out too, but he was right. It _was_ too dark. Even with candles and lanterns, you could barely see your hand in front of your face once you stepped off the path. "I was about to say something blatantly untrue just to get a barb in, and I bit my tongue to stop it." I wasn't a child, after all, and I loved Quan. I didn't want to hurt him just because my heart was keening.

"And you hurt yourself." He hid his smile by kissing my cheek, and he lingered a bit to quietly reassure me there were no hard feelings. He knew well why I was panicking. If he didn't have to focus on me, _he_ might have been the reckless one. "Here, I'll make some tea. What kind?"

"The lavender one."

"Lavender?" He headed over to the corner where we had our little 'tea making kit' and looked through our teas. I pointed to the one set a little apart, in a plainer tin. "Oh, lavender herb!" He laughed and began making the tea, using matches and whatever else. I let _him_ handle it. Matches made me nervous every since the burning building incident. "Where did it come from? Lavender doesn't grow well in Leonster without careful cultivation." No, it didn't. It did wonderfully in Southern Grannvale, though, and Verdane. Milder summers and wetter winters did that. "Did you buy it at the market?"

"Miss Alicia made it for me, actually."

"The whole mix? Because there's a bunch of things in it." He studied the mix curiously. "I smell fruit?"

"Yeah. She noticed I liked 'fruity' teas." It had surprised me, really. I had gone to her to ask if she had some calming teas, because though I was getting used to battles in Leonster, I just couldn't get used to people screaming and sobbing as I tried to save them. She had studied my expression and made up the mix, filled with various herbs that also helped new mothers recover from pregnancy, and then just things I liked. Even told me to let her know if she needed to change anything. "So, she added some to make the tea more enjoyable to drink. It's very healthy too."

"I didn't realize she paid that close of attention."

"Same." But it did make me happy. It made me feel like I _was_ actually befriending her and making it past those walls she put up. Walls no doubt resulting from being the illegitimate child of a noble. However, all that just made me remember how she was missing now, along with Sigurd. Gods, why couldn't I ever help him when it really mattered? "Why did you encourage Miss Alicia to follow him?"

"Partly, I thought he wouldn't go too far if _someone_ followed him." Quan checked the tea, to see if it was steeped enough. "As for why I didn't… while trying to reassure him, I misspoke and accidentally hurt him. And when he snapped back…"

"Tried to get…" No, Sigurd wasn't really like that. "He misspoke too."

"Yes, so I thought it would be better if I stayed back and let someone else ease his spirit before trying again. Miss Alicia happened to be near and looking for him, for some reason."

"Probably to let him know that the victims of that spell would be fine." I had no idea _how_ or anything, but I knew Miss Alicia well enough to know that she wouldn't have left them if they weren't. And they had seemed fine when I'd checked on them. Tired and aching, but recovering. "And now, the entire camp is fretting again for different reasons."

"War is all about fretting. It's why I'm so skilled at it." He smiled at the joke and I did have to laugh at that. "Well, that and being Sigurd's friend for so long. This all reminds me of the last time he was 'missing'."

"...Yeah, I suppose so…" I remembered that time clearly. It hadn't been that long ago, after all.

It had been a few days after Quan and I had confessed to each other, and no matter what Sigurd teased, we hadn't really been dating-dating. I had wanted to tell Sigurd first, to make sure he heard it from me. And I had been trying to get him alone so that I _could_ tell him, but Eldigan and Lachesis had also been visiting, so it was really chaotic. Fun, of course. But chaotic. I half-thought I'd have to make up some excuse to get Sigurd alone, and had been talking with Quan about a way to distract Eldigan and Lachesis when word came that a nearby village was flooding from deluge we were suffering. Spring-melt plus rain plus a dam breaking. It was bad. So, of course, we had gone to help, and when we learned that there were people trapped in the actual river? Sigurd leapt in without a second thought to pull them to safety.

There were a few seconds of that day that I'd always remember, even when I was old and gray. Lachesis and I had been treating injured. Quan and Eldigan had been helping Sigurd, mostly by staying on the ever-crumbling edge so that they could pull the civilians out of the water. Sigurd had just gotten the last one and had been reaching for Eldigan's hand to get pulled out himself. Then there had been a deafening _roar_ , loud enough to make the ground quake, and Sigurd shoved Eldigan back just as the massive torrent of water engulfed him and… and he disappeared.

I still remembered the throbbing in my throat from all of my screaming. I still remembered Lachesis holding me while she herself sobbed. I still remembered Eldigan and Quan racing along the river, desperately calling for Sigurd. But he hadn't answered. He hadn't been anywhere in sight. Lost to the waters… I had been absolutely inconsolable, and I remembered still how Father had nearly collapsed. I remembered Naoise and Alec going on their own search, to see if they would be luckier. I remembered Arden heading out on his own, and Oifeye trying to sneak along, but getting caught.

What I remembered most about that whole thing though? Besides that horrible moment? How two days later, Sigurd just _nonchalantly_ returned, bruised and bleeding and soaked. Right when Quan had kissed me in a quiet promise that he wouldn't give up on finding Sigurd, or his body. Sigurd had leaned against the doorframe with a raised brow and announced his return via a 'so, anything you would like me to know?'. And then had the gall to be surprised by how worried we were, damn it!

"Watch him return and be completely oblivious to how frantic we are," I grumbled, focusing on that part. He had to come back. He had to. I didn't know what I'd do if he… if he…! "I can imagine it so damn easily."

"If I didn't know him, I'd call it cockiness," Quan murmured. He brought me over the mug of tea, and steadied my hands to make sure I didn't drop it. "As it is, I think he just… I often think he's unaware of how loved he is."

"And how much it would hurt if…" I struggled to not cry. I wouldn't cry yet. Not until he was back. That would be the _best_ revenge for this! "He's going to pay dearly for making you worry, Quan."

"Right, for _my_ worry." He smiled slightly, knowing what I really meant. "As soon as there's enough light to safely navigate, we're going looking for them."

"Okay."

"I'm sure they just decided to camp and not risk hiking through the woods."

"Well, Sigurd wouldn't risk Miss Alicia like that." Himself? Sure! Others? Nope! "He is in so much trouble. Causing all this trouble for Miss Alicia as well…"

"Okay, Miss Alicia getting caught up is more _my_ fault, but we'll handle blame later. When they're safe." Quan kissed me sweetly, lingering a bit. "Here, drink your tea and relax, okay? I'm going to make sure Aideen is okay."

"Don't bother her if Midir is there."

"I know the rules." He grinned and I did have to giggle. "There's the smile I've been missing. I'm glad to see it again."

"I love you, Quan."

"I love you too, Ethlyn."

* * *

Wouldn't you know it? Sigurd did, in fact, just walk up nonchalantly, completely confused as to why we were all frantic. Even more bizarrely? He brought his fiance. _Fiance_. I hadn't even known he was _freaking courting someone_ and he just showed up from the woods _with his fiance_. I had wanted to know Miss Alicia's reaction to all of that, since she was also safe and sound (thank everything), but she was as calm and serene as always, making that pointless. She and Deirdre did seem close, though. But that didn't matter. All of this was just so overwhelming that despite having spent some time crafting the 'perfect' lecture… it all just went flying.

"Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid brother!" Or maybe the word I wanted was 'drowned', because all I could do was burst into tears and (lightly) hit his shoulder to punctuate each word. Sigurd simply let me scream, rubbing my back as I sobbed. "Stupid! Going off in the woods on your own like that!" Thankfully, we were in his tent and no one else was around. Aideen and Quan made sure of that, knowing that I'd need this. And, thankfully, Deirdre wasn't here either as I didn't want her to think I was mad at _her_. Far from it! "Why do you always have to worry me?!"

"Hmm… is that why I'm seeing gray hairs?" he teased. However, he shifted to properly hug me, kissing my head as I continued to sob. "I'm sorry, Ethlyn. I didn't notice how far I had walked. Poor Alicia had to throw something at me."

"Good." I took a few deep breaths to try and calm down and when I pulled away, Sigurd found a handkerchief and wiped my face. "Sigurd! I'm not five!"

"No, but I figured you'd want that snot gone as soon as possible." He grinned and I scowled. "I am sorry for worrying you, Ethlyn."

"You'd think I'd be used to it, considering how you are."

"I'm sorry." He led me to a chair and handed me the handkerchief before going to the jug of water Oifeye had left before I got here. I wondered why briefly, but figured it out when he pulled out another handkerchief and began wetting it. "When things calm down enough, let's go for a market trip. I'll buy you a few things."

"...And you'll let me pick you out new clothes?"

"Of course."

"Deal." I blew my nose and got the worst of the snot gone, and Sigurd returned to my side to use the damp washcloth to help clear away the tears. And help reduce how red and puffy I was from crying. "Deirdre is adorable, by the way."

"I'm glad you like her. It would be quite awkward if you didn't." His relieved smile said it would be _more_ than awkward, and I knew why. He adored his loved ones, after all. "I hope you'll continue getting along."

"So long as she makes you happy." The second she made him sad, though? Well, I _might_ give a warning first. Maybe. With Quan, Lachesis, Eldigan, and Aideen. Especially Lachesis. "If she does, then we'll get along fantastically."

"I have the sweetest little sister." He kissed my head again. "So, honest opinion, should I wait for Father?"

"For the wedding? We don't know when he'll come back, so I'd say 'no', actually." It was probably a bit mean, but Father _hated_ ceremonies. He'd done his best to hide it for my wedding, but I could tell. Of course, Father had apologized for it, because that was how he was. "It'll probably actually be rather quiet for an heir's wedding."

"That might be better for Deirdre."

"That's true. And _everyone_ knows that the bride is always right when it comes to her wedding." I grinned at him and he chuckled. He had indulged some of my more whimsical requests for my own wedding using that as the justification. "Can't believe you hid her from me, though. Me! Your little sister!"

"Well, truthfully, my plan had been to find you and tell you first, but for _some_ reason, I got rushed." He grinned, but held up his hands in surrender when I glowered. "But, I promise. You were going to be the first one I told."

"Mmm… I'll take it. But I get to be the first person you tell when you have a kid." I gasped as I realized something. "Oh! I'll be an aunt!"

"Getting through this campaign first, wedding second. Then Deirdre and I will talk about children. At her pace." He used the damp handkerchief to take my snotty one and tossed both in the corner with the rest of his dirty laundry. "But I'm glad you're excited about that."

"I'm going to spoil your kid silly!" I frowned when I noticed something. His appearance… as per usual, it was messed up. "Ugh… okay, Sigurd, sit down."

"Hmm? Why?"

"Your hair is a tangled mess." I got up to hunt for a brush and pushed him into the chair. "I can't believe how much of a mess it is."

"Reminder that your hair tangles just as easily."

"Hush." I relaxed as I began brushing his hair, though. It was something that started after he and I reconciled, and he became far more open. He'd brush my hair and I'd brush his hair. A moment of quiet for us both. "Hey, make sure you make all this up to Oifeye as well, will you? He was doing his best to hide it, but I know he was frantic."

"I have a feeling I need to make it up to _everybody_."

"You are. But especially him. He thinks the world of you, after all."

"One of these days, I'll figure out why." He shrugged and I could only sigh, shaking my head with a small smile. Because I knew. It was so very obvious to everyone but him.

Though we called Oifeye 'cousin', his actual relation was second or third cousin or something complicated like that. His grandfather and ours had been brothers… and hadn't gotten along, leading to an estrangement that Father hadn't bothered trying to fix. Still, when Oifeye's parents died, Father had insisted we do our familial duty and pay our respects. And there had been talks about where Oifeye would go, now all alone in the world. People arguing about this and that, all over Oifeye's head. But Sigurd had taken one look at the quiet, shy, struggling-to-not-breakdown-in-public young boy Oifeye had been and did what no one else did. He asked Oifeye where _he_ wanted to go. Oifeye hadn't known, so Sigurd had offered for him to come live with us. Oifeye had agreed, and so, Oifeye became part of the family, filling in the 'missing piece' left behind when Mother died. Not a perfect 'fit' of course, since Oifeye was so different. But still, making everything feel 'whole' again. And Oifeye had blossomed under Sigurd's care. Because Father was busy, Sigurd more or less took over raising Oifeye, being some sort of fatherly-brother figure in his life. Sigurd encouraged Oifeye to pursue his interests, and when those interests turned to tactics and knightly codes, taught him personally. He taught Oifeye swords and how to ride, made sure Oifeye always had new books to read. Not quite _spoiling_ , but certainly doing his best. And so, Oifeye adored Sigurd. Probably always would, too.

But to Sigurd? All of that was natural to him, as natural as breathing. So, it didn't occur to him at all that it would be the reason why. Just one of the reasons why my brother was so charming. Even if it exasperated me.

"When you're done brushing my hair, I'm going to call a War Meeting," Sigurd declared softly. I stiffened, remembering that dark spell, but he took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "It's going to be okay. Deirdre actually has a way to help."

"She does?" I asked, startled. Considering how skittish she had been… but then again, Sigurd would never force someone to fight. "Well, I'm quite curious. Maybe she's our missing… oh, shoot, what's the expression?"

"Ace in the sleeve?"

"Yes, that." I frowned, curious suddenly. "Wait, where does that even come from?"

"Well, I first heard it in relation to poker. Specifically cheating by hiding an ace up the sleeve. Useful for winning, but a bit tricky to pull it out without people seeing."

"...Wait, how do you know that?" I scowled when he just grinned. "Sigurd!"

I swear; my brother was going to be the death of me!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, have an Ethlyn. Like the previous Deirdre one, this is technically split between two chapters, Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_. The brushing hair thing comes from something Sigurd briefly mentions to Alicia in Interlude - Phinora. The flood incident is explaining what Sigurd meant in the first chapter of _Memoirs of the Holy War_ about how 'Quan and Ethlyn confessed while he was drowning'.


	15. Honesty

Honesty

_Lex - Gran 757_

* * *

I had _expected_ to be in the frontlines, but things apparently always went weird when it came to battles. Or at least, they did for this campaign. Random attacks from peaceful allies, lords stampeding over their own dead, blasted with dark magic, Sigurd getting a fiance… all weird shit, really. At least this current bit of weird shit had some logic to it. While we were charging forward, Jamke noticed that there were some servants running _from_ the castle. And when the servants were evacuating, you knew something bad had happened. Well, that something bad had happened _and_ their boss was a nice person. And, since Sigurd was also a nice person, he immediately sent people to go try and help the evacuating people. Led by Alec, Naoise, and myself. Why us? Knightly-knights, and Dozel specialized in defensive techniques. Simple, really. Now, Arden might've been good for this sort of thing too, but he was _sloooooow_. And busy protecting Deirdre. Sigurd's fiance. Seriously, the fact that Sigurd had a fiance was the weirdest thing about all of this.

But neither here nor there. There were things to do, and for me, that meant patrol. Naoise and Alec were busy helping the soldiers calm the absolutely _terrified_ servants (never a good sign), so I rode around to make sure no enemies were hiding with their annoying arrows. Well, _I_ found them annoying, since I had Neir blood. If they didn't bounce off and leave little cuts that hurt way more than they should, they just stuck in at awkward angles. And I got yelled at for pulling them out, which made them more annoying…

"Man, if Tailtiu were here, she would've been shocking me or something to make me pay attention," I sighed, dismounting. I was all the way at the lake, on a little part of the coast that jutted into it. Why? I let my horse wander like an idiot. "Or, worse, if my father…" Automatically, I tensed, clenching my fists tight enough for my knuckles to turn white. That man… when I was younger, I had looked up to him. My hardworking, strong, dutiful father… I had wanted to be just like him. Even with my antics, I strove for his praise. I treasured every kind word, every affectionate gesture. I worked hard and studied harder, so that I could _exceed_ his expectations. I had loved him, after all. Hell, part of me still did.

But as I had gotten older, I had noticed my father's flaws. Temper, gruffness, lack of tact… but worst of all was the envy. The envy of the other houses. A feeling of not being acknowledged. I watched that envy slowly devour my father's good traits, and I saw how it was affecting his ruling. I could see how it would hurt our people, lead our soldiers to their deaths. So, two years ago, I had tried to talk to him about it. A simply discussion, no different than any other time we had discussed philosophies or political matters.

Except this time _had_ been different. He'd punched me. He'd beaten me. Startled, horrified, and betrayed… I ran. I grabbed my things and ran to Velthomer. Technically, sure, Friege had been closer, but my father and Reptor had aligning values. Arvis, though? Arvis had been polite, sure, but I'd known he'd let me stay. Not just because I was Azel's friend, but because I was a son beaten by his father. Something he himself had suffered with his own father.

And I'd been right. Arvis let me stay. Arvis let me live in Velthomer, and I'd lived there for two years, pretending I didn't care about anything, especially my father. Azel saw through it easily, but he let me get away with it. Because it was hard. Even now, it was so hard to acknowledge why that had been so different. Hard to believe that my father, who I loved and admired, had hurt me. But now, no small part of me wished I had done something more, because of what was happening in Isaach. I didn't care what anyone said. I was damn sure my father did _something_ to either provoke the campaign in Isaach or capitalize on it. After all, the people he hated most were conveniently heading off to battle and people died in battles all the time. Death didn't exactly care about your rank. Be _super easy_ just to off them and blame the war. Or even set up other people he didn't like and, damn it all, Father was crafty and petty enough to do that.

"Damn it…" I growled, raking my hand through my hair. Then I took a breath and retrieved my axe, simple iron, so that I could do some practice swings to bleed off my frustration. Almost immediately, though, I swung too hard and it went flying out of my hands and into the water. Because of course it did. Why wouldn't it? Sure, I had a couple of others, but it was the principle of the thing. "Better calm down before Azel sees. He'll fret himself silly…"

"My pardon, good sir." A voice caught my attention and I looked around for a moment before realizing the voice came from the water. Where a lady was casually treading water. "You dropped something, yes?" she asked. I nodded, wondering what the hell was going on. I mean… Random lady coming up from the water? Yes, this was a _totally_ normal thing. "Was it this golden axe?" She pulled up a sparkling golden axe and set it on the shore by my feet. "Or was it this silver one?"

"No, nothing so fancy." Really should've just run like a smart person, but manners just _had_ to force their way in. "Just a simple iron axe." Besides, why would I want the others gold one? Gold was pretty and all, but soft. It made a piss-poor weapon. Now the silver axe was a bit tempting, but I hated lying. Well, less hated and more… Mother made me promise to be as honest as possible. And even if it had been a child's silly promise to a parent, since she had died soon after… I strove to live up to it. "You don't need to worry about it. Unless it hit you or something. In which case, I'm sorry."

"Hee…~" She waved her hands over the two axes and they suddenly disappeared. In their place was a single axe, one that was very different. "You are a very honest person. Please, take this. I do not know if it will change your fate, but it should be of use nonetheless."

"Uh… what?" Unfortunately, I could only stare as the lady disappeared into the water. And she _disappeared_. Sank into the water and there was nothing there. I even stuck my hand into the water to check if it was just super dark or something, but no. It was like she had melted _into_ the water or something. And the only proof I had that it hadn't been a hallucination was the axe on the shore. The axe that was an amazing weight and felt like it had been _made_ for my hand.

Was… was this a normal thing in Verdane? Random ladies appearing from the water, asking questions, giving weapons, and then disappearing again? Seriously? Ah, forget it. I'd break in the new axe and hit things until things started making sense again. Or at least until I felt better. Either-or.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, this scene is an oddball, so to speak. It involves having to move Lex to the very edge of this tiny little peninsula (that is the exact opposite direction of the castle and enemies btw) in order to trigger. You get an 'Honest Axe' scenario, and for it, Lex gets the Brave Axe, his best weapon (and the only way he can attack twice in a battle thanks to how double-attack works in FE4). There is _absolutely nothing_ that hints to the event in-game. Not even a throw away line from a villager. Yeah. On the other hand, I thought it would be hilarious to showcase it because of how random it is. So, here?


	16. Trouble

Trouble

_Sigurd - Gran 757_

* * *

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of all the times for my temper to get the best of me… it _had_ to be when there was a time limit! And it wasn't even my _right_ to be so angry! It was Jamke's! After all, Sadima had killed _his_ father! He had mercilessly wounded King Batur and then left him to bleed to death. Not that King Batur didn't cling to life with everything he had, just to see Jamke one more time. Just to warn us and tell us what he knew. A strong man, right up until the end...

However, I hadn't focused on that. Though what King Batur conveyed to us with his last breaths was important, beyond important, all I could focus on was Jamke cradling his father, his hands coated in blood after just a second of pressing into the fatal wounds. Jamke, begging for his father to hold on for a little longer because there were healers, and King Batur apologizing to his son with his very last breaths. Jamke's scream of pain when his father's heart stopped. It lingered in my head and so, I hadn't killed Sadima when I had the chance. I had wanted him to suffer, just a bit, for the pain he caused. And he had used that chance to escape, to head to the camp, and now I just had to hope beyond all hopes that my mistakes wouldn't… that they wouldn't…!

"Sigurd, it's going to be okay." Though Deirdre struggled to keep up with the pace, she caught my hand and managed a smile for me. "I… I'm sure of it," she managed, the words shaking. Her eyes, however, held both love and belief, and my anxiety just melted away at the sight. She was so calming and so soothing… I felt like I could make it through anything, if she was with me. "B-besides, Sadima is nothing compared to… um…"

"Yes, I can't let this shake me," I replied, smiling for her. Her own smile grew. "Thank you, Deirdre. I needed to hear that."

"Oh, no, I just…" It was difficult to tell if she was flush with a blush or exertion, but I was sure it was both. "Um… eek!" She stumbled, but I caught her. "Thank you…"

"Deirdre, are you okay?" Quan asked, appearing beside me. He and Ayra joined Deirdre and me for this mad dash back to the camp, while the rest of the army secured the castle. Jamke _had_ been with us, but split off a while ago. "Sorry to drag you along, but we might need Silence…"

"I'm just fine," Deirdre reassured, smiling shyly. Ayra long pushed past us, sprinting towards camp while the three of us slowed a bit for a needed break. "I'm pleased to be of assistance."

"Scared?"

"Why would I be? I'm with Sigurd."

"Yeah, you're a perfect pair. You say cheesy things with a straight face just like him." He elbowed me in the side. "I'm going to get you to spill how you two met one of these days. Alcohol is a lovely thing for that."

"But it's so much fun to frustrate you!" I joked, feeling settled again. Yes, this was all my fault, but when I was with everyone, I knew nothing could stop us for long. They were my strength and I thanked the gods every day for them. "Better catch up to-"

"Guys, you should see this!" Ayra's voice echoed back, and I bolted down the path when I recognized the fear threading through the words. I caught up to her before long, and saw her standing rigidly at the edge of camp. "See?" she whispered, when she saw me. I gripped her shoulder and frowned when I _did_ see. There were a couple of bodies, and there was blood on the ground, but the camp itself was strangely… empty. It was devoid of anyone. No guards, no messengers, no soldiers… nothing living at all… "Where are they?"

There was no answer, and we both remained exactly where we were until Deirdre and Quan caught up. Then we wandered the camp, weapons drawn. I yelled angrily for Sadima, but only my voice seemed to echo back. Sensing I was unsettled again, Deirdre held my free hand to reassure me, and tugged me towards the one place in the camp that should've been full. But it wasn't. It wasn't at all.

"Even the infirmary is empty…" Quan murmured, peeking inside. It was a mess, with beds knocked over and blankets strewn about. And not one sign of the numerous patients. "Did they run?"

"I… I hope that's the case," Ayra whispered shakily. Her sword trembled at her side, and I could only wince. I should've left Arden to guard the camp. If I had, then… "Shanan, where are you…?"

"If they ran, they probably headed for the river." Quan let the tent's flap flutter shut and then stiffened. "Does anyone hear that?"

"Hear…?"

"There's some sort of scuffle that way," Deirdre whispered, pointing towards the supply tents, kept at the farthest point of the camp. Not a good place to hide, but if… say… an enemy wanted to steal a weapon… "I think."

It was a good place to start, and it was quickly proven correct. However, it was correct in one of the worst of ways. Because we _did_ find Sadima, but he was holding Alicia hostage. A _visibly scared_ Alicia, which screamed just how terrified she really was. I could only wince when Sadima taunted, "You should've just killed me, Baldur brat!" After all, he was right. I should've. And now Alicia was paying the price for it.

So, what else could I do but drop my weapon when he demanded it? And hold still when he said to. I knew that Sadima was focused more on me, so as soon as I was hit, Quan and Ayra could react and save Alicia. Now, hopefully, the spell wouldn't _kill_ me, just hurt really bad, but it was a risk I had to take. I was the leader of this army who made a mistake, and Alicia was the healer who volunteered to help with all this trouble and pain. And Alicia was a friend, a dear one. I couldn't risk her. I just… couldn't.

"BACK OFF!" However, Alicia's shout startled… well, all of us. Including Sadima, though that could've been because Alicia had screamed right in his ear. "Don't you dare!" she continued, struggling in his grip. At first, I thought she was screaming at Sadima, but she looked right at me, with eyes that burned. A defiant, fierce fire that nothing could quell. You often saw a quieter version when she was saving lives, but this wasn't quiet. It was 'loud' and piercing, like the sun during a summer's day. "Sigurd, don't you dare just stand around! Fight back! You're supposed to be saving Verdane from this madman, right?!"

"Shut up, wench!" Sadima growled, twisting his hand. The spell lashed across Alicia's abdomen, the blood staining her dress. Not really an usual thing to see, her in bloodstained clothes, but it was the first time it had been her own blood, to my knowledge. "Or you really will die!"

"You think I'm afraid of death? I'm a healer!" And Alicia kept on struggling. "I fight death every day and _win_!" She actually managed to bite Sadima's arm and he threw her into a torch. It fell on her, but she seemed mostly uninjured. Vala's power? Didn't matter. I was already running for Sadima, not even bothering to scoop up my sword just to have those extra couple of seconds to reach him before he cast another spell…

But it ended up not mattering. Because just as I reached Sadima, an arrow thudded right into his skull, between the eyes even. I couldn't help but smile as the body crumpled, not necessarily because of the death, but because I knew who had shot it. When I looked behind and up, I was proven right, because there was Jamke, crouched in the branches of a very tall tree. He must've been swinging from branch to branch to get a better view of the area. Or something.

"Made it," Jamke sighed, sitting on the branch now. Though it was hard to tell because of how the shadows fell across his face, I thought he might be crying. "It took a while to get a good line of sight. I'm sorry for taking so long."

"It's fine," I reassured, waving the apology off. Absently, I saw Quan and Ayra poking Sadima's body, making sure he was actually dead. "Hey, you happen to see-?" Deirdre's gasp made me whirl and I saw Alicia buckling. I barely caught her in time. "I've got you…" Seeing how she was on the edge of consciousness, I picked her up. And saw the bruising on her neck. Sadima had tried to strangle her first… "I've got you, Alicia."

Man, I really did just drag her into trouble, huh?

* * *

With Sadima dead, and the castle secured, the fighting was over. So, as typical when you had a large group of people together, the army threw a party to celebrate. I laughed and joked with all the soldiers, listening to their stories of home while keeping an eye out for any potential trouble. After all, there was alcohol, and some people were belligerent drunks. I worried briefly for Oifeye, but a quick check proved that he and Finn were asleep in the War tent. Another quick check showed that Shanan was asleep in the infirmary, as was Azel and a few others who helped out. Surprisingly, no Alicia, but that was because she _did_ have a weakness! She couldn't say 'no' to Deirdre, it seemed.

"So, if we want you to be social, we just have Deirdre ask you, huh?" I teased when I found her hiding on the edges of the crowd. There was a large fire and people were dancing. I saw Quan actually teaching Deirdre, to my amusement. "Good to know, good to know."

"Oh, no, I find such things exhilarating," Alicia deadpanned, sarcasm dripping off every word. She gave me a dirty look when I snickered, and I had to fight to keep from outright laughing. Both because it was amusing and because… well… It was so different than she had been when she first joined, where she would've endured with her stoicism. I was happy she had become comfortable enough to not _just_ be the calm healer around me. "Truly, it is thrilling."

"Isn't it?" I grinned and she pointedly ignored me, sipping her drink. "How are you doing?"

"I believe I made it obvious."

"Sorry, I meant your injuries." I could see the bruising on her neck still, and I knew she was bandaged. Her hair was also a bit shorter, but that was minor compared to the rest. Save that it served as another reminder of the danger she'd been in because of my stupidity. "How are you?"

"I am well. It's nothing that won't heal before long." She briefly touched her neck before going back to sipping her drink. I took a quick peek and saw it was the apple cider we set out for the people who didn't want to drink alcohol. She seemed to grab it whenever it was available. "If everyone is well in the morning, then it might even be healed tomorrow. We shall see."

"Then I'll hope that is the case." I thought about apologizing, but something told me that she would wave it off. So, instead, I tried to make a bit of a joke about things. "So, I know you've thrown something at me, but I think that's the first time I've seen you fight-fight. Sort of."

"I… have no training." She actually squirmed, clearly uncomfortable. "I was also very angry, and that… um…" And I had a feeling she was actually uncomfortable with the idea of hurting someone. Even someone like Sadima. "So…"

"I could tell you were angry." I grinned. "That's the second time you yelled at me!"

"I wasn't _angry_ at you last time. I was simply annoyed." She shook her head and grimaced. I remembered how troubled she'd been about losing her temper at me before. I had a feeling it wasn't just 'walls', but also a genuine desire to be reliable and helpful. Which made me worry all the more, truthfully. "This time, I was angry at the situation."

"Because you were a hostage?" I winced. "I am so-"

"I will not be used." Her words were very quiet, but just as fierce as her yelling had been before. The fire in her eyes were equally fierce when they met mine. "I will not be used against anyone, especially someone I care about. I think I told you that, once."

"Something similar, at the least." I remembered. It was the talk we had after Jamke attacked Marpha, when we discussed her heritage. She had been worn and bitter about it, not suited to the festivities at all. Thus, I made sure to shift the topic. She needed more cheer in her life. A lot more. "So, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you just admitted friendship."

"Yes…?" She frowned a bit, but it seemed more like in thought than anything. "That is a very odd thing."

"Having friends?"

"Deirdre and I have quite a bit in common." She smiled bitterly. "We were only 'tolerated', growing up."

"That's…" Well, it definitely explained why she couldn't say 'no' to Deirdre. But it only confirmed what I'd suspected. She had long been alone, with only her brothers for any sort of bond. "Have you never participated in a festival, then?"

"I've attended. I met Arvis during a harvest festival, actually." Now her smile was kind, warm, and happy. I tried to think of when Arvis ever came down to Jungby and remembered a Harvest festival nine or ten years ago where I'd led him to Ring's office. It had been Quan and Eldigan's first time at a Granvallian festival. I wondered if it was the same one. "But I never really played any of the games or anything, no. I would watch the dances, but I most often spent the time studying."

"I'm somehow unsurprised." It certainly did explain why she was so skilled, and why she had so much memorized. "Well, in that case, you're long overdue."

"I'm… what?" She frowned, and frowned more when I took her empty mug and set it to the side. "What are you plotting?"

"This!" And I took her hand and dragged her right into the dancing to show her how.

The glare she gave me hinted to some sort of retaliation later, but I didn't mind. It was her letting down her walls, and honestly, I doubted the retaliation would be much different than what, say, Ethlyn or Aideen would do. I'd say it would be worth the trouble.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Will admit that I hadn't really thought about Sigurd's point of view during this scene in Chapter 7 of _Memoirs of the Holy War_ , but while I was re-reading the chapter, I thought it might be fun to explore that, and have the two interacting at the party briefly mentioned at the end of that chapter. So… uh… here? The harvest festival Alicia and Sigurd mention shows up in Chapter 1 of _Memoirs of Velthomer_.


	17. Ache

Ache

_Jamke - Gran 757_

* * *

The army was loud. Not surprising, given the number of people, but their cheerful laughter echoed through the trees a little too much for me. At least, for the moment. After all, I had gone to the outskirts of the camp and hid among the branches of the tallest tree I could find to _get away_. I didn't want to begrudge them for celebrating, but there was only so much I could handle. Everything ached, from my arms and back to my heart and soul.

Sighing, I leaned more against the trunk of the tree, watching the leaves rustle in the wind around me. After a moment, I looked down at my hands, remembering the feel of the bow and arrow as I aimed and took Sadima's life. You'd think I'd feel better about it, but I didn't. I didn't, because in the end, Sadima stole… everything. My country was ruined. My people were bleeding. My family was dead. You'd think I'd at least be apathetic about my brothers' deaths, but I found myself wishing I could argue with them one more time. Scoff at their insults and 'politely' insult them in turn. Because it would mean they were alive. It would mean they were alive, and maybe if they were alive, then Father would not have… Father would…

My vision blurred and I covered my face in my hands to stem and quiet the tears. And hoping the tears would wash away the feeling of holding Father's dying body in my arms. Feeling his pulse slow with every beat. Feeling his breath grow shallower and shallower. Feeling his blood seep under my armor. Helpless as he smiled and apologized, told me how proud he was. It was like I'd been six years old again, holding onto Mother's hand as the illness slowly sapped away all of her life and strength. But it was worse, because children were supposed to be helpless. I was an adult now, one who had trained to be strong. I even chose to specialize in archery because you could protect more people from a greater distance. But it hadn't mattered. It hadn't mattered at all.

Life and Death were the strongest forces in existence, and gods, did they ever like reminding us mortals of that fact.

"Ah, so that's why the spirits are feeling sad." Deirdre's gentle voice called my attention down, and I saw her smile was just as gentle. "They want to give you comfort, but you never learned how to hear them," she murmured, still smiling. After rubbing roughly at my eyes, I climbed down so that she wouldn't have to hurt her neck looking up. I'd been up high. "Ah, wait, that sounded patronizing, didn't it?"

"I think only you folk of the Spirit Forest know anything about hearing spirits," I reminded, making myself smile, slightly. I had to say it was weird, though. I'd long heard tales of the people who lived deep within the Spirit Forest, mostly about how they weren't fully human, descended from spirits and fairies. And I had to admit that Deirdre's looks gave that sort of impression, being frailer and more delicate than the typical Verdanite. "What brings you out here? The spirits?"

"Mostly." She glanced at the army, all partying by a fire. "I am not used to so many people."

"I can imagine." That reminded me of how there were stories about how, if you wandered too deep, the denizens of the Forest would spirit you away, never to return. I almost asked, but thankfully, the manners Mother beat into my skull as a toddler and child reigned supreme. Just barely. "Are the spirits really sad just because of me?"

"No, but it's why they're clustering here, instead of assisting the newly dead." She rested her hand on the smooth bark of the tree, looking up at the branches. "...I think your father made the journey safely. Though they are sad, they are not fretting." She returned her attention to me, smiling kindly yet sadly. "I… that is the only comforting words I can think of. I don't know… I never knew my father, and my mother died in childbirth. I have no family. So, I don't know the pain you're going through or if there even is a way to lessen it, but..."

"...It's good to know his spirit isn't trapped here." It really was. You had stories of those who died with regrets being tied to the land. "Mother can give him a good scolding."

"Is that… a good thing?" She tilted her head in confusion, but giggled when I nodded. "Then I hope she is."

Just then, Aideen called for Deirdre and, after giving me a little bow, Deirdre returned to the party, where Aideen waited with Ethlyn and Miss Alicia. At the same time, Sigurd was walking towards me, and though he briefly stopped to catch Deirdre by the hand to kiss her cheek, he didn't linger, not even to grin at how deeply she blushed. Instead, he continued walking straight for me, and his worried eyes hinted he'd been looking for me for a while.

"There you are," he whispered, confirming my suspicion. He studied my face, and I knew he saw the tears I'd shed. It wasn't as if I'd had time to hide the 'evidence', really. "Would you like me to tell everyone to start heading for bed?"

"Hmm? Ah, no," I replied, startled. I hadn't even considered that option. "No, celebrations should occur with battles end."

"Does it feel that way, or…?" He kept studying my expression, and after a moment, I got it. He knew I was hurting. He was making sure that I didn't feel like they were mocking my pain, or celebrating my father's death. "Ah, I'm probably muddling things, huh?"

"No, you are just a very considerate worrywart." But it was nice to see him recognize that today was a bad day for me. "I do worry about the peace negotiations, though."

"I'll vouch for you, so that should help smooth things." He smiled, relieved, and I managed to smile back. I was desperately worried that Grannvale would seize Verdane in retaliation for this. "My worry is more on Sadima."

"Ah, yes." That was a pretty large worry. For a number of reasons. "Have you ever led a Hunt, Sigurd?"

"No, never." His answer didn't surprise me, though the quiet anger in those two words did. I quickly decided against mentioning that I had. Just once. It had been enough to make me sick. Father had stated it was my empathy… and it was why Father never disinherited my brothers. A king had to prepare to deal with enemies harshly, and Loptyrians were the enemy. I didn't understand why you had to _kill_ children for it instead of just giving them to other families. "They're not done in Chalphy."

"They're not?" Strange, I had heard Grannvale was particularly vigilant in the Hunts.

"Father finds the practice detestable, and passed that to both my sister and myself. Dismissed quite a few tutors who tried to teach us otherwise." He shrugged and crossed his arms, leaning against the tree. "I personally don't understand why we have to hold people in the present accountable for crimes done a century ago. As if children choose their parents, or descendants pick their ancestors." He focused his attention on me. "You bring it up because Sadima used dark magic."

"Yes…" Letting people know that there were Loptyrians _actively_ fighting? It seemed like a recipe for mass hysteria, with people slaughtering each other left and right. "I'm not sure I could control my people's anger…" They were angry enough at Sadima.

"And if word reached Grannvale…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Probably best to leave it out of the official report, and have people investigate subtly."

"Of course." I couldn't help but be saddened by that, though. After all, that meant blame for this would fall on my father and…

"So, with your permission, I was thinking we blame your brothers?" His voice was hesitant, and if I wasn't so startled, I probably would've found it amusing that even after what my brothers did, he still was so careful. "I know my king will believe it. It was your brothers who attacked us, after all."

"That… is true." I smiled once the shock faded, almost chuckling because he had read me so easily. I didn't want my father's legacy of peace to be so tainted. "I can agree to that." But that did leave to one concern. "Are you going to be able to lie, though?"

"Hmm? Is it a lie? All I have to do is say that your brothers attacked and not say anything about Sadima." He widened his eyes innocently before snickering. "Besides, that'll be Quan's problem. He might be my brother-in-law, but he's the Prince of Leonster, meaning he can serve as a neutral party in negotiations. So, _he_ gets to lie." He grinned and I burst into laughter, unable to help it. It was startling that I _could_ laugh after today, but… well, there was something soothing and healing about Sigurd. It was the same reason why Ayra and Shanan were able to thrive in this army. "Ah, that's enough being serious. Do you want to continue being alone, or would you like to join the festivities?"

"I…" I hesitated and closed my eyes to weigh the options. The wind rustled through the leaves, and I thought I heard Father's voice urging me on. "I think I could use a drink, actually. A strong one."

"Not sure how strong we've got, but I'm sure we'll find something." Sigurd smiled and slung his arm around my shoulder to lead me into the noisy crowd. "Let's find Alec. I'm sure he's convinced half the army to participate in a drinking context anyway."

Alec had, in fact, gotten half the army drunk in a drinking contest, but he himself was sober enough to give recommendations for me. After that, I stayed near the edges, sipping my drink, enjoying the atmosphere but not wanting to really participate-participate. No one forced me, and many actually came to talk to me. Dew actually attached himself to me, telling me all sorts of ridiculous stories that made me laugh, while Aideen and Sigurd both frequently checked on how I was doing. I even had a conversation with Midir about the benefits of different types of bows, impressed by his extensive knowledge.

...I'd make it through this. I'd restore the broken trust, and rebuild Verdane into the peaceful kingdom Father first forged. And, in time, the ache in my heart would ease. I'd heal. In time.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Have another Jamke, mourning his father's death and a bit of talk about the cover story for things. (Said cover story is mentioned in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ )


	18. Picnic

Picnic

_Azel - Gran 757_

* * *

"Azel, don't go too far ahead!" Arvis's voice echoed behind me, but I just turned to stick my tongue out at him and kept on racing through the apple grove to hunt for the _perfect_ spot. After all, today was our very first family outing! It had to be perfect! "Azel!"

"Azel, we're losing sight of you!" Alicia called, bringing logic into the fretting. Both of them were champion fretters, after all. "Actually, where _did_ he go?"

"Over here!" I laughed, jumping out from behind a tree. And promptly tripping. "Wah!"

"Azel!" Arvis yelped, surging forward to catch me. He almost dropped the basket to do so, but caught it too. "This is why you shouldn't run like that!"

"Oh, come on! I'm excited!" I grinned up at him and he sighed, but smiled indulgently. "Who has the blanket again?"

"I do," Alicia answered, joining us. She wore slightly fancier clothing than normal, new clothes Arvis had Aida buy, but for the most part, she looked the same as always. Except she smiled much more, probably because she didn't have to be the healer here. She and Arvis were on break, and I was determined to make sure they remembered that! "Why are you rushing about anyway? Are you that eager to eat?"

"I get to eat your cooking for the first time!" I laughed. Because it was true. Alicia had insisted on making the food for our family picnic. "Of course I'm eager!"

"You're so silly." She muffled a laugh and smiled at Arvis. "Well, we should find a spot to sit down, then."

"Follow me!" And I was off again, laughing. I wondered if this was what it felt to be a 'normal' child. I certainly did feel like I was emulating Tailtiu, even if Tailtiu wasn't exactly 'normal'.

A couple of stumbles later, I found the perfect spot and helped Alicia spread out the blanket (which was probably fancier than most picnic blankets, but was the simplest one we had). Arvis set down the basket and scrambled up a nearby tree like a cat to pick some of the apples. I wasn't sure why there was fresh fruit, considering how cold it was, but supposedly, there were apples that had a 'peak season' around this time or something. Whatever the reason, there were always fresh apples here in the grove, and they were always delicious!

"Hey, Arvis, when will you teach me how to climb?" I asked around a mouthful of apple. I purposely skipped breakfast, so I was hungry and munched while Arvis continued getting apples and Alicia set out the food. She'd apologized for it being 'simple fare', but I thought it looked scrumptious! 'Scrum-diddly-umptious', as Tailtiu would say. "Or at least tell me why you're so good at it!"

"He keeps locking himself out of his office," Alicia answered easily. I fell over laughing, and laughed even harder when Arvis wordlessly protested above. "Aida refuses to teach him how to pick locks." She looked up at him, frowning. "I do wish you wouldn't do that, though. What if you get hurt?"

"He hasn't yet!"

"I believe that in a world where Sigurd of all people gets a fiance, anything is possible." She still continued frowning, and I still kept on laughing. My stomach hurt! "At least promise me you won't teach Azel?"

"Aw, come on!"

"I think I can agree to that," Arvis agreed, swinging down from the branches with ease. I managed to stop laughing long enough to scowl. "Azel, if I teach you, then Lex and Tailtiu are going to want to learn. And since I definitely won't teach them, they'll badger you."

"Oh, please, Lex gets into enough trouble as is," Alicia sighed. Still, she was smiling. "Has anyone told you about how he likes pulling Lady Ayra's tail?"

"I don't think anyone has even really told me _who_ this Ayra is, aside from being the princess of Isaach." Arvis's expression darkened. "I worry for Sigurd. I agree with him, of course, but given the political cli-"

"Nope!" I interrupted, picking up a random cookie and shoving it into his mouth. Well, mostly in his mouth. I might've almost choked him. "Break. We're on _break_! No serious stuff! Aida's orders!" I grinned at them both. "But, I think that's a good lead-in to a story!"

I eagerly began telling them about some of the shenanigans the army got into, things Alicia missed because she was always in the infirmary. It didn't take long at all for them to both be laughing, which just… made everything better. This felt like how things _should_ have been, and would've been if our family hadn't been so complicated. Just us in the grove, laughing and eating, enjoying time with each other. It was a shame Alicia could only spend a month here with us, but I knew this wouldn't be the last visit. And when we were all together again, we'd have another picnic and laugh, just like this. I looked forward to it.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, little bit of family fluff. This is the picnic Arvis and Alicia briefly plan during the last scene of Interlude - Family in _Memoirs of the Holy War_.


	19. Memory

Memory

_Ethlyn - Gran 758_

* * *

There were many things I would always remember. Many, many things, and it felt like every time I was with my family, I gained at least one more if not more. Today was another one of those days. Why? Because it was the day Sigurd met Altena.

"Aaaand up we go~!" Sigurd laughed, holding Altena high above his head and spinning around. Altena laughed and smiled at the game, squirming from enjoyment. Sigurd kept on spinning even as he brought her down into a hug, laughing with her. "You like high places, huh? Wonder where you got that from. Not Quan, that's for sure. Anything higher than a horse makes him green in the face!"

"I do _not_!" Quan immediately protested. The three of us (well, four of us) were in the room Quan and I set up in at Evans, and he was supposed to be making me tea (specifically, the mix Alicia made me). But Sigurd kept on teasing him and making him forget. I couldn't be mad, though, because I was having so much fun watching. Even if I did almost fall off the bed from laughing so hard. "Sigurd, don't fill my daughter's head with stories!"

"Even if they're true?" Sigurd grinned and cuddled with Altena, who gurgled happily. And drooled on his shirt, but Sigurd didn't care. I wondered if he'd be so nonchalant if she spat up on him… and then decided he'd laugh it off. Honestly, I couldn't wait for him to be a father and not just because I looked forward to being an aunt. I just knew he'd be a good one. Look at Oifeye! "Someone has to make sure she doesn't put you on a pedestal."

"Watch it! I'm going to do the same for your kid!"

"Not sure why you think that's a threat, but sure, go ahead." Sigurd grinned and Quan groaned. I could only laugh even harder because it was rather true. I wouldn't say that Sigurd didn't have secrets or anything, but he had told Oifeye many of the stupid things he'd done over the years as lessons. I had no doubts he'd do the same with his own child. "Besides, we're telling Ares all the stupid things Eldigan got into as soon as possible."

"Well, yes, that is true." The two shared a grin and I beamed at them. I was just glad everything was happy. Last night, the three of us had been in a serious conversation where Sigurd apologized for all the trouble, since Quan and I decided to stay in Evans with him instead of returning to Leonster after the wedding. We were worried. "...Wait, I was in the middle of something. What was I doing?"

"Probably involving spoiling my darling little sister who deserves it because she has to deal with us." Sigurd grinned at me, and I pretended to be haughty for all of a second before smiling at how Altena just looked so _happy_ cuddled up on his chest. "So…" Someone knocked on the door. "Is that Finn?"

"No, he's in the market with Oifeye and Shanan. It's why he's not here." Quite true. Altena _loved_ Finn and we learned quickly that he was easily the best and getting her to settle in for naps. "Ah, sorry, come in!"

"Sorry to bother…" Deirdre hesitantly opened the door, and stepped inside with a sheepish smile. "We just got done," she explained, shifting slightly so that we could see Alicia behind her. It was still a shock seeing Alicia outside the infirmary, but it was something I was gradually getting used to because she actually had one big weakness; she had a complete inability to say 'no' to Deirdre. Which Deirdre unknowingly took advantage of because Deirdre was still getting used to all of us, but bonded with Alicia quickly, so she often requested Alicia to come with her to things that involved people. I wasn't quite sure how they bonded, but Sigurd had mentioned 'similar backgrounds' and left it at that. "Um…"

"Perfect timing, dear," Sigurd greeted, smiling warmly at her. Deirdre immediately blushed yet brightened at his smile, like a flower in the sun. "Over here, over here. Altena's all curious about you." That she was. She was reaching over and everything. "See?"

"Oh, she's so little…" Deirdre carefully walked over, so hesitant, and Alicia followed her, closing the door behind them. "Little and chubby." She shook her head when Sigurd tried to pass Altena to her. "Oh, no! I don't know how to hold…"

"It's not hard, but…" Sigurd smiled and then handed Altena to Alicia instead. "She needs to get used to Alicia quick, since I'm sure Alicia's going to be fretting over her health like everyone else!"

That was probably true, because Alicia was a worse fusspot than me, but I did feel like protesting a little bit since, you know, I was a healer too, but I instead decided I'd enjoy taking in a sight I thought I would never witness: Alicia being awkward. Oh, she held Altena correctly and everything. But her hesitant posture and wide eyes showed that she had no idea what to do besides that, especially when Altena reached up and grabbed her hair. And I found that _hilarious_ because I was just so used to seeing her as competent at like… everything she did! But I supposed she did only really do things related to being the healer.

I still had to giggle when Alicia immediately showed Deirdre how to properly hold a baby, supporting the head and everything, and quickly escaped while Sigurd and Deirdre cooed over Altena, with Deirdre just blossoming under the smiles. She'd be a good mother. I could feel it. I really couldn't wait.

"Ah, right, I was supposed to make tea!" Quan groaned, facepalming. I tore my attention from Sigurd and Deirdre to see Alicia had taken over making the tea. She held up the tin of the tea mix she had made me and caught my eye curious. I nodded, beaming, and her answering smile was slight, but happy. "I'm sorry, dear."

"It's fine, Quan," I reassured, standing up so that I could kiss him on the cheek. I then leaned into him and he wrapped an arm around my waist. "I was laughing so hard that I wouldn't have been able to drink it anyway!"

"I'll make it up." He got a stubborn look on his face, so I just sighed and nodded. Pointless to try and argue when he got like that. "Promise." He leaned down and kissed me. "What a good way to spend the afternoon."

"Yes!" That was why I'd remember this day until I was old and grey, recounting it on my deathbed. It was far, far too precious.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: It's mentioned in _Memoirs of the Holy War_ (want to say Interlude - Meetings) that in the time between interludes between Game-Chapter 1 and Game-Chapter 2, Ethlyn and Quan sent for Altena. So, have Sigurd meeting his niece for the first time. It's also mentioned in the same interlude that Altena had grabbed Alicia's hair, and Quan brings up that Alicia is awkward around babies, so have that too.


	20. Roses

Roses

_Sigurd - Gran 758_

* * *

"Why are roses associated with romance?" I asked as I looked through some growing in the garden. I wondered if it was something Ethlyn once babbled about, but I had no idea. "And what other flowers are associated with love?"

"Why, Sigurd, are you constructing a message in a bouquet for your lady love~?" Aideen teased, giggling. I wasn't sure why she was in the gardens, but whatever the reason, it clearly wasn't as important as teasing me. "Oh, how romantic~!"

"I've done it with you before?"

"You have, yes, but this is _different_!" She kept on giggling and I decided to simply yield to her. Wasn't like I had much romantic experience. Or any, really. "There's a few, but we should go to a florist for that. For now, just go with roses. Deirdre is fascinated by them."

"She's fascinated by most flowers." The Spirit Forest had plenty of flowers, of course, but only those that could grow with minimal light. So, things like the gardens were places of wonder for her. That was why I wanted to give her some. "I suppose I should stick with the classic red for now."

"Yes, because I'm sure she knows what a red rose symbolizes." Aideen kept on giggling, though, and leaned on my back when I knelt down to pick some roses. "I can't believe you had a love and didn't tell me! I told you about…" She looked around cautiously before continuing in a whisper. "About my feelings for Midir."

"It's so fun to scandalize you, though." I grinned at her and she swatted my shoulder. "Is Deirdre doing okay? She tells me she is, but I can see she's frazzled…"

"Nothing that Ethlyn didn't go through during the days before her wedding." Which Aideen would know better than me. Aideen had been Ethlyn's Maid of Honor, after all. "I'm a tad more worried about Alicia, since Alicia's helping plan all of it!"

"Like you're not helping!"

"Well, of course I am. Weddings take a lot of time." Aideen pointed to one rose in particular, just above where I was picking. "Take that one. You're removing the thorns, right?"

"Well, of course I am." I plucked the rose requested and gathered them all together, smiling. "I think this is enough? For now, at least."

"Mmm… no, one more!" She pointed to another one, and I picked it too to add to the bouquet. She was definitely the expert of us two, after all. "There! Nine!"

"Special meaning?"

"In Grannvale, nine roses means 'eternal love' and 'I want to be with you forever'. Which, trust me, I will be sure to make sure Deirdre knows~!" Aideen giggled, yet again, and straightened so that I could actually stand up. "I'm happy for you, you know? She's absolutely wonderful and she seems to know just what to say to make you smile."

"Thank you, Aideen." I leaned down a bit to kiss her forehead before resting mine against hers. "Think you'll confess to Midir? I know he makes you happy as well."

"W-well…" Aideen began to blush, but she smiled. "I am… considering it more. But first, I want Jungby to recover a bit more."

"Of course." Part of me did want to prod more, but honestly, that was the closest she had ever gotten to saying 'I will'. "Ah, I should get these to Deirdre. Where is she?"

"Probably having tea with Alicia, since they finished up getting fitted for their dresses not long ago." Aideen smiled and began pushing me down the path. "And no peeking at the dress! You get to see it during the wedding, mister!"

"Okay, okay!"

Aideen pushed me all the way into the castle before leaving to do whatever she had been doing before. I caught her in a hug before heading to the infirmary. Because whenever Alicia was involved, the infirmary was the first place to check. And, lo and behold, I was correct in that she and Deirdre were there, even though there were no patients. Alicia noticed me first, but when she saw the flowers, she smiled knowingly and made an excuse to duck into the back. Leaving me free to give Deirdre the bouquet without an audience. Letting me bask in the beauty and warmth of her smile all by myself.

Roses suited Deirdre well. I'd have to give her more, later.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Quick, short little thing to show more of Aideen and Sigurd's friendship. And it's Valentine's day, so why not?


	21. Friend

Friend

_Ethlyn - Gran 758_

* * *

There was something you didn't quite realize about Alicia when you first met her and it was just how _quiet_ her affection was. Or, so I thought I was learning. I could be completely wrong. I had been before. But there was the tea mix she had made me, personalized for both my tastes and health. There was how, despite her own discomfort, she was always with Deirdre whenever she needed it. And there was how she was sitting at the back table of the infirmary, sewing something while reading a book. A book that detailed common infant ailments and various ways to cure them. Next to it was another book about the changes a baby went through, and how to tell if something was amiss.

"Are you reading that because of Altena?" I asked finally, since I'd rudely just stood behind her to read over her shoulder. She had simply waited for me, still sewing. And sewing-sewing this time, not mending as she normally was. "That's so sweet~!"

"I simply need to know how best to take care of her if she comes down with something while you are out and about," she replied, deflecting the compliment. And the extra effort it was. I mean… she was often running around planning the wedding, on top of serving as the Chief Healer still. Sure, Aideen and I pulled shifts, but… "What brought you in here? Are you hurt?"

"No, I just wanted to see you!" I grinned and ignored the mildly confused look that flitted across her otherwise calm face. "Though, there is a question I've been wondering."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Checking to make sure a space was clear, I lifted myself up to sit on the table. Yes, there was a chair, but chairs were boring. And I wanted to kick my legs a bit. Just because. "I was curious just how long you've been healing."

"I… hmm…" She paused in her sewing and closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair. The infirmary was quiet, quiet enough that in the distance, I could hear soldiers laughing. But they sounded so far away, like another world entirely. "Well, I have been an official healer since I was sixteen. You can't be an 'official' one until you're of age. But I've been studying since… oh, I think I was five or six."

"Really?" That surprised me. "You knew you wanted to be a healer that young?"

"Well, I knew I didn't want to be a cleric or whatever else the church taught little girls." She laughed softly, but there was a bitterness to it as well. "It's what the church does with most of the orphans in their care. They tell you to pick a path out of the options, and then they give you lessons. That way, when you grow up, you're thankful for the opportunities you were given and can conveniently donate your time and money back."

"Ah." Well, that was cynical. "Still, that's young."

"Children learn quickly." She went back to sewing, and I was curious about what it was. But I couldn't see much besides something lacy. "I was twelve when I first started shadowing a healer and tending to patients. _That_ was a bit earlier than the norm, but I was ahead of the others in my year."

"Because you're gifted?"

"Hardly!" She laughed like I'd said a joke. I'd… actually been serious. "No, the others who started studying at the same time actually had friends and family to spend time with. Since I had neither on a regular basis, I simply studied ahead and studied more."

"...No friends at all?"

"No, none. Every time you shove strange children together, one of them is going to be deemed the odd one. The outsider. And that was me." She said it easily, like she had no quarrel with it, but I found it so sad. And I knew better than to trust what I _saw_ when it came to Alicia's feelings. "Well, in hindsight, I _was_ the odd one. For one thing, I wasn't allowed outside the church until I was five, and had to wear a hood until I was… eight or nine."

"Why?" I frowned, and that frown only deepened when she paused in her sewing long enough to point to her hair. Velthomer-red… "Your father was dead by then, right?"

"He died when I was around a year old, because he was a melodramatic hypocrite." Her voice hardened and her grip on the needle tightened. But then it all smoothed away, back to the calm she always wore. "However, a young child running around with that distinctive hair would've raise questions. Dangerous questions."

"I see…" I bit my lip, just… realizing what Sigurd had meant by 'similar backgrounds' when it came to her and Deirdre. Deirdre had told me a bit about her life prior, and it was so… I wasn't sure I would've survived such loneliness. "You know… Aideen joined the church a few years ago…"

"She joined the year after I moved out and into a home of my own. And the strange healer girl wasn't proper company for the Jungby princess. Another person in my age-group was her helper, since she started so late." Back to relaying things easily. But I supposed it _was_ easy when it was all you knew. "Why were you wondering, by the way?"

"Just curious. You're very skilled, after all." And I half-remembered Sigurd being worried that she'd been lonely growing up because of that. "Well, it's their loss."

"Pardon?" She stopped sewing and tilted her head up to look at me. "Who are you talking about?"

"Those children. Not getting close to you was their loss. You're a wonderful friend, Alicia." I hopped off the table so that I could hug her. She just blinked owlishly at me, very confused by my words. "Also, since that got sadder than I'd intended, what exactly are you sewing?" Subject changes were very needed right now!

"Huh? Ah…" Alicia looked away sheepishly before holding it up. And I realized in an instance just what it was: a wedding veil. What I had thought was lace was really her carefully embroidering flowers. "In Verdane, it's apparently traditional for the Maid of Honor to make this for the bride, so…"

"It's so pretty…" It really was. Simple, simpler than I personally would've wanted for _my_ wedding, but it would suit Deirdre's wedding dress perfectly. "I was wondering why Deirdre wasn't looking for veils. I thought Verdanite weddings just… didn't have their brides wearing them."

"No, they do, though they don't wear it past the ceremony." She looked at it and then hesitantly glanced at me. "Do you mind… helping a-?"

"I would love to!" After all, it was for Deirdre and, honestly, it was the first non-infirmary, non-healing thing Alicia had asked help with. And her relieved smile was probably the realest smile I'd seen her wear. "Here, I'll clean off the table." When I moved the books, I noticed that there were very subtle, yet noticeable, bookmarks at certain pages. Bookmarks with one-word notes to let her know what was there. "Friends help each other, after all~!"

It was a bit of a trial, learning how to be Alicia's friend, mostly because _she_ had to learn what it was like to be a friend and to have friends. But I knew it was well worth the effort, and I'd keep going. Couldn't leave all the friend-making to Sigurd, after all! Now if only I could get her to drop the title with me… eh, baby steps.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: I'd planned for a different oneshot, and then this wouldn't leave me alone. Not really much else to say


	22. Heart

Heart

_Lachesis POV - Gran 758_

* * *

"Aaaaaaand… peekaboo!" I loved playing with Ares. He had the sweetest smile and the most joyful laugh. "Here I am!" I laughed, tickling his belly. Ares squirmed, but laughed too, kicking his feet out with a surprisingly amount of strength, given that he was a baby. Then again, Hezul. "Who's the happiest baby ever~?" Seriously, he was just so… I was sure he'd be just as happy and bright when he was older. "You're so cute, Ares~! I could just eat you up!"

"Please don't eat my son," Eldie noted dryly, barely even paying attention as he sat at his desk, going through his letters. It was a habit the two of us had fallen into ever since Father died, where he and I would spend quiet time together. A moment where both of us could just be ourselves and not worry so much about our titles. Grahnye would sometimes join us, but after Ares was born, she often took the opportunity to take a much-needed nap while Eldie and I watched Ares. Or, rather, Eldie sat at his desk and I sprawled out on the floor playing with Ares. "I'll marry you off to… oh, what's the nickname Quan gave him?"

"Elidiot!" I couldn't help but laugh. For one thing, I knew Eldie would sooner run Elliot through than let him come anywhere near me. For another, I really did find that nickname hilarious. It also warmed my heart because Quan started calling him that after I'd ranted about how Elliot kept harassing me. Mostly because I'd refused to let Quan kill the guy. No need to trigger a civil war. "And it's your fault for having so sweet of a son! Must've gotten it from Grahnye."

"Or he's absorbing it from all the fussing like a sponge." Eldie frowned at a particularly fancy looking envelope and snagged his letter opener to see what was inside. Though I knew he wasn't paying attention, I still made a face at him. A sponge? He was no sponge cake! "Still odd, being a father."

"Just wait until he's old enough to talk!" I grinned at him, and Eldie playfully groaned. And thankfully didn't say… what everyone else said when the topic of babies and 'becoming a parent' came up…

'So, when is it going to be your turn?' I'd heard that question too many times over the past few months. I always wanted to punch the askers for that, though I kept the polite smile and just shrugged in answer. Most were surprise I wasn't arranged to be married, since Father had done that for Eldie, but Father had felt bad about using Eldie as a bargaining chip like that to secure a trade deal (Eldie never minded). So, I was free to choose my spouse… or, really, to choose to not marry. Because I wasn't going to. Not ever.

Eldie and I didn't have the same mother. Well, at least, we weren't born from the same mother. We were half-siblings, because Eldie's mother had died when he was little, during one of the many 'territorial disputes' that plagued Agustria, and unwittingly, she took a piece of Father's heart with her to the afterlife. And when, years later, my own mother died from illness, she accidentally took another piece, leaving Father to slowly 'bleed out' from the two holes in his heart. Slowly become a shell of himself, with one foot in the afterlife…

I didn't want that. I was scared of that. If I had to give my heart to someone, then it should be someone like Eldie. Not just kind and gentlemanly, but someone who would not die easily, losing only to time. Someone just as strong and mighty in battle. And only Quan and Sigurd were even close to that. So, no, I would never fall in love. I would never marry. Because I doubted there was anyone as unstoppable, as invincible, as those three, while also being as kind and gentle.

"Oh, well, this is interesting," Eldie murmured, dragging me from my thoughts. To hide that I'd been woolgathering, I took Ares's hands and 'danced' with him. It was a game he loved. "It seems Sigurd is getting married."

"Really?" I replied absently, still half in my thoughts. "Oh, that's niiii… WAIT, WHAT?!" My shocked shriek was so loud that it startled and scared Ares into tears. "Ack! I'm sorry!" Quickly, I picked Ares up and bounced him in my arms. It took a bit for him to settle down to enjoy the 'game', but thankfully, it was a trick that almost always worked. "Uh… so… Eldigan, what was that again?"

"Sigurd is getting married." He held up the invitation for emphasis, and it was simple yet elegant. I could see the second, most personal note in Eldie's other hand. "We have, of course, been invited."

"Well, of course we… what do you _mean_ Sigurd is getting married?!" I just couldn't comprehend it, really. Sigurd? In all the years I'd known him (which was a while), I had never even seen him have a crush! Sure, he could admit people were pretty and desirable, but it was like his heart was in… well, no, not a steel cage because he was just so kind and warm. It was more like the sun, which shone brightly on its own and had no desire for company. "To who!?"

"I think it's 'whom', actually? I can't remember grammar at the moment. Oh, how our tutors would weap." He shrugged and set the formal invitation down to read the personal note, smiling as he always did when Sigurd was involved. "Regardless, the woman's name is Deirdre."

"I don't… know that name…?" I stood up and walked over, still carrying (now calm) Ares. Who tried to grab my earrings, but I held him just far enough away. "Are you telling me that not only is Sigurd getting married, but he's getting married to someone we don't know?!" That was…!

"Seems so." Eldie didn't seem to mind, but me? I was hurt. Childish and bratty it may be, but I just… "Well, this will be interesting. Shall we leave in the morning? I want to meet this Deirdre as soon as we can." He chuckled, just… amused. Which made me feel brattier. "I've seen dozens of women try to woo Sigurd and fail miserably. I wonder just what sort of person she is."

"Well, _we_ don't know." I even sounded whiny. But seriously, just what was this? I'd read stories of evil witches who made love potions. Were those stories true?! "But I guess we'll find out." If she _was_ a witch, then… well, I'd deal with her. No one hurt my family and got away with it. No one. "Hmph!"

"Please don't walk in there thinking determined to hate her." Eldie's smile disappeared as he looked out the window. His study had a beautiful view of Nordion, but his unfocused eyes told me he wasn't seeing it. "This will be a convenient opportunity to warn Sigurd and Quan anyway. I want them to be prepared for the worst case scenario. Just in case."

I went cold at the reminder and held Ares a little more tightly as I thought of just what he was talking about. An ill king, talks of war… none of it boded well. B-but we would be fine. We were house Nordion, after all, Heirs to Hezul, the Black Knight. We would be fine...

* * *

Though I had promised (eventually) to not be determined to _hate_ Deirdre on sight, I _was_ determined to be wary. Very wary. But one look at Sigurd's happy smile nearly made my resistance disappear, because was it really so bad if he was _this_ happy? And knowing that no-nonsense Alicia was friends with this Deirdre did make me think things were… well, possibly okay. Maybe? Not like I knew Alicia well, but I knew she'd (probably) tell Sigurd he was being an idiot. Maybe. Regardless, I was still determined because if she was deceiving everyone, then I'd cut her down! So I swore… riiiight up until I met her. Her shy yet sweet smile and utter adoration of Sigurd just… it was impossible to hate her! How annoying!

"I'm not sure if it's a testament to Sigurd's skills as a caretaker and potential father, or if it's just a sign that he's a child at heart, but wow, he wins over babies as easily as he wins over allies," I joked, holding my stomach because I was laughing so much. But there was something just so _fun_ about watching Sigurd play with Ares. And Altena, because Altena didn't like that she now had to share her uncle! "What do you think, Deirdre?"

"Hmm? Ah… well…" Deirdre stammered, ducking her head. This was the first chance I had gotten to talk to her without anyone else. Ethlyn and Grahnye were sharing stories of the early days of motherhood and how big of dunces their husbands could be, while both Quan and Eldie protested and tried to justify themselves. Sigurd, of course, was playing with the babies, and Alicia _had_ been here, but she had since disappeared. Probably to the infirmary. Or her room. If her room wasn't _in_ the infirmary. "I think it's that they know his kindness and that they know they will be safe with him… Shanan adores him for similar reasons, as does Oifeye."

"Mmm, true, true." I watched Sigurd play with the children a bit more, overjoyed by just how much Altena and Ares were laughing. I had a feeling that even when they were older, they would turn to Sigurd as a source of safety. As a person they could turn to for advice and solace. "I guess we'll see what it is whenever you and Sigurd have children, right?" Well, that was probably mean to say. She might not want children, though it _was_ kind of expected of nobles. Particularly those with Major Holy Blood.

"I…!" That said, Deirdre's bright red blush and the failed attempt to hide her face with her hands, hinted she didn't mind. "Oh, goodness…"

"You are a blushy one, aren't you?" It was actually kind of amusing… and maybe a bit irritating because she was just so freaking beautiful! Even her blush was pretty, damn it! I wondered where she was from, since I'd never seen anyone with such frail and delicate features. It was like she was a fairy spun to life. Maybe she was? I'd read a story about a fairy who made a bargain with a witch to become human so that she could be with the person she fell in love with. "Ethlyn must be having a grand time, teasing you!"

"Alicia teases me more." She whimpered a little, and I tried to imagine serious, yet kind, Alicia teasing anyone and came up blank. "I take it you'll be joining in?"

"Well, maybe~!" I grinned and she sighed, whimpering again at the end of the breath. "It's affection!"

"I'm learning…" She glanced over at me then shyly, and smiled. While still blushing. "You're much like he said, though."

"Hmm?"

"Well, Sigurd told me a lot about you." She slowly brought her hands down from her face. On the other side of the room, Sigurd had dragged Eldie and Ethlyn into some sort of game with the babies while Quan and Grahnye talked about Leonster (and probably horses, because Grahnye knew a lot about them). "Called you a 'little lioness', with all the fierceness and elegance that implied."

"He did, huh?" Okay, I did have to preen at that. And flush because I did try to embody both fierceness and elegance. It was only proper for a noblewoman, after all~! I was glad Sigurd thought I was doing that. "Not sure I like that 'little' part though!"

"W-well, you are shorter than… I think everyone here? Save the children." She did have a point there. B-but I wasn't short! Everyone else was just tall! "Hee…" Worse, though, was when she started giggling. "Sorry, I'm not… laughing at you."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I'm just… happy. I was a bit frightened to meet you and Eldigan. You are so close to him, and I know that I am not worthy of him…" She smiled so brightly and sweetly at me that I felt guilty for wanting to be wary. "I'm so glad you're kind, though… I'll certainly do my best to become worthy."

"You keep him smiling like he is, and we'll have _no_ problems." She certainly matched him when it came to sincerity though. I wasn't sure she was _capable_ of lying! "But you were seriously afraid?"

"Oh, I am afraid of lots of things. But…" She brought her hands up to her chest, resting them over her heart. "But this love I feel… it is no mistake. I believe that, and I take strength from it. I can overcome anything, even my fears, thanks to it."

"That so?" She was a _perfect match_ for him, being able to say such things with a straight face. I bit my tongue to keep from arguing, though. I wasn't sure falling in love was anything but setting yourself up for trouble. But, then again, she loved Sigurd and Sigurd was as invincible as the light and sun, so she'd be fine. "Well, if you need anything, let me know, okay?"

"Thank you!" And there was that bright smile again. Gentler than Sigurd's, but no less bright. Like the moon to his sun. The full moon, at least. Pretty easy to see how she snagged Sigurd's heart. And, hey, before long, I'd have another nephew or niece to play with!

But I'd keep an eye. Just in case. I couldn't bear it if Sigurd's heart broke because he'd finally fallen in love. And, well, a lioness watched out for her family.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So, have a Lachesis POV! This is set during 'Interlude - Meetings' in _Memoirs of the Holy War_. Thought I'd have a bit of fun expanding a bit on that comment of Lachesis (and coming up for a non-incest reason why she'd feel that way). Eldigan and Lachesis being half-siblings comes from some supplementary material (Fire Emblem Treasure or something like that?). And also have a bit of Lachesis and Ares interacting


	23. Mercenary

Mercenary

_Chulainn POV - Gran 758_

* * *

Verdane had the best apples. I'd traveled all over Jugdral, but that fact remained absolutely constant. So, when I strolled into Evans, the first thing I did was buy an apple before wandering the market and listen to the gossip. Gossip saved a mercenary's life many times, either by telling them to get the hell away or where potential jobs might be. Why I was on this side of the continent, actually. Every bit of gossip that wasn't about the Grannvale-Isaach 'war' was about how Agustria had trouble brewing. And every mercenary worth their salt knew that nobility plus trouble equaled jobs. Some headed straight for there, and I'd heard of a few who had already been hired. Like that Beowolf and Volkoff group, or whatever their names were. Me? I decided to poke around Evans, see what was going on here. After all, they had trouble here not long ago.

Not now, though. Now, the people were happily cheering, chatting about some tournament that was happening to help celebrate the eventual wedding of their new lord. It was a few months away, to give time for recovery and planting, but the tournament was being held now for… whatever reason. Normally, I didn't bother with such things, as I had more than enough experience in an arna, but… well, I had to admit it. I _was_ a bit curious about this Sigurd fellow. These people had been abused, yet he'd already won their loyalty and respect. That never happened. Those who'd been kicked were wary of more. Yet these folks weren't wary at all. And they didn't seem to be faking either. So, I was curious and the best way to judge a leader was by those who fought for them. Few could hide anything once a battle began, after all. Battles skinned you down to your core, until you were worse than a rabid animal.

"Wonder where one signs up for it," I whispered to myself, finishing off my apple and casually tossing the core to the side. Movement caught my eye, and I glanced over to see a couple of street children frantically picking at the remains of the apple. Even with a good lord, you had things like this… "Hey." The children froze and slowly looked up at me. "Here." I passed them a few gold coins. Money didn't matter to me; I always had enough to not starve and that was all I cared about. "Get yourself something fresh for once."

"...Thank you!" one blurted, probably someone who hadn't been born on the street, but thrown instead. Their fellows were already bolting down the street, before I could 'change my mind'. Not that the mannerly one remained behind for long, disappearing into the crowd.

"Huh. Strange to see so many band together." In my experience, everyone was a rival for the scraps of food discarded. That's part of why I ended up dragged into the gladiator world. I'd been beaten for the food I had scavenged earlier, and then… "Well, glad they're cooperating. Sure it's easier to gather food, at least."

I continued on my way, still listening while I tried to figure out where one signed up for the tournament, or at least found out the rules for the thing. However, I was soon distracted again, but this time by a much nicer sight. There were some kittens playing among some boxes in an alley nearby. Smiling at the sight, I went to buy them some fish and then sat down with them, carefully feeding them the fish while they climbed all over me, mewing and purring to say hello and ask me questions.

I liked animals. Animals didn't stab you in the back. They were honest in a way humans couldn't be. And they were always comforting to be around.

* * *

Interestingly, this tournament was different than ones I'd participated in previously, legal and illegal. For one thing, they provided healers for the combatants. For another, they frowned on deathblows, so I had to hold back a bit. Probably a good thing, considering some of the participants were still in training. Like the squire I just defeated, one with a lance. Style suggested Leonster, and one who hadn't quite adapted to fighting on foot yet.

"Still, he'll become skilled, if he survives," I whispered to myself, rolling my shoulders to loosen them up. I was waiting in the 'entrance' to the field, relaxing before my final bout of the day. Most would head further inside into the actual waiting room, but I liked my quiet. And from here, I could study Sigurd and his lady wife-to-be, Deirdre, since I had a good view of their seats. Good looking couple, with lots of shy smiles and brightness to them. The adoration they had for each other was practically tangible. They were also unusual nobles, since they didn't quite follow tradition. The Best Man and Maid of Honor should've been in the 'places of honor' with them, but neither were. Instead, it was a young boy who excitedly asked all sorts of questions and couldn't sit still for more than a second. Not that either of the two minded, laughing and teasing the boy with all the warmth of proper family. But I had to admit that the boy held my attention more than he should've. He just… I swore he looked like Mariccle...

The judge called for the last match to begin, so I shook my head to clear it and stepped onto the field, focused on the battle to come… until I saw who my opponent was. I knew her. Yes, she was older, but her gaze and stance were the same as when we were children. I hated how easily I recognized her. I'd thrown away those memories to survive. I didn't need them anymore. But I did briefly wonder if she recognized me, but I knew the answer was 'no'. Why would she? Not only did I go by a (slightly) different name, but she thought me… no, 'Holyn of Sophara' _was_ dead. That child died a long time ago. And there was no way she'd see the corpse of that child in a mercenary with death's eyes.

The match began as soon as both of us drew blade and we went after each other with everything… well, _most_ everything in my case. Just as I had in other matches, I didn't use more 'pragmatic' tactics such as kicking dirt into her face or what knights called 'rude blows' (often to the groin or other sensitive areas). And I was also fighting while aggravated for the first time in… a very long while. Because I could so easily remember those things I discarded and it annoyed me. That child was dead. That child died with his family. Died with his younger siblings, died with his parents. Dead, dead, dead. I was just a no-name mercenary, a former dog for a noble who delighted in bloodsports. I hated that seeing Ayra was enough to draw those memories out from the refuse.

In what had to be a span of seconds, Ayra jumped back to avoid a blow and settled into a stance I knew well. The green light sparkling around her blade confirmed it, and I could've honestly shaken her. Gaze was the same, demeanor was the same, and apparently, so was her recklessness! Why the hell was she throwing Astras when Isaach was being annihilated?

Thinking quickly, I blocked the strike before it could get the full 'five' off (not actually as hard as it seemed, because you just had to block before the first swing was completed; that was why you had to be very skilled to utilize Astra) and gritted my teeth as my arms went numb from the blow and my sword cracked. I twisted, disarming her, and discarded both swords, leaving us both unarmed and waiting to hear the call...

As soon as the judge called 'tie', Ayra grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to her side's entrance. And as soon as we were out of sight of the audience, she whirled to face me. "How did you know how to block my Astra?" she hissed, glaring. Despite the blood, her hands twitched towards where her sword should be, no doubt wanting to gut me where I stood. "It couldn't have been a coincidence. You knew exactly where…" And most wouldn't. Yes, there was a magic-not-magic thing that nullified the sword arts gifted to humanity by fairies, but that was nullification. Not blocking. It wasn't hard, _if_ you knew, but very few knew because Isaach had depended on the royal family's technique for safety many times.

But I had a very good lie-not-lie. "I'm a mercenary, Princess, and a former gladiator," I answered, absently checking over my own injuries. She bristled at the title, which almost made me laugh. She'd hated it as a child as well. "If you don't want people to figure out that you're the Princess of Isaach, you need to cut your hair and not throw around Astras."

"That…!" She bristled more, rather like a cat hissing. But instead of hissing, she just glared even more. "Just answer the question."

"I did. I'm a former gladiator turned mercenary. I did jobs around Isaach before moving over this way." Even as I said the not-lies, I thought of the real reason why I knew. Mariccle had taught me, as a means of teaching both Ayra and me that no one trick made someone invincible. That 'Astra' and 'Luna' were simply tools to be trained and utilized, but not depended upon. "Your brother sparred against mercenaries and gladiators to better himself." I shrugged, pretending that was all it was. "It's not that hard of a logic puzzle."

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, of course not. I'm simply stating facts." I let the silence hang for a half-second, just because I could. "Princess."

"Don't call me that!"

"You clearly don't mind, since you threw out an Astra without a thought."

"You…!"

"Excuse me?" That was a new voice, and I automatically tensed and whirled, mentally cursing at how I let someone sneak up on us. I'd been too busy making sure Ayra was too furious to make connections… "I'm here to heal… both of you?" That said, the newcomer wasn't exactly the most threatening looking person. She was a small woman with dark red hair held back by a hair pin and mildly confused green eyes and who wore a very simple, light blue dress. Though she had a calming presence, she… also seemed as threatening as a kitten. At most.

"I dragged him over to talk," Ayra explained to newcomer. I noticed that she was perfectly relaxed now, and even smiling slightly. At least, until she glared at me again. "But he's most unhelpful."

"I apologize for not giving you the answer seek," I retorted, doing my best to keep calm. But that relaxing… that slight smile… all of that just made me more curious. If there was someone who could truly answer my earlier questions about Sigurd... "But let me ask you something. What are you fighting for?"

"What?" Well, finally knocked her off-balanced.

"What are you fighting for? You're clearly weren't motivated by the cash prize." I thought of the little boy who looked like Mariccle in the stands. If Ayra was here, that had to be his son. I'd question hostage, but Ayra's swordsmanship was too pure for that. "So?"

"...I fought for my nephew." Ayra curled a little into herself, but that just confirmed who the boy had been. "And I fight for Sigurd, who gave us safety and sanctuary." To royals from a country his home was fighting? "I am still wary, but I cannot deny his kindness. I am gladdened he has found someone he wishes to spend his life with. I remember how happy my brother was, before illness took his wife away. That's all."

"I see." I couldn't help but smile slightly. That answer was so… typical of her. She didn't grow up much, huh? Though, I supposed she was a little calmer. Maybe. "Interesting. Makes me curious." Even more so now.

"Well, if you want to sign on, you can." Ayra didn't quite look at me, no doubt embarrassed by the honest answer. "I doubt Sigurd will say 'no' to a skilled fighter."

"I think I might. Fighting for something grander than myself might be just what I need." And I'd let them make their own conclusions on that 'grander'. But for me? Well, if this Sigurd really did take them in out of the kindness of his heart, then… I wanted to help. Because I remembered how kind Mariccle was and I had heard rumors that Mariccle never stopped trying to learn what happened to m… to Holyn of Sophara. Least I could do for him was fight for the person who saved his son. "I apologize for being rude to you, miss." But for now, there was a convenient distraction and I needed to seize it for my own sake. "You are…?"

"Alicia, the Chief Healer around here," the woman answered, stepping up and bringing up her staff for emphasis. She then smiled, a perfectly calming one. "What is your name, sir?"

"Chulainn," I answered, focusing on her. Ayra needed time to calm a bit, I knew. "It's Chulainn."

"So, Sir Chu-"

"Just Chulainn." Now that, I had to stop immediately. I was nothing but a mercenary. "I have no title."

"...Chulainn." She pointed to my arm, which was still bloody. And bleeding, actually, though from what I could see, it was due to reopening the injuries. Or Ayra reopening them by dragging me over. "If you don't mind holding that up, I can begin healing you."

"Thank you." I obeyed, curious about how thorough of a job she'd do. And considering she first used her magic to do a study of the injury, the answer was going to be 'very'. "It's strange, to be healed."

"It is strange?"

"Gladiators treat their own injuries." But here I was at an arena, actually getting treated by a proper healer. I even removed my gauntlet just so that I could confirm the injury really was healing. "Healers are better than gods, in my eyes."

"Quite the blasphemous thing to say, especially to a cleric." She met my gaze calmly, even as she kept on healing. Though, the slight trace of dryness in her voice made me think she didn't consider herself a 'cleric', no matter what she said. "Are not healers agents of the gods?"

"Perhaps, but you can see a healer help people. You have to hold faith in the gods helping." With my injury completely healed, I snapped my gauntlet and armor back on. "Besides, you didn't hit me with a staff like the last cleric I said that to."

"Do you say that to all clerics?"

"No, I was delirious from an infected wound and babbling." Honestly, I'd said it in the hopes the cleric would stop healing me and let me die, but no such luck. But I didn't want to remember that, so I looked at Ayra, who stayed apart. "Are you not getting healed?"

"I-I am!" Ayra snapped, stumbling a bit over her words. She glowered to hide her embarrassment. "I didn't want to interrupt!" She softened when she held up her own injured arm and Alicia began tending to it. "Thank you, Miss Alicia."

I lingered back as Ayra got healed, closing my eyes as I thought about what I just got myself into. Ah, well. Wouldn't be the worst job I had to deal with.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: And here's one that got requested quite a bit too. xD Chulainn's recruitment from his POV, complete with 'reuniting' with Ayra and meeting Alicia. And what he was even doing in the area and why he competed.


End file.
